VIDEO; a public service announcement

[glitterateur]

[Aw, look, it’s a cute little preteen! And she is definitely not in jail. Though she does look very serious (in her very serious sweater) as she addresses the camera.]

Hi! For anybody I don’t know, my name’s Mabel! Mabel Pines. And today I have good news and also bad news that has some good news? The totally good news is that I’m doing sweater commissions! So if anybody needs a last minute Hanukkah gift or something for Christmas or any other holiday, just let me know. All I need is a size and what design you want and you’ve got it! My rates are very reasonable.

Now the bad news! So... people might have seen that video on the network last week? The creepy one where the guy who looks like my brother was all like today I’m gonna walk on glass and freak everybody out? Well-- long story short but that’s actually not Dipper! That’s a demon. His name’s Bill and he’s pretty evil and also he can take over people’s bodies. [She looks off camera for a second before continuing.]

Which is all kinds of freaky, right? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! There're ways to tell if you're dealing with him or not.

[She holds up a pair of visual aids to the screen. Marvel at this 13 year old's artistic skills.]

And I’ve got these in helpful pamphlet form, too, for anybody who wants. See, I told you there was more good news! So, just to recap-- creepy wrong pupils is bad, triangles are extra bad, and please don’t just punch Dipper or anyone else you might suspect before you check for the warning signs.

--oh and if you’re gonna call us probably don’t call Stan first? It’s bad if his communicator thing goes off during one of his [Airquotes:] “business deals.” It scares the pugs.

[Mabel gives the camera a thumbs up!! Before turning it off.]

Comments

[ursawhiner]

Oh, gotcha! We'll have to ask great uncle Ford, but I'm pretty sure he won't mind.

[Charlie will just have to deal with Ford's paranoia firsthand.]

[animated]

I think Mabel's talking to him. We'll see where it goes.

How are you doing, by the way?

[ursawhiner]

I'm not the one walking on glass, so I'm fine. Right now I'm more worried about Ken.

[animated]

Wait, so this demon guy just has like a spare copy of your body lying around that he can use whenever he wants or what?

... And I know. I think some time out of the house will be good for him.

[ursawhiner]

Seems like it? He's not actually possessing me, and we're not sure if he can possess other people so the Porters probably messed with his powers.

It's kind of nice having him only a couple doors down. Not that I mind visiting you guys.

[animated]

Leave it to the Porter to royally screw things up.

It's probably best if you all keep your distance for a while, to be honest.

[ursawhiner]

--D'you mean from Ken or...?

[Of course Dipper's mind jumps to the worst conclusion possible.]

[animated]

What? Oh my gosh, no. I meant from Nonah 005. Like, the actual house.

[ursawhiner]

Oh. Is this because of Tetsuo?

[animated]

Yeah. Honestly, I don't know what's going on between him and Kaneda on any given day, so for now staying away is probably better.

[ursawhiner]

Will you and Bull be okay? I mean, you have to live with both of them.

[animated]

We'll be fine. Tetsuo at least somewhat tolerates me, I think, and Bull's pretty durable.

[ursawhiner]

Okay. And we'll protect Ken in Heropa.

[animated]

You guys be careful, okay? It's bad enough you've got this demon problem.

[ursawhiner]

...It might be better that we're not visiting you guys for awhile. Just make sure to check the eyes. Especially if it's me.

[animated]

Yeah, Mabel told me what to look for.

Don't worry, we can go back to having movie nights one of these days.

[ursawhiner]

You guys still need to let us know what you put in your popcorn. It's seriously way better than whenever we make ours at home.

[animated]

Oh, no way. I'll have you know that's a closely-guarded wizarding secret.

[ursawhiner]

I knew it had to be magic.

[animated]

Perhaps one day I'll tell you my secrets, but today is not that day.

[ursawhiner]

Someday.

[animated]

Maybe I won't tell you so you have to keep coming over for popcorn.

[ursawhiner]

I'm sure we'll be able to reverse engineer it eventually.