VIDEO; a public service announcement

[glitterateur]

[Aw, look, it’s a cute little preteen! And she is definitely not in jail. Though she does look very serious (in her very serious sweater) as she addresses the camera.]

Hi! For anybody I don’t know, my name’s Mabel! Mabel Pines. And today I have good news and also bad news that has some good news? The totally good news is that I’m doing sweater commissions! So if anybody needs a last minute Hanukkah gift or something for Christmas or any other holiday, just let me know. All I need is a size and what design you want and you’ve got it! My rates are very reasonable.

Now the bad news! So... people might have seen that video on the network last week? The creepy one where the guy who looks like my brother was all like today I’m gonna walk on glass and freak everybody out? Well-- long story short but that’s actually not Dipper! That’s a demon. His name’s Bill and he’s pretty evil and also he can take over people’s bodies. [She looks off camera for a second before continuing.]

Which is all kinds of freaky, right? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! There're ways to tell if you're dealing with him or not.

[She holds up a pair of visual aids to the screen. Marvel at this 13 year old's artistic skills.]

And I’ve got these in helpful pamphlet form, too, for anybody who wants. See, I told you there was more good news! So, just to recap-- creepy wrong pupils is bad, triangles are extra bad, and please don’t just punch Dipper or anyone else you might suspect before you check for the warning signs.

--oh and if you’re gonna call us probably don’t call Stan first? It’s bad if his communicator thing goes off during one of his [Airquotes:] “business deals.” It scares the pugs.

[Mabel gives the camera a thumbs up!! Before turning it off.]

Comments

[oathkeeping]

That is fun. You get to sit around with no one telling you what to do.

[glitterateur]

Why sit when you could do other stuff! There's so much to do all the time, if nobody's around to tell you what to do-- you can do anything. You can have sleepovers and play games and throw stuff off the roof!

[oathkeeping]

Why would you throw stuff off the roof? That would break your stuff.

[glitterateur]

Oh, you don't throw breakable stuff! You use pinecones and stuff.

[oathkeeping]

What for?

[glitterateur]

Just to see how far you can throw and try to knock things over. You know, just-- fun stuff! It doesn't mean anything, it's just fun.

[oathkeeping]

Huh. [He's skeptical, but...she seems awfully sure about it.] Maybe I'll try that sometime. It might be more fun to do than to hear about.

[glitterateur]

Probably! Make sure you do it with friends, though. Otherwise it's gonna be less fun.

[oathkeeping]

Yeah, definitely. It'd look pretty weird if it was just me.

[glitterateur]

People might ask weird questions and try to arrest you. If you need someone to show you the ropes or your friends are busy, let me know! I'll give you a crash course in summertime fun.

[oathkeeping]

[That really makes him wonder even more about what kind of summers she's had.]

I will, I promise. Since you're the expert.

[glitterateur]

[Incredibly, incredibly weird ones.]

That's me! What's your name?

[oathkeeping]

I'm Roxas. I live in Heropa.

[glitterateur]

Me too! [Mabel honey you're supposed to not be giving out personal info on the network right now.] So if you ever get bored just come by my house-- it's number 18, you can't miss it!

[Because it's the one where someone mixed glitter in with the housepaint and went to town on the front.]

[oathkeeping]

[Ehhhh the supervillains probably won't hunt down goofy kids...right?]

I'm over in #15. You can come here too, if you want to play video games or something. We do that a lot.