010 ♍ text ♍ locked from norman osborn, hazel lockwood

[glowsferatu]

hope can be such a fickle thing

ive lived my life without it for years and it chooses now of all times to barrel its way back in
but none of that makes it fit in the environment
its only like an ice cube trying to enjoy a summers day

even when im staring at it in front of me i cant seem to conquer the idea that it isnt mine
that im not the one who gets a happy ending its only being borrowed from someone else
another me from another timeline who things progressed more happily for
another me who could look at this and actually feel like shes earned it

i dont know what to do with this feeling
except to know its made a fool of me

[ She includes a photo taken on her desk, some weird black ball covered in candy corn spikes. Is it a Halloween decoration? ]

im going to be a mother after all

Comments

[glowsferatu]

[ Of course, she's kind of had to give most of the respondents a crash course in Alternia, so someone relenting that he knows enough is a relief. ]

its more than that
if this were merely the bridging of generations that in itself would be immense
but she represents do much more than that
she marks the emergence of a future where one no longer existed

even if that future cant be fulfilled in this universe
the promise that a stable timeline exists where such a thing will be permitted
the scope of that news defies categorization

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Symbols. That was a little more up Chilton's alley, as it were.]

I have underestimated the profundity. Perhaps another congratulations is in order? Kanaya, considering how restrictive the multiversal laws appear to be here with regards to our coming and going as a populace, this little clustered being truly is remarkable.

Miraculous, even.

[glowsferatu]

thats it
thats the exact word ive been looking for

even more appropriate in that only divine intervention was able to create this opportunity

[slightlyoffchilt]

Are you one to believe in fate, Kanaya? In destiny? I find that it is a popular concept among my social circle.

[glowsferatu]

considering who brought us here i dont find that in any way surprising
fate is a catalyzing force in every imports life

where im from its even stricter
one doesnt merely believe in it so much as directly experiences the results of its machinations
but i called it by a different name
paradox space is a name ive come to use to denote my particular corner of the omniverse
as it implicitly defines everything beyond universal boundaries but ive come to accept that there must be many universe beyond that purview
so its really more of a cluster of existence i suppose
but paradox space acts with the intention of growing
it uses its agent skaia to produce new universes within its cluster that will themselves bear fruit
and so the timeline must be nurtured to the end
but time branches outward from the successful progression of the alpha
with every possibility most will lead to dead ends
timelines doomed and barren that must be cut off to preserve the alphas health
my own is one such dead end

so yes doctor i suppose it could be said that i believe in fate
but i think its more correct to say that i know empirically that fate is an active force in the worlds where ive resided

[slightlyoffchilt]

Paradox space. (Paradox Space?)

[He wasn't certain of her proper noun preference and grammatical situating. Such was his momentary, mild confusion over her typing quirk.]

Though I see your point. I certainly don't wish to draw the wrong conclusion -- but the fact that you have always been a corresponding variable to this predestined mechanism is something of an interesting note. I haven't performed a survey, if others have such proof of fate as you do, but I might hazard a guess that many would claim otherwise.

You seem unique in that way.

[glowsferatu]

paradox space
erm
sorry force of habit
Paradox space

[ Though she might be inclined to consider it a proper noun herself, regardless of quirk, but Space is a far more tangible thing to her than most people. ]

but uniqueness is not actually an uncommon quality to me
rather something to which ive been attributed my entire life
in this case specifically reality can look very different when youve seen it from the outside
when youve participated in the genesis of a universe its difficult for it not to have some affect on your perspective

[slightlyoffchilt]

I had always considered you to be remarkable.

[A point of pride, in fact, and Chilton wasn't reminding Kanaya of the fact; rather, he was proclaiming it for any onlooker to witness. Kanaya Maryam had always been worthy of attention.]

If there is anything I can do to assist your endeavor, or task as it may be, please do not hesitate to let me know. It wouldn't be difficult to pull a few strings at the hospital, if ever your ward needs urgent care.

Though, quite honestly, I'm sure it will baffle the staff.

[glowsferatu]

yes
im sure it would
frankly im not sure id trust her to a doctor any more than i would if it were karkat
alien biology isnt something most of them are equipped to handle

but i appreciate the offer doctor
and i will keep it in mind as need arises

[slightlyoffchilt]

I trust that you will, Kanaya. And good luck with whatever may come.