maskormenace | First Promotion(?) ; video

[the screen is overtaken by a black hole, blurred pale around the edges. there's a deafening tap tap tap. is it a monster? some new demonic threat?! MORE VENGEFUL TOILETS RETURNING FROM THEIR SLUMBER????? the black recedes and...it's some doof's finger. one red eye peers at the screen way too closely]

Maaaaan, I don't get these smart phones at all. Where's a guy gotta go t' get a good ol' fashioned flip phone huh? well, whatever. [he clears his throat and projects his voice needlessly, briefly wearing a regal tone like an old cape]

Citizens of America! Thank--[he pulls back the camera, accidentally turning it so he stands diagonal in the feed] Thank you for your hospitality. I'm Sadao Maou, and I'm the new assistant manager at Blessed Bounties, the best produce store you'll see around these Pennsylvania parts! Drop by for a discount on oranges later today.

[he flashes a winning grin. not even an hour in the place and he's already doing PR]

I'm kinda from Japan, so please have patience as I get used to how things run around here. Otherwise, I'm at your service!

Now that that's outta the way . . . Urushihara! I know you're out there, lurkin' somewhere on the net. Come fix my phone for me, it kept sayin' I need an "update" an' now it's wiggin' out.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's actually kinda funny. You work at a grocery store now, right? Does that mean we get better food now?

...Oh, wait. Ashiya's not here. Neither is Suzuno. Who's gonna cook?!

[Maou peeks up through his bangs]

There's other people in this house. Someone's gotta have the skill we can exploit.

We could always order out.

A lot.

Or buy premade crap from the grocery store.

That's true.

[he straightens like he wasn't just curled in the fetal position over fear of death by corporate]

There's gotta be good fast food joints around here. Junk food is good for the heart.

Yeah. And I'm actually allowed to leave the house. Not that I'm gonna, but the option is nice.

Yeahh, let's keep you not wanted for as long as possible. Makes dragging you outside easier.

Why? It's not like I'm gonna get a job at a grocery store or a... a day care, or whatever.

That's your second thought? A day care?

File these things under "Jobs that would make me kill myself."

Did you mean "any job that requires you to leave the house."

That's fine though, it wouldn't be for that kinda job. More the . . . super secret mission kinda job.

[ Urushihara scoffs and leans back, bracing his hands against the ground. If Maou was observant, he'd notice that Urushihara's computer was much nicer than the one at home, a larger monitor but a thinner model overall. There's also a box next to his small desk, full of cords, games, and small game systems. ]

How about I stay here and we pretend we're still at home?

We could . . . but I dunno how we'd afford all that back home. [he inclines his head at Urushihara's set up] Kinda ruins the illusion.

Where'd you get all that stuff, anyway?