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[ Here's Kitty, wearing a smile and giving a little wave to the camera. ]

Hullo. It's Kitty here. I was just thinking about how it's about time for us to get another wave of new people - and then I remembered how last December, we didn't get any, and then I realized that I've now been here for over a year and that was just mad to think about.

It's easy to focus on all the horrid things that happen to us here. Because there are so many horrid things - that's true. The war with the Soviets is just terrible, and sometimes you just want to take the President by his shoulders and shake him until he stops - and those groups that detest us, they've made things a bit hard at times, as well. [ There's a little sideways twist to her lips as she says that; that's a grotesque understatement from a girl who had quite the history with one of those groups that detest us. ]

But it's always easy to remember the bad above the good. That's how the human brain works, isn't it - it's designed to remember hurts so that it can avoid those hurts in the future, which isn't bad, but which means that we sometimes lose track of the fact that there is so much more kindness than cruelty in the world. So I was just sitting and remembering all the good that's come to me over the past year.

Because this year, in this world, it really has been filled with impossible goodness. When I first came here, I was so scared, but there were people who took me in and helped me and protected me until I got a little more courage. And now here I am. I've made so many friends, amongst them someone I thought was my direst enemy. I saw people whom I'd never done any good for - I saw them forgive me when I was cruel and wicked and spiteful towards them, saw them risk themselves to help me and to save me.

And I've lived amongst the people of this world, who have been so good to me. So good. I've made friends amongst them, too. I've been kept on at work when I really have been the worst employee, when I've been unreliable because of my other obligations. And we've been allowed to speak our minds, speak freely. We've been allowed to travel far and wide. We've been supported in everything we do, which is far more kindness than has ever been extended a group of refugees at any time in any world. We've lived at peace. We've lived well.

So -

[ She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. ]

I'd thought - if I could trouble you all - that we could spend a little bit of time, all together, remembering the good turns that people have done us.

Talk about whomever you'd like. Talk about the people who have been kind and helped us when they didn't have to. Talk about the wealth that is the other people we know here. And I thought we could talk about the natives, too - I was thinking I might put together a little something, a few quotes, that we could pass along to the natives of this world, so that we know that we appreciate them. Let's take some time to overcome our brains, and remember the good - focus on the good and remember how kind the world is to us. How well we live. How strong and brave and honest we can be here.

[ Translation: 'All of this is a somewhat underhanded but well-intentioned PR thing that will let me package some stuff to make the natives less furious at us in an ongoing attempt to avert all-out war between us and this world.' ]

Anyway. There's that, if you can spare some time. Oh, and, erm - come by Krakatoa, while I've got your attention. Best club in town, bar none. And the employees are simply gorgeous.

[ A quick, half-sheepish grin, and then she gives a little nod and waves her way off. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I could say the same thing about you, really. And yet, they've still got you working there!

I don't fight with people. I stop fights. And I say nice things, too. You're just nasty and - and you put out fights about as effectively as a man throwing gasoline on a grease fire, don't you.

You are such a hypocrite.

I am not a hypocrite! I do stop fights! And didn't you just hear everything I said? How nice it was?

No, you're a hypocrite because you say you don't fight with people and then instantly pick a fight with me as soon as I comment. And I did hear everything you said, and what I heard was Kitty Jones once again shoving her crusade for the downtrodden in people's faces—only this time, it's buried under Christmas schmaltz.

I didn't say a thing about Christmas. I don't care about Christmas.

I was speaking metaphorically. You might not have discovered this because your world is apparently lacking in culture, but come December, everybody starts talking about love thy neighbor, peace on Earth, faithful friends who are dear to us, think of the nice things and if we all just treated everybody a little bit better there'd be no more wars, blah blah blah. Your diatribe fits the mold.

[ She flushes. But, scrappy as ever, she rises to it: ]

Is that so? Well, then I'm proud to be part of that tradition. Because all of that is lovely. The bad part of it is that everyone's not saying it constantly all year long.

[ a looooong pause before ]

Right, you obviously don't know that much about the tradition if you think it's a good thing. Do you want godawful Christmas sentiment via Paul McCartney or godawful Christmas sentiment via shoes? I'm sure even you've heard of Dickens, so we're going to let that one slide.

I got told about Dickens, yeah. A Tale of Two Cities was brilliant. I found Oliver Twist pretty unrealistic. And Great Expectations was rubbish. Anyway, though, whether it's McCarthy or shoes or whatever that are talking about those concepts, it doesn't matter. They're still good concepts. Peace on earth is something to root for at any time of year.

In that case, picture Christmas Carol but even more blatant. [ he starts scrolling through his phone while talking because he has the opportunity to inflict terrible Christmas songs on Kitty, he's gonna do this. ]

I've got to agree with you on Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations, though. Have you read Edwin Drood yet?

[ Suspiciously: ]

I've not read A Christmas Carol yet. Or Edwin Drood. What are they about? Actually, no, just tell me what Edwin Drood is about; I can guess that the other one's about Christmas.

[ still scrolling, still scrolling, completely innocent here... ]

It's a murder mystery. Somebody's murdered Edwin Drood a day or so after he breaks off his engagement. Dickens died before the book was finished, but my money's on Jaspers. He's—

[ and then Dorian cuts himself off as he just lights up like a kid at...well, Christmas. ]

Oh my God. This America has it. I'm just thrilled. I've never heard this song in the UK, but I did some traveling in America a few years ago around December and I kept hearing this song on the radio, it almost drove me mad. Anyway, this is the sort of dreck that your post makes people think of.

[ and then before Kitty protests, Dorian starts playing the literal worst Christmas song ever. I ain't even sorry. ]

[ Kitty, though, only gives it like ten seconds before she wrinkles her nose and interrupts: ]

Right, yeah, tinkly music. Can you just summarize it and save a bit of time?

I'm serious, you've got to listen to the whole thing. The bridge itself is astonishing.

But I'm already bored!

Listen to the damn song and I'll stop bothering you.

[ because he wants to just be an ass. ]

How long is it.

Three and a half minutes, not that long at all.

[ A groan of impatience. ]

That's not long? Videos are best if they're like fifteen seconds. Thirty at most.

Vine has ruined you and your generation. It's a song, of course it's going to be three minutes.

Yeah, but you're making me pay full attention to it! Like, can I at least multitask? And don't say my generation, it's not like I was born in the same year as most people.

Fine, you can do something else but at least listen to it. Happy?

Yes, all right. So what am I supposed to be listening for? It's lyrically stupid?

Cloying sentimentality and seasonal wishes at the expense of making a valid point. So, your diatribe.

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