001 △ text

[triangleman]

FOHYHU PLQGV DQG ZDWFKIXO HBHV
ZLOO DOZDBV HDUQ D ILWWLQJ SULCH


[ooc: there's an excellent decoding tool for the impatient (like me)! he'll just be using a simple caesar for most replies... unless you really impress him.]

Comments

[deciphered]

[Ford doesn't look away from the wall, still writing. Four letter shift. Five letter shift. Six letter shift. He knows these will be wrong too. Three one letter words, all different. Nothing a simple substitution cipher is going to solve, even layered with something else.

He keeps going anyway.]

It's possible. We don't know what he's planning. How long he's been here. What kind of resources he has. [He crosses out his work again, then after a pause, lets his arm drop back to his side. Finally turns to face Dipper, tucking both hands behind his back.] We can't assume anything right now.

[ursawhiner]

What we know for sure is that Bill is going to cause trouble.

[What kind of trouble, though. A thought occurs to Dipper.]

Do you think he has superpowers? The Porter might have changed somethings.

[Hopefully to their advantage.]

[deciphered]

[The idea settles like ice in his stomach, a creeping dread that Ford can't shake. The one advantage Ford still had was that he understood what Bill could do, how he worked, his limitations. If none of that remains true...]

We should all hope he doesn't. [He glances back at the wall, the cipher he still hasn't cracked. Whatever it is, it will have to wait.] Dipper, go get your sister. I'll call Stanley. We all need to talk.

[ursawhiner]

[Dipper gives a short nod before running out of the room.]

Mabel! Where are you? Family meeting!

[glitterateur]

[When Dipper starts yelling Mabel hops her way out of her craft corner-- she has movie poster mockups to make for her new internet friend! But that's less important than a family meeting, which may result in another cool journey where she can reaffirm her status as a Good Person.]

Coming! What's going on!? Do we get to go find Bigfoot and then punch him in the face?

[ursawhiner]

Why would you punch Bigfoot? Never mind, we have to talk about something important, come on.

[He starts leading Mabel towards the kitchen, trying not to seem too jittery.]

[oldstandard]

[Stan is sitting at the kitchen table across from Ford, looking super thrilled to be there. He definitely didn't have better or more fun things to do today.]

Ugh, look, if we're not punching a giant hairy animal, I'm no longer interested.

[deciphered]

If only it were something that simple.

[He's too agitated to sound annoyed, folding his hands neatly on the table in front of him. The last time they'd had this conversation had been different -- he'd known more, the sense of urgency had been more direct. Focused. Now, everything is significantly more nebulous. Derailed in a way that he should have anticipated, but didn't.]

Come in, children. Sit down. We have a lot to talk about.

[glitterateur]

[Mabel looks around for any cool bags or scrolls before grabbing the first chair next to Stan and sitting down.]

Sooo this still isn't the wizard school conversation, is it.

[ursawhiner]

[Dipper climbs up on a chair and puts his business face on.]

No owls. Did you guys see that coded message on the network?

[glitterateur]

Yeah! Voll's post. We're gonna make a movie about dinosaur-puppy hybrids playing basketball!

[deciphered]

Any whimsical-yet-heartwarming cinematic dreams you may have shared are a lie designed to ensnare you. "Voll" is nothing but a clever ruse to distract you from the truth at hand. Bill is here. And if his method of communication is any indication, he already has access to a physical form. I don't need to tell the two of you how dangerous this is.

[oldstandard]

What is this, you dodging some creditors or something? You know that's not actually that urgent, you just need to stop answering the door. And invest in some mace.

[ursawhiner]

Mace won't work this time. And it's worse than creditors.

Bill's a demonic god of chaos. And he has it in for us.

[glitterateur]

--wait wait hold up, the guy who made that post was Bill?!

[This is horrifying, a betrayal on a deep Air Bud-loving level.]

[oldstandard]

I wouldn't say worse so confidently, you haven't met some of these guys.

So by 'demonic god of chaos' what do you actually mean? I've never gotten a thesaurus to decode your weirder sentences and I'm not starting now.

[deciphered]

He means exactly that. Or something close enough to it.

[Ford unfolds his hands again, letting them curl into loose fists instead. There's no way around it this time. No delaying the conversation in the hope that it would become irrelevant before Stan needed to know the details. He heaves a sigh, and when he finally speaks again, his tone is grim.]

I've made many powerful enemies in my time, but Bill is one of the most dangerous. Under normal circumstances, his reach would be more limited. Restricted to our minds, our thoughts. But given a physical form, and in a dimension where our own abilities are so unpredictable... there's no way of knowing what he might be capable of.

[glitterateur]

He's capable of being a body-stealing giant lying jerkface and I wasted some of my best material on him!

[Dinobud is dead to her now, and her fury knows no bounds.]

[ursawhiner]

He wants to destroy the world! And here he might have the chance to do it.

--Wait, you're not talking about the sock puppet thing, are you?

[oldstandard]

So let me get this straight then. You ticked off a demon, didn't finish that fight, and the kids are involved in this now?

[deciphered]

It's not that simple. I was in the process of finding a way to put a stop to things when... [He trails off, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. When he called Stan for help. When they activated the portal.] Things became complicated. By the time I was in a position to do anything else about it, he'd already found the children.

[glitterateur]

[The Grunkle fight senses are tingling.]

...okay but he found other people first?! Like uh I think he found Gideon first and then-- other people and then Soos and me and Dipper? So! Plus we've kicked his butt twice now so it's fine. This is fine!

[That sounded more comforting in her head.]

[oldstandard]

[This is the opposite of fine, he has to be a responsible adult again, why does this keep happening?]

Will you look at the time. Sure is getting late. The two of you should be heading off to bed. Now.

[ursawhiner]

What? The sun's still out. It's 4.30.

[glitterateur]

And since when do we have a bedtime?