maskormenace | VIDEO ★ 003

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VIDEO ★ 003

[ Why look! It’s a professionally edited video directed by April Ludgate uploaded to the network! Boy oh boy! Golly gee! Let’s all watch!

It starts out with a shot of two boys, dirty and in worn-out clothes as they squat in an alley watching imPorts and natives walk past them. It’s kind of weird how they aren’t looking at the camera at all; it’s just these somber, million mile stares when a voice starts. ]

There are tons of orphans in Nonah and De Chima, but today you can help two turn their Christmas dreams into a reality.

[ The video then fades into another scene of the boys walking along before cutting to a familiar face. A song begins in the background from a solo guitar. ]

Hi. I’m Dick Grayson, and for just a few dollars spent, you can help. [ Then it shows Bucky Barnes and his fellow orphan kids doing some avant-garde staring at anything but the camera. It’s some heavy shit here guys as Manolo Sanchez comes into view strumming along and singing something akin to Sarah McLachlan and her sad ass songs. ] These boys need to know that there is still good to be found in these trying times. With enough donations, we can help them. By renting a helicopter and flying them through the city they belong to.

[ Yep, you heard right. These kids want to do a fly over their city during Christmas. Heart warming, isn’t it? Now Bucky is holding their hands as they all look deeply into the camera. Manolo, though, he’s still singing his heart out behind them. You are doing a bang up job there, sir! ]

Will you be the one to make their Christmas wish come true? Donate today.

Please send monetary donations or whole helicopters to this number: 1-800-555-ORFN. Any questions will be forwarded to April Ludgate. [ So basically don’t ask. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[thanks buck]

That's totally not my point! It's not like YOU put it in a million newspapers or anything. I just figured that was the kinda thing that you'd. Y'know. -I dunno, like it was a tier five friendship thing. I didn't know you were tier five with this dude, that's all.

Edited 2015-12-20 06:41 (UTC)

[ Dick feels a little pang of sympathy at that. He's genuinely sorry Wally's upset about it, and god knows Dick has gotten jealous over the idea of other people being as close to Wally as he is. So he gets it — that doesn't make it okay from either of them. ]

It's not tier five if you can google it. He only just made the connection between me and Bruce. Look, I mentioned I used to be in the circus when I was a kid — lots of people know that. I'm proud of it. And the orphan thing came up because we were talking about volunteering back at the Thanksgiving swear-in. So that's something we have in common.

[ He frowns, shrugging stiffly. What Bucky doesn't know about him could fill a library and wreck a friendship, probably. ]

We're not tier five. But even if we were, like, hypothetically: so what? I mean, it's not like the more you like Jaime, the less you like me, right? [ ... right? ]

['Upset' is a strong word for this ginger tantrum storm.]

Dude you can't exactly Google it here. And- I'm not here to police what you share with other people. [just get all puffed up about it apparently] Besides, you know Jaime. He's over all the time, I want you guys to be friends...

I just thought it was- I dunno. I thought it was different here. That I wouldn't have to not know about who Dick Grayson's friends are because I'm not supposed to know Dick Grayson. [okay so maybe SOME of the feelings are legitimate]

It's not like I have that many, [ Dick mutters, but it's still... yeah. He kinda gets that. ] You make it sound like I've been sneaking around making other friends behind your back or something.

Well? How hard is it to tell me 'I have a new buddy I'm going to ride in a helicopter with'?

Assuming that this guy who knows some other version of me in the future actually supplies us with a helicopter. Which I really need to look into further. ... It's been a weird month, Walls, I don't know.

[ Wally, meet Midnighter. Yeah, that'll be fun. ]

I'm gonna be honest, I really didn't think you'd care. You're like, everyone's best friend. It seems like you're always doing things with other people, you know, or running off in the middle of the night because someone texted you. So I didn't think it was a big deal. I mean, you don't tell me every time you do something fun with somebody else.

[Wally has to bite his tongue very hard on the 'running off in the middle of the night' thing just because it's not his to share. Thank goodness this isn't a face to face conversation, 'cause he'd probably have come out and said it.]

I'm not everybody's best friend dude, I'm your best friend. [pause] Maybe Jaime's here best friend, but he's got best friends from back home too. They're just not here right now.

UGGGH look I'm not like- Okay. Whatever. I don't want you to tell me whenever you do something with someone else. I just don't know this guy and he's like, throwing the orphan card around and I thought it was more personal to you than it is, that's it. I just got mad at him because you don't do this kind of thing by yourself, but I dunno. Maybe you just didn't. Have anybody to do it with who'd understand. Or something. [Wally knows his home life is kittens and roses compared to Dick's. That's never been a secret. They just don't talk about the comparisons very much.]

