VIDEO ★ 004

[sidecars]

So... uh... I'm not as good at speeches as my partner is. They just kinda seep out of his pores smelling like American freedom right off the damn bat. It's pretty impressive actually.

[ Okay, already he's losing his train of thought. bear with him, folks. ]

But I feel like I have to say something to the imPorts worried and ready to fight. I am too, and I have. I've been north and I've fought with and against Russia. And let me tell ya, it's a lot easier when you are with them.

Look, they fight like they got nothing to lose. And that's hard to squash with an army, let alone all by yourselves. Seriously, there's a reason Napoleon and ol' Uncle Adolph got a few steps in Mother Russia and said "To hell with this!" Honest. They definitely said that...

So, I mean, I know some... or... a lot aren't too trusting of the government, but they have the resources to keep you safer than on your own.

And I can see the eyes rolling! [ He's pointing at you asshole right now! HE SEES YOU! ] but Russian winter's nothing to get cocky about. So please consider letting the military foot the bill to keep ya warm and fed. Don't let pride get you killed.

Our brothers and sisters don't want to return home—and they will!—to fallen vigilantes. They wanna come home to the imPorts' united forces kicking Russia's Commie butt back to Santa's workshop. Yeah! That far!

I won't convince some of you, but there's plenty of you civilians with new powers and new egos and axes to grind and no experience. Use that anger smartly, please. Help the military in any way you can!

[ Then he kinda goes silent. ]

Uhmm, okay, thank you? Yeah...

[ Oookay, he's gonna turn this off now. ]

Comments

private; video

[rassera]

You didn't see my eyes rolling you star spangled bastard.

You guessed.

private; video

[sidecars]

I saw it in my mind's eye clearly like you were right in front of me. It's the power of Freedom!!

private; video

[rassera]

I'm not asking the military for anything.


I'll ask RISE. But not the military.

[resipiscent]

[He wasn't going to say anything but then Bucky pointed out the Russian winter and he. Has to know.]

... How cold.

[sidecars]

Gee, I didn't have a thermometer with me last time, but cold. Let me look it up...

[ It's amazing what you bozos can find out about how scary Russia is with your phone! ]

Well in some parts of Russia today it is 4 degrees! That's below freezing I hope you know. Almost as cold as the top of Mount Everest.

Are any of you guys listening to this? Please spread that fun fact around if you would. Thanks!

[resipiscent]

[WOW OKAY RUDE]

I don't have a frame of reference for this stuff.

[kendo_taisho]

[It's quite a way to say it, but Bucky's got a point. Heiji's read enough history to know that Russia isn't a laughing matter, and enough about people starting wars to know that even though their friends are in space, Russia itself is going to be a target.

Nothing like getting information from the source, after all.]

Dunno how many're gonna listen, but it needed t'be said. I've already heard talk of people gearin' up for action.

[sidecars]

What action? No one knows what's goin' on yet, except people're missin' and Russia's declared War. [ HUFF HUFF! Sorry, his Jersey accent comes out when he gets all steamed up. ] People need to stop tryin' to be goddamn half-cocked heroes!

[kendo_taisho]

[They can be accent buddies, though it takes Heiji a minute to understand what he's saying. Why does American English have to be so weird sometimes?]

Doesn't mean people aren't gettin' ready to move. I've seen people act with less info. [Usually resulting in someone getting killed, which he hopes they can avoid.]

What about you? Gonna join with this country's military, or just use their info when they've got it? [He doesn't sound like he's going to judge either decision.]

video;

[biteouttagrimes]

I'm with 'em. Don't trust 'em. Don't like this world. Always said all along that we were gonna be their war tools, thrown right on the front line. But I'm with 'em if they got the resources to help me get my son back.

[ Carl Grimes is literally the only person in the world who could make Rick decide to side with the military. ]

video;

[sidecars]

[ There is the biggest sigh of relief from Bucky. Thank you! Someone understands! ]

I'm really really glad to hear this, you've got no idea! I know I'm... well, really biased, being a soldier and all, but I am trying to think of the best outcome for minimal casualties and... [ unfortunately ] I think this is it.

Which one's your son?

video;

[biteouttagrimes]

They'll have the intelligence an' the weapons. They've been fightin' this war since before we got here. It is the best outcome for minimal casualties.

[ He's definitely not going to argue with Bucky's logic. ]

My son's Carl. Carl Grimes. You know 'im?

voice;

[unwiseheart]

Eh, depends on where they go. [ Says one Russian to the commie puncher, although he's awfully deadpan about it. ] Probably won't be Sochi, though. Maybe go into detail about their fingers freezing and snapping off.

[ Bit of an exaggeration, but... ]

voice;

[sidecars]

Actually I was gonna regale them with the story about the soldier who took a piss and his dick froze. Got snapped right off by a Ruskie.

Very sad. Works well on the new recruits!

voice;

[unwiseheart]

[ Okay, that gets a snort of laughter. ]

That absolutely did not happen. Your recruits believed that?

video;

[amadaman]

[Ken decides only to pick the things that he really cares about.]

What are some things that can be done to survive Russian winters without proper heating?

video;

[sidecars]

Oh that's an easy fix! Ready for it, kid?

Stay home! If you don't have the money or resources to get properly insulated then you shouldn't be wandering God knows where in a subzero environment.

[amadaman]

Well what if that's not an option..? What do you need, then?

video > audio

[medalsome]

Hey, you said that thing about Russian winters and it got me wondering, is there a way we could start getting people condition-trained for it? Like, have them training in stealth and survival in a similar climate like... like...

[And Joaquin switches over already from video to audio because he needs his comm to look up something on the internet. He finds it after a mess of peck-typing and gives an exclamation of discovery.]

Ah! Canada! Could people maybe train in Canada to get ready for rescue efforts, do you think?

video > audio

[sidecars]

Well... You know, I guess it's possible. But I don't think Canada is just gonna open her arms to vigilante groups looking to invade Russia. That kinda looks bad on their part.

Now, if it was sanctioned through military training or something... Maybe? Gotta say, it's been uhh sixty plus years for me, so I don't really know where the Army does more extreme environment training these days.

just sticking with audio for now

[medalsome]

You don't think they'd allow it even knowing that Russia kidnapped a bunch of imPorts without reason?

But I guess that's true... It'll probably have to be through the official US military, but I don't know... You would think registered imPorts could probably get permission... somehow!

text - ID reads kid flash

[runningstart]

are you seriously encouraging civilians to sign up with the military to fight them dirty commies

text;

[sidecars]

What? No! I don't want any civilians rushing off to Russia!!
But plenty of them are
As you are witnessing from these dumb calls to arms on the network
If they are going to put themselves at risk then they are better off working with the military

Just who are you and what do you have lodged up your butt?

VIDEO.

[jyuced]

All right, all right! Yes sir, great advice! [ He even salutes! Damn if he isn't enthusiastic. ] After all, after all, fifty is a whole lot of people! How else would we get them all back?

Are you coming too?

VIDEO.

[sidecars]

[ Wow, you are so enthusiastic it's a little terrifying. ]

I've seen bigger grabs. [ Bitter much. ] I'm going where ever the Army thinks it's best.

[ Then he pauses and looks this guy over again. ]

Just how old are you, kid?