maskormenace | video;

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[And here we have the Iron Bull, holding his communicator like he's taking a selfie. But it's a video feed instead. He's... out in the wilderness somewhere. Dragging a tree in one hand. There also happens to be mistletoe strung between his horns.]

[Behind him is Kaneda. Holding the other end of the tree, covered liberally in pine needles and bits of pinecones and other dead leaves. He looks like he's having a bad time.]

So. I heard you're supposed to bring trees inside for this holiday crap.

[He shakes the tree in his hand. Unfortunately for Kaneda. Who gets jerked to one side, swearing liberally at Bull.]

Check this one out. We got it all on our own. No one else was even out here!

[That's because you're in the forest, Bull.]

((ooc: Kaneda and Bull will both be responding.))

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Holy fuck.

It's like talking to Solas.

Was I not supposed to point it out?

No, see. You're supposed to either laugh, or play along, or tell me to quit it.

Or if you're into it, reciprocate.

"Mating rituals" is a thing for those nature shows Ken put on to keep Dalish from eating his toes.

[That finally gets him to set the pen down, raising a hand in an apologetic gesture.]

I didn't mean to cause offense. I'm simply... ah. I suppose you could say I'm rusty when it comes to the necessary social cues. Different dimensions, different customs. You understand.

I'm not offended. Just... sort of surprised a normal damn person misses shit like that. Makes me wonder if I'm getting rusty.

I'm sure people find your chest very enticing.

Take a real good look, then.

Thoughts?

It's very... large. Personally I find the horns more impressive.

Works for me.

Go on.

Is the size itself typical? The shape? Your name suggests they're unusual enough to be remarkable... though I suppose it's possible the word 'bull' carries a different implication than it does here.

Well, shit you just ruined it...

[However, the Iron fucking Bull is not to be daunted.]

Hey, if you want to talk size, there's better things to talk than just my rack.

Consider this a starting point, then.

[Did it go over his head or is he just redirecting the conversation? Who knows.]

[FACE IN HANDS...]

Oh for fuck's sake...

[Ford raises an eyebrow, then simply shrugs, picking his pen back up off the table. He clicks it twice, smoothing out the page he was working on. His concentration is back on the book, though he glances up at Bull occasionally as he speaks.]

Honestly, I'm more interested in speaking about where you're from. Your experience there. Mabel tells me you have significant experience dealing with the... unusual. Both benign and more hostile. I've been trying to gain some additional perspective on a situation we're handling.

You mean with the creepy fucking demon crap. Right?

[Okay, no one ever said the Iron Bull was going to be subtle where creepy demons and innocent kids were involved.]

Bill Cipher. Yes.

Right.

So.

Where is it, how do we kill it?

I don't know.

[It's an answer to both questions, and he sounds as displeased as he looks at having to give it. Ford pushes his glasses up his forehead, rubbing at the spot between his eyes like he can feel a tension headache forming.]

If things here apply to him as they do to us, we can't. Or rather, there's no point. It would be a temporary solution at best. The best we can do is work preventively, but the methods I know of are... unreliable.

It's a demon. It can't be the same. They die, they go back to wherever the hell it is they came from.

Not with him. Not normally, and not with whatever this "Porter" may have changed when it saw fit to bring him in.

[A sigh, before he finally readjusts his glasses and folds his hands neatly off-camera.]

Bill is different than what you know. Demon is more of a term of convenience than one of accuracy. Something people will easily understand. His true nature is much more... ambiguous.

Yeah, uh huh. Okay. So...

You don't know how to kill it, is what I'm getting out of this.

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