010 ♍ text ♍ locked from norman osborn, hazel lockwood

[glowsferatu]

hope can be such a fickle thing

ive lived my life without it for years and it chooses now of all times to barrel its way back in
but none of that makes it fit in the environment
its only like an ice cube trying to enjoy a summers day

even when im staring at it in front of me i cant seem to conquer the idea that it isnt mine
that im not the one who gets a happy ending its only being borrowed from someone else
another me from another timeline who things progressed more happily for
another me who could look at this and actually feel like shes earned it

i dont know what to do with this feeling
except to know its made a fool of me

[ She includes a photo taken on her desk, some weird black ball covered in candy corn spikes. Is it a Halloween decoration? ]

im going to be a mother after all

Comments

text

[glowsferatu]

despite the collective experience of nearly all of existence
we still havent quite grasped how to calm those fears when motherhood begins
if horror needs an area to explore to terrify its audience id say thats an effective one
imagine attending a haunted house where the theme is "congratulations youre going to be a mother!"

text

[justimom]

It would be an experience unlike most others people have experienced. Perhaps you should suggest it. If I understand correctly this is the month for things such as that.

text

[glowsferatu]

i in fact have plans to contribute to one later this month
perhaps i should rethink my theme to better reflect my changing circumstances

text

[justimom]

If you do, in form me. I would be curious to see it. Perhaps I would be curious either way.

If you wish to speak to someone about what you are feeling or what you are going through my door will be open.

text

[glowsferatu]

i hope that by the time shes actually hatched i havent worn out the invitation
i can imagine myself crossing that threshold very frequently

text

[justimom]

Luckily I am already very old, so most of my invitations have long lengths that they stay open for.

text

[glowsferatu]

it isnt time i worry will close it
more exhaustion
or frustration
general overuse

text

[justimom]

I do not get frustrated easily. Or exhausted easily. In fact I rarely find myself feeling either so that should not be of a concern. The last time I was truly exhausted was actually when my daughters were young.

text

[glowsferatu]

thats rather what im imagining
ill have a young daughter of my own and im sure it will leave me harried and frantic
so i dont imagine having to deal with me would be too much easier

text

[justimom]

Much easier than dealing with three little ones all at once I imagine.

text

[glowsferatu]

were they all close in age
or i suppose i should ask if the length of your adolescence is anything comparable

[justimom]

They were all very close in age and so they grew at similar rates. It was quite hectic when they were all very young

[glowsferatu]

that must have been several handfuls
i suppose ill be fortunate to only have the one

[justimom]

It was but it was certainly worth it. They were a joy and sometimes a terror, but mostly a joy. One is handful enough all on it's own though.

[glowsferatu]

im sure she will be
perhaps it would be wise for me to try growing a few more hands to meet the task

[justimom]

If you're capable of it I would highly suggest it

[glowsferatu]

oh sorry no not at all
that
would be weird
i was simply making a joke

[justimom]

As was I. I suppose we did not quite make it.

[glowsferatu]

i suppose that would make us a couple of sorry craftswomen

[justimom]

Depressingly so.

[glowsferatu]

but that can be alright
as long as it doesnt translate to the areas that truly matter