maskormenace | First Promotion(?) ; video

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First Promotion(?) ; video

[the screen is overtaken by a black hole, blurred pale around the edges. there's a deafening tap tap tap. is it a monster? some new demonic threat?! MORE VENGEFUL TOILETS RETURNING FROM THEIR SLUMBER????? the black recedes and...it's some doof's finger. one red eye peers at the screen way too closely]

Maaaaan, I don't get these smart phones at all. Where's a guy gotta go t' get a good ol' fashioned flip phone huh? well, whatever. [he clears his throat and projects his voice needlessly, briefly wearing a regal tone like an old cape]

Citizens of America! Thank--[he pulls back the camera, accidentally turning it so he stands diagonal in the feed] Thank you for your hospitality. I'm Sadao Maou, and I'm the new assistant manager at Blessed Bounties, the best produce store you'll see around these Pennsylvania parts! Drop by for a discount on oranges later today.

[he flashes a winning grin. not even an hour in the place and he's already doing PR]

I'm kinda from Japan, so please have patience as I get used to how things run around here. Otherwise, I'm at your service!

Now that that's outta the way . . . Urushihara! I know you're out there, lurkin' somewhere on the net. Come fix my phone for me, it kept sayin' I need an "update" an' now it's wiggin' out.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is it just me, or does the Porter have a thing for people from Japan?

Anyway, welcome aboard. I'm Jacob Taylor. I've been here a while, so maybe I can help you out if you've got any questions.

Thanks, Jacob! I'll take you up on that. 'Cause boy do I got a list. But most importantly . . .

[his tone becomes Super Serious and Urgent. this is a matter of NATIONAL SECURITY]

Even though the government assigns us these jobs, can we still get promoted?

[Jacob tilts his head slightly. This guy is super intense about his new government-assigned orange-selling job.]

Sure you can. If anything, you might have an advantage over the competition. Depends on whether your manager is a fan of imPorts.

If they're not, I'll change their minds.

[Maou pumps a shounen fist. Promotion is the only way he can move up in the human world, and he intends to get to the TOP!]

You're pretty ambitious, aren't you?

[Not disapproving by any means. Jacob can be a little shounen himself about things like Justice or Principles, albeit with less overt fist-pumping.]

Oh, yeah. I started rock bottom, an' I've been workin' my way up since. Someday, I'll even be . . . CEO!

[or ruling the human race. puh-tay-toe, puh-tah-toe]

You sound like you understand.

Climbing the ladder's never been my style. I'm more at home in the trenches than behind a desk any day. But I know what it's like to have dreams.

[It's just that Jacob's dreams are the boring heroic save-galaxy-get-married-have-family kind.]

Are you sure you want to work your way up in this business? There's lots you could do here besides selling produce. Unless that's your thing.

[He won't judge if orange sales are your lifelong passion or something. For all Jacob knows, this guy is from a dimension where produce sales are a vital matter of life and death.]

Man, we've been here like two days and you're already bossin' me around...

Can ya fix it or not? And whoa how do you switch it to an audio call? Uh . . .

[blinks vapidly down at the camera... brb pushing buttons]

Dude. Your room is like. Next door. Get in here.

Oh yeah. It's weird you're not in the same room . . .

[he's standing up, his hand dropping to his side. enjoy a view of his ass before he hangs up. he'll just walk right into Urushihara's room and plop down next to him.

Maou thrusts his phone in his face]

Fix it. Please.

[ Of course, Maou's thrusting his phone in between Urushihara's face and.......

a computer monitor.

What else is new.

With a weary sigh, he yanks the phone from Maou's hand. ]

Yeah, hi to you too, jerkface.

I did say please . . .

[Maou leans toward Urushihara, curiously staring over his shoulder to watch what magic he performs on his phone.

Basically, those ads that pop up on browser tellking you you absolutely must update the most crucial app thing ever or you WILL DIE??!???!

Maou clicked "yes." And ended up downloading a virus. Brilliant Demon King, right here, come and get it]

[ yeah yeah whatever he did it's fixed. ]

Take this thing back, Satan. I only got two hands.

[ He folds his arms over his desk and stares intently at his computer screen. ]

So. This isn't Japan.

Nope.

[he fiddles with his phone, just to check it's working, then slips it into his pocket]

An' I'm pretty sure if America had hover cars, Japan'd be in on that. 'Least they better be. So. Different Earth, too.

Edited 2015-11-06 07:31 (UTC)

Yeah, great. [ He sounds miserable. Or as miserable as someone with no emotion in his voice can sound. ] Ashiya doesn't seem to be here. Emi, either.

Or Chi, or Suzuno . . . I definitely woulda got a death threat or two by now.

[he grimaces. whether it's in memory of past death threats or the fact they're the only ones of their rag tag gang in the entire world will forever be a mystery]

It's like you an' Ashiya switched.

Sucks for you, I guess.

[ Urushihara looks back at Maou askance, trying to get a read on him. He's still not quite used to Maou; deep down, maybe he prefers Satan. Then again, this world seems so heavily based on heroes that it might be wise to keep a low profile here, too. ]

[Maou doesn't want to agree to that, because really, it does suck. He misses Ashiya. But having Urushihara isn't bad, and he doesn't want to make him think so.

Instead, Maou sighs and leans his chin in a palm, the elbow jabbing into a thigh of his crossed legs. Another jump into another unfamiliar world weighs his shoulders down. Satan will likely never be satisfied with his position in life, no matter how high he climbs. Maou still carries that ambition, but he wanted things to stay the way they were for a while, in that tiny Devil's Castle in Sasazuka. He doesn't want to lose that familial simplicity. This change is a challenge he'll face with gusto, but it's one he hates at the moment. The gusto will come later.

After a moment, he speaks like it's all just a casual complaint] It's not even square one. They just scooped up my position at MgRonald's an' replanted it into another world's grocery store. We just got more obstacles this time around.

[ Despite the Maou-Satan divide, Urushihara can't deny that he never felt truly "at home" anywhere in Ente Isla. That tiny apartment in a tiny part of Shibuya was greater than the true Heaven, and he knew he'd miss it.

Then again, Maou was here. At least he wasn't completely alone.

And Emilia wasn't here either. That was even better. ]

So, there goes your loyalty to your franchise, eh? Any customer service position will do?

Hey!

[He erupts, fist clenched in the air and everything. And just like that, the gusto fires are relit]

I'll always be loyal to MgRonald's, you take that back!

Ah, no.

What job did you get saddled with here, anyway? Drive-thru at Sentucky Fried Chicken?

NO WAY IN HELL!! It's a produce store called Blessed Bounties an' it's a very respectable place to work! An' when we get [home] back to our Earth, I'll reclaim my position at MgRonald's!

Yeah, as long as you don't get fired for not showing up to work for... However long you're here.

Miss Kisaki will understand . . . Right?

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