002 ¤ Video

[moneylogues]

[The video feed starts of with Felix holding the camera. He's wearing his armor and helmet, so you can't see his face, but he somehow manages to look bored anyway. It's also not his house. Oh no, this is someone else's place.]

Okay, you know what I'm getting sick and tired off? Giving people advice about their lives. People here have such boring problems and most of them don't really matter. So. I'm going to give you guys some advice that's actually useful.

So today, I'm doing a special edition of Dear Felix. You're all getting some special advice, from the bottom of my heart.

[And then he reaches off camera and- okay that's knives. That's a bunch of throwing knives. Okay. Felix just holds them up to the camera.]

I'm going to show you how to throw these babies, because people just don't appreciate them anymore. Don't get me wrong, guns? Guns are great! But they're so fucking dull sometimes! Plus, hey, it's never a bad thing to be versatile. Alright! [He stands up, pointing the camera at the wall. He has every intention of throwing the knife straight at it.] Now let me just-

[An armoured glove appears from behind gripping Felix’s wrist, stopping him mid-throw.]

Felix.

[A filtered voice echoes through the room as Locus comes into view making their already distinctive height difference more pronounced. At 6’4 he’s more than a foot taller than his partner and broader too. A distinction Locus uses to his advantage when he grabs Felix by the back of the collar and calmly lifts him up off the floor by nearly a foot.]

I warned you.

[Infamous last words with Locus having every intention of throwing the bad kitty out of his house.

And then there's Felix, handling it with all the grace of a- Well, with all the grace of Felix.]

Damn it, Locus, I'm trying to do a thing- You are such an asshole, I swear to god, FUCK-

[And that's when the video cuts off. Enjoy the sight of a grown man being lifted like an angry cat, network.]

Comments

VIDEO

[worstever]

[Wash has his butterfly knife out, idly doing tricks while he replies. Because when he's smug, oh, boy, does he take it to new assholish heights.]

Having some trouble over there?

VIDEO

[moneylogues]

[After finally getting free of Locus - stabbing was involved - Felix responds.]

Oh, we got it all worked out, thanks.

Video

[followorders]

[An hour later, Felix finally leaves his room but not without leaving him with a little present. The video feed suddenly turns on as Felix's communication device is ingeniously placed right beside his field med-kit showing Locus in the middle of bandaging his arm where his ex- partner stabbed him soon after the post. His engineer shoulder plate is off on his right side, showing dark skin through the gauze he's using to clean the wound when he suddenly hears Washington's reply repeated for him courtesy of---.]

Felix.

[A displeased tone right before his armoured glove covers the screen hiding his shoulder.]

Action

[followorders]

[The door is thrown open and Locus deposits his partner on the doormat.]

Stay out.

[An order.]

Action

[moneylogues]

[Felix never has been good at following orders. He's back on his feet in less than a second, already maneuvering himself towards the door in such a way that Locus can't just close it.]

Yeaaaah, no.

You can't just kick me out.

video

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Awww, but I wanted to see the throw-y tricks!

video

[moneylogues]

Right, see? See? I was doing something important here!

No reason some TOTAL DOUCHEBAG [just yelling that over his shoulder, because he knows you can hear him, Locus] has to ruin everything!

[worstever]

... yeah, how about I show you instead?

[JUST GOING TO NIP THAT ONE IN THE BUD. She's a blue Felix you can't have her.]

[followorders]

[An hour later, Felix leaves his room but he's not done with him, not by a long shot. After stabbing him soon after the post, Felix leaves him with a little present. The video feed suddenly turns on as Felix's communication device is ingeniously placed right beside his field med-kit and meant to show Locus in the middle of bandaging his arm where his ex- partner stabbed him soon after the post. However, he's already been caught red-handed once and by the time the second reply comes through Locus has the camera facing the wall so only a voice comes through.

He meant to ignore whoever came through, but the response so unexpected he answers without thinking.]

Don't be absurd.

text;

[maime]

[Maine had not been paying attention to his phone at all but when Wash started flipping knives around he of course had to investigate what was going on with that. He's glad he did.]

don't have very good taste in pets, Locus
[Because that's how you're treating Felix right now. Like a misbehaving cat.]

text;

[moneylogues]

hey. hey pal.

fuck you. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Audio

[followorders]

[After the first two posts that showed up while he was bandaging his arm, Locus "gives" Felix his device back hoping to stop his little game in its tracks. What he didn't expect was for Felix to forward him the messages he was getting.]

..............

[And if only it wasn't his precious Agent Maine, Locus might have ignored it but it is Maine and Locus can't help but hit audio to respond.]

He's non-refundable.

[So, you see. He's kind of stuck with him. By CHOICE Locus! By CHOICE!!]

video

[glitterateur]

So was the advice not to do the knife throwing in the house?

video

[moneylogues]

The advice was going to be the proper way to actually throw a knife, but, ha, apparently my dear partner suddenly cares an awful lot about property damage.

Which is stupid.

audio

[followorders]

[Felix has resorted to forwarding all messages to his anti-social partner just to get under his skin and Locus has been doing well in ignoring them.... that is, until he hears this one.]

Yes.

[He can't help but answer, audio of course, considering he's currently bandaging up an arm that his dear old partner stabbed not too long ago.]

video;

[ursawhiner]

I could use some knife tricks.

video;

[moneylogues]

Thank you, at least some people actually appreciate what I was trying to do here. It would've been very informative if I hadn't been so rudely interrupted.

video;

[followorders]

.....

[Felix keeps forwarding all messages, knowing he doesn't like children, especially the questioning sort and when this message comes through it's a perfect illustration as to why.]

Tricks are for children.

[Yes, Locus. Be standoffish. That works wonders for your image. Also, Felix is a child. That is also an insult against his partner there, probably due to the whole stabbing incident he just bandaged up courtesy of said child.]

[ Video ]

[enucleation]

Throwing knives inside a house doesn't sound like a smart thing to do.

[ Video ]

[moneylogues]

Yeah, maybe if you don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Except, oh wait, I do. So it's not a big deal, he's just overreacting.

[ Video ]

[followorders]

[Because Felix keeps forwarding all messages thinking it's amusing to swamp a very busy and socially inept Locus with all these responses. Locus has mostly ignored them, but this he automatically answers without a thought.]

It's not.

[video]

[goingnova]

[...wow, her 'boss' is badass]

...um. What did you warn him about?

[video]

[moneylogues]

Apparently I'm not supposed to "damage his quarters".

[She wasn't even talking to you, Felix.]

[video]

[followorders]

[Finally! Someone who appreciates him!]

To stop making holes in the walls.

Voice

[buildsfriends]

You should put a picture on the wall! Bad guys in movies always throw knives at people's pictures.

Voice

[followorders]

[Of all the responses Felix forwards to him, this one he considers below the belt.]

Do they?

[He'll humor you, for now.]