✚ 001. [voice]

[puppydoctor]

[It would be really, really nice to just go one day without a reminder that none of this is normal. Like a patient noticing the glowing tattoo and looking uncomfortable. Or having a full-blown panic attack on the way to work, just because a bus passed him by.

Or a bedpan filling itself up with hot coffee on his last day of work as a nurse.]

It turns out "infinite coffee" is somehow the actual most annoying superpower ever.

[There's a shuffle and the sound of water running. He's attempting to get the worst of the coffee off of the stain, while the scalded skin underneath quickly heals itself. Another reminder.]

What's the policy on disappearing into anonymity here? 'Cause I just wanted to rest in peace, not live out a comic book. I don't even want Heaven after all this, Purgatory would be fine. I was a good Catholic kid.

[Until he stopped believing in God, committed adultery, and got divorced.]

I lived - live - to help people. I joined the army back home to help people, and that's all I want to do here, with my afterlife. But I'm tired. Death is tiring, and I just want to be Mr. Nobody who goes to work and comes home from work and gets a couple of drinks with his friends. I don't want to be a hero to anybody's world.

... But if I'm going to be, I need to know what the hell you tell yourself to keep going. I don't have anywhere to get back to. This is my only world now, and I don't know if that makes me part of it, or if I'll be an outsider forever, but I need to hear it. I know I'm not the only undead guy walking around without a purpose.

Comments

[puppydoctor]

It's not, Sarah. I mean it.

[He'd be giving her a serious glance if this wasn't over audio.]

[coppelganger]

[ She sighs audibly over the feed. ]

I'm sorry. I'm being so fucking weird. It's not you, I swear.

[puppydoctor]

You're not being weird. I'm the one who's just sitting here talking about... you know, and expecting his friends to be alright with it.

[coppelganger]

I am alright with it. It's not like it makes you less of a person. I just—right before I came here, a friend—someone I knew—

[ You know. ]

[puppydoctor]

[Oh.]

Oh. Oh god, Sarah, I'm...

[He wants to hug or, or hold her, or comfort her in some way, but he's just paralyzed here on the other side of an audio connection.]

I'm so sorry.

[coppelganger]

It's fine. I'm fine. I guess I hadn't really processed it, and then I met you, and. I guess I'm just wondering what he'd do if he was here. I think he'd be wondering a lot of the same things you are.

[puppydoctor]

[You're not fine.]

... My best friend died.

[Well. That wasn't what he wanted to come out.]

And it's really hard. I couldn't even explain how hard it is, except... you know what it feels like. So if you need to talk about him...

[coppelganger]

[ Oh, god, stick your foot in your mouth a little deeper, will you, Sarah? ]

I'm sorry about your friend.

[puppydoctor]

No, I didn't mean that to be about me, I just meant-

[He rubs his hands over his face.]

I want to help. I really like you, and I want to help.

[See, he can do the foot-in-mouth thing too!]

[coppelganger]

[ She's quiet for several seconds before she answers him. ]

Thanks.

[ Though she's biting back the urge to brush him off and insist everything's cool, let's go back to talking about you being dead. ]

[puppydoctor]

[Somehow that isn't a very reassuring answer. George is silent for a few moments. They're still only getting to know each other, and he has no right to protect her. But he can't just leave it.]

... Tell me about him. Your friend.

[coppelganger]

I don't even know if friend's the right word. Paul was... aloof. He could be cutthroat. He wasn't above threatening my family if he thought it'd get me to do what he wanted. But he did care about me, and he helped me when it really mattered.

[puppydoctor]

[George's immediate thought is that that doesn't sound much like a friend to him. For the first time, he wonders what Sarah's life back home was like. But he's not going to say anything about that, not right now.]

I'm so sorry, Sarah.

[coppelganger]

[ Yeah well Sarah's standards are not very high. ]

It's... alright. It was just complicated.

[puppydoctor]

There's a lot of that, between both our lives.

[He means it to be lighthearted. But he doesn't even know the half of it.]

[coppelganger]

Sorry. Guess I should've said something before you agreed to go out with me.

[puppydoctor]

Sarah. It doesn't matter to me, okay? I don't have a problem with complicated.

[coppelganger]

[ If you only knew how complicated things can get in Sarahverse, George. ]

If you say so.

[puppydoctor]

I do say so. One hundred percent. Just throw your complicated at me, I can take it.

[coppelganger]

[ Well, at least that gets her to laugh. ]

Jesus, listen to us. It's like we're in a soap opera right now.

[puppydoctor]

[He groans dramatically.]

Oh man, not again. I thought I was past that part of my life.

[coppelganger]

That's what your early twenties are for, yeah?

[puppydoctor]

If twenty-eight counts as early, then yeah.

[coppelganger]

Wait, how old are you?

[puppydoctor]

Twenty-nine...

[Suddenly nervous!]