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maskormenace2015-11-20 04:22 pm
maskormods) wrote in maskormenace2015-11-20 04:22 pm
Entry tags:
- !npc | the government,
- harleen quinzel | harley quinn,
- jonathan crane | scarecrow,
- marceline abadeer | the vampire queen,
- † akito/agito wanijima | fang king,
- † april ludgate | janet snakehole,
- † billy kaplan | wiccan,
- † d'artagnan | n/a,
- † dipper pines | n/a,
- † dorian gray | n/a,
- † hartley rathaway | the pied piper,
- † james jesse | the trickster,
- † jang junseo | n/a,
- † jesse pinkman | diesel,
- † kaneda shotaro | n/a,
- † kitty jones | n/a,
- † klarion bleak | n/a,
- † luke castellan | n/a,
- † mabel pines | n/a,
- † mathieu carver | shadow,
- † max caulfield | n/a,
- † princess bubblegum | n/a,
- † qubit | n/a,
- † raina | n/a,
- † rhys | 10 million dollars,
- † robert callaghan | yokai,
- † ted kord | blue beetle ii,
- † the (twelfth) doctor | stop that,
- † wally west | kid flash
NOVEMBER 20TH, 2015
MERMADE FOR A SPINOFF
Since the groundbreaking NBSea "documentary" that illuminated how some imPorts are clearly merport spies, the younger, more hipster locals of Heropa have dedicated their weekends to making homage art by creating (and often starring in) live "mermaid" installations. The most popular is a performance piece called "Dipper in the Deep End".
LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANKSY
As seen around Nonah:
Eleven painted portraits of Ambassador Urquhart have been witnessed around the city of Nonah with this quotation spray-painted across the subject's face. But is it... Art?
BUR LAPDOG
As seen on the gossip tabloid-turned-show TMI:
There's something in the air — and it's love! Rumor has it that Dr. Jonathan Crane has been seeing a special someone during his time behind bars. Speculation is raging as to the identity of the doctor's mysterious paramour, who our source would refer to only as "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"; however, what's certain is that the two had been engaging in frequent late night conversations and after hours "office visits" for some time before his incarceration. According to our anonymous source, she "likes dangerous men," a comment which our source punctuated with an exaggerated eyebrow waggle and, we quote, "wink wink." The source then provided this "artist's interpretation" of what a relationship between the two might look like.
How far back does this romance go? Will she stand by her man on the outside? Will the love of a good woman be enough to keep him from ending up behind bars again? And the burning question on everyone's minds: can a little Scarecrow be far behind?
HAVE A THREESOME
As seen in all imPort city newspapers, advertisement section:
MUSKETEERS INCORPORATED - Private Investigation and Security Services
Are you concerned for your safety? Have you been a victim of crime, and feel there is nowhere you can turn?
Musketeers Incorporated can help. We will provide loyal, personal security to keep you, your family, or your business safe. We pledge to provide you with high quality, reliable and truthful investigative results, where your confidentiality is guaranteed. When you are in need of assistance, our doors will be open. We will provide aid for import and native alike. To serve is our duty, and to defend you, our pleasure.
To avail of our services, or to inquire around working with us, please contact Athos, Porthos and d'Artagnan, c/o Musketeers Incorporated, De Chima.
BOOTYFUL
As seen alongside commercials during daytime network programming:
Meet your new trainer Norman! He's a powerhouse of hunk ready to booty blast your assets into fine, focused fitness! With legendary measures of experience and legendary measurements PERIOD, you can find him at any Booty Burn Boot Camp franchise located within porter distance of the imPort cities! Don't wait! Don't delay! Get off that couch and into Norman's capable hands RIGHT NOW!
SUGAR AND PUMPKIN SPICE
As reported by the TuffLuffington Post and conversed about on Bwitter:
The illustrious and astoundingly sweet Princess Bubblegum found the BITTERLY MISSED stolen Pumpkin Spice within a mysterious basement, perhaps by using her remarkable powers of deduction. The culprit was none other than... (dun dun dun) KLARION! Disdainful of his caper being discovered, the self-proclaimed witch boy had turned the many jars of looted pumpkin spice into a bunch of rats, spiders and lizards and sent them running throughout the neighborhood in order to get rid of tasty evidence. But of course, once the spell had worn off, the critters turned back into a pumpkin (spice). A lot of Pumpkin Spice. These missing spice jars have appeared all over Heropa in completely random places -- places YOU might visit! Alleyways, parks, the middle of the sidewalk, up trees, and -- in some unfortunate cases -- inside pipes! Thanks, Klarion. Citizens, remember this when it's time to write up your naughty list!
TO-FUR-KEY
As promoted on the website BlueTube:
After an imPort broke 5,000,000 BlueTube views the viral video is causing lots of heated debate amidst animal rights organizations, diehard carnivores, and lovers of cat BlueTube sensations.
OH LOOK, SOME RUSSIAN PROPAGANDA PROBABLY
As seen on national news outlets and national public radio:
According to Moscow-based Soviet scientists, the former interdimensional godlike force known as Lachesis has been reincarnated into the subconscious of a native child -- a native child who conveniently happens to be at an undisclosed location in Russia. US intelligence operatives doubt the veracity of this claim, calling it nothing but a ploy to stir imPort aggression and civilian panic. Lachesis has been silent since the second era of imPorts began in 2013.
CHAIN GANG ACTIVITY?
As seen on the local De Chima news station DCNUWS:
A section of chain link fence has gone missing at a local De Chima middle school. Authorities are confused as to why such a thing would be removed and baffled as to how.
Stay tuned.
CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from EVERGREEN to SNOWFLAKE in response to everyone being so special. Yes, even you!
WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
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Why! I thought we were done with this merspy stuff!
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We're gonna go see it and we are gonna take pictures.
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[ no, this is the Doctor just trying to get Dipper's goat. ]
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And remember to report to your handlers.
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[He has no idea what the hell this is or what to expect but hell if he's not going to check it out.]
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[He's not going to even say anything. Just this smile]
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text - ID reads Kid Flash
whO CARES ABOUT CRANES LOVE LIFE
HE KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE AND HE DOESNT REGRET IT
UNBELIEVABLE
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id; carl grimes
I'm not saying girls are crazy.
But girls are crazy
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'Have a threesome?' I'm afraid someone's going to have to explain that to our favorite Frenchman—and probably poor Lucy as well!
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id; carl grimes
why is mermaid even a thing? i don't understand. Does this mean I'm going to see one of those things look like me?Text
But I am unsure what is more unexciting; the art itself or the subject thereof.
[Guess who's pointedly ignoring the fradulant drivel about his private life? This guy right here. Bring it.]
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WHAT THE HELL!!!!!
WHAT DID YOU TELL PEOPLE OH MY GOD IM GOING TO KILL YOU
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Text
-> text 1/2
2/2
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I didn't think it would get that many views.
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no no no no no
NOBODY is DATING crane oh my god
AND WHO MADE THAT DUMB PICTURE WITH THE BABY IM GOING TO KILL THEM
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permatext;
Re: permatext;
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text;
And being emotionally crippled doesn't help his case either.
Why does this report always end up sounding like a tabloid??
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christmas starts earlier and earlier
only november and god came back already
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[Do they?]
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most people would believe anything if you said it often enough.
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private, switchin' to video
private, video
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private text!
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video!
video foreverrr
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Video
That sounds like a trap.
[This does not actually instill any common sense about the subject.]
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So what I'm taking from this is, the Soviets think we're as stupid as the American news media does. If they actually did think they had an interdimensional godlike being in their control, they certainly wouldn't tell anyone.
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