The circumstances are personal, but the facts are just— like—

[ Dick huffs, rubbing a hand over his face. ]

It isn't something you can understand. But look, you're right, this whole thing got out of control. It's not like this is the kind of thing I do on my own, dude, we just kind of... you know... leaped before we looked.

[UNCOMFORTABLE FIDGETING.]

...I don't want people thinking you're some kind of jerk. [Wally is of the opinion that it's 100% Bucky's fault that they both look like jerks here (also it's his opinion that they look like jerks).]

I don't either!

[ Whines! THEY DO. THEY DO LOOK LIKE JERKS. ]

I think mostly everyone just thinks it's funny. Which is good, because I'm getting a stomachache.

[Lowers his voice just in case Mr. Thirsty is back from the kitchen.]

The important thing is- I mean, I just- Are you at least having fun hanging out with this guy? I mean, he's kind of a huge tool and not nearly as awesome as you are, but...

Edited 2015-12-28 17:43 (UTC)

No one's as awesome as I am, Walls. It significantly limits my friend pool. And yet I soldier on...

[ And quickly, he taps out a text response on his comm. ]

I don't think he has any other friends here.
He's like the world's youngest WWII vet and I think he's been through a lot and
I want him to trust me. I want to help.

[ Shrug. ] Yeah. He's been a lot of fun. I mean, he has no chill whatsoever and he makes fun of me for being short even though he only has a few inches on me... so what I'm saying is you'd probably like him if you met under better circumstances.

Except apparently he hates Robin.
Things are complicated.

[Absorbing all of that...ugh. Yeah, he's had that 'friend hates my alter ego' problem. It ain't fun.

Also shock and surprise, this guy has no friends.]

Whatever. I'm not the guy who's gonna say you shouldn't have fun. If you gotta shop in Macy's instead of Ralph Lauren, then that's what you gotta do.

[ From the kitchen: Macy's is "the shit!" ]

STOP EAVESDROPPING YOU SCRUB

OR LET ME KNOW AHEAD OF TIME SO I CAN DISS YOU BETTER

[ From the kitchen: Well learn your damn department store history then and it'd have worked! ]

[ oh my god. screeching teenagers. ]

Aren't I the Ralph Lauren friend here? I don't habitually hang out with the rich and famous. And don't break your cover for Macy's, Bucky, learn some self-control!

[ #priorities ]

Excuse you! I'm the Ralph Lauren! [saying it wrong] And make your jerk friend stop eavesdropping on us!

[ Off screen: This is my house, Jack! ]

Oh my god. Hang on, I'll be back in a minute.

[ He is going to go have this conversation on the front porch, you loser. STOMPING OUT AND CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. PRIVATE MEANS PRIVATE. ]

Seriously, Wally, I know he's kind of being a jerk [ and he's wisely not mentioning that Wally can be a champion jerk himself ] but you're acting like you're being replaced or something. What's "instead of" supposed to mean, dude?

I don't even remember what you're talking about. When did I say 'instead of?' [IF HE WAS THERE HE WOULD BE MAKING NASTY FACES AT BUCKY THROUGH THE WINDOW]

"Macy's instead of Ralph Lauren." Like I'm replacing you. You know that's ridiculous, right? I could never.

What? No. Dude! No, I know you're not, I'm not st- [whoops better not say that] I mean, I know better. I dunno dude, I just don't like him. I don't know what to tell you. And I was wrong about the thing, the sharing thing.

You don't have to like him. [ Isn't that what Wally had said about Gogo? ] He's difficult. And abrasive. I'll tell him to shut it if he gets out of line.

[ He shrugs. ]

I know I'm not as easy to make friends with as you are, and dude, you're still the only person I've ever told— anything, really. [ Dick's cheeks go a little red, but he manages not to fidget. ] I get jealous sometimes. Of the people you tell your secrets to, and of how easy it is for you to do that. He might be my friend, Walls, but he doesn't know me at all. So, I mean, I get it, if it bothered you? But it's seriously the last thing you should be worried about.

[Robin having his number so easily has Wally's gut uncomfortably twisted, and yet he STILL feels better.]

Yeah. ...okay, yeah. And- y'know you can talk to me about anything, right? Even stuff I won't get. I'll just shut up and listen, if that's all you need.

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