BACKDATED to the 18th; TEXT, comm ID "Spider-Man"

[shutterbugged]

Funny thing is, I spent most of last year counting down to my 5th imPort anniversary, and in the end I missed it by a good month and a half. Guess that's what comes of having a significant life event close to the holidays.

[ Spider-Man red versus Goblin green… totally counts as festive, right? Of course it does. ]

You gotta love the human -- sorry, the sapient -- capacity for adaptation. Forgetting the day of my own kidnapping.

But for the sake of you patient souls who suffered through my existential moping last year -- how many of you are still here, anyway? roll call! -- let's skip it this time and go with an icebreaker for the newbies.

Two truths and a lie. For those of you who come from universes without awkward getting-to-know-you party games, (a) congratulations, (b) it's just what it sounds like. I'll start:

1. I once picked a fight with a swarm of communist bees.
2. I used to have six arms but a giant lizard helped me remove them.
3. My car once tried to murder me.

Take your guesses.

Comments

[fistofthejoestar]

I suppose that could be said for any situation, though. Loved ones can make anything bearable.

Wrong again, unfortunately! Although it's only true in this world thanks to how time flows. The lie in the second one is that I never had time to write or publish a paper.

[shutterbugged]

2 is the truth, yo, that's what the "bzzzt!" meant. Curt helped me out, you can ask him if he ever shows up here.

[ Again, technically. ]

But since it's now your turn by default...
3 is so bizarre it just might be true
2 intrigues me
1 sounds more like a Herc thing, but then again it's not like Thor is a bearded redhead who flies around in a chariot pulled by goats
Hmm.

I'm going to try 1 anyway.

[notyourfathersosborn]

I believe you. I was just explaining my reasoning behind thinking that might be the lie.

1 is the truth. Cap died in a battle against Loki, and Thor turned the last of his lifeforce into a shield shaped constellation.

Or so a certain Spider-Girl tells me.

Try again?

[shutterbugged]

Curses, foiled again!

Hang on, a member of the discerning public is requesting my help in a matter of a missing pooch, back in a bit

[112ounces]

really? that's the lie?

ok.

1.) ate 112ounces of pudding in one go
2.) i found a music box on the side of the road
3.) i drank soy milk and i like it

[timecapture]

Go out and do good!

And take pictures.

1/2

[cuff]

i was spelunking?

[cuff]

nah ok. i was up in teh yukon with my partner. workin on a arms dealer, middle of a fuckin blizzard, hopped up from the cold. but suddenly there was a crevasse out of the blue and then there was slippin and then there was me falling and yup

stuck. there you go

[shutterbugged]

Okay, you're not wrong, but I can tell you right now that my imPort date has nothing to do with anything. And if it did, that's not information I'd spread around to all and sundry, and especially not to you, Calendar Man. No offense.

[ Yeah that... kind of made it offensive, Peter. Good job. ]

[shutterbugged]

...Okay, that's impressively weird, and I say this as a man who once -- nevermind, I'll save that for the next round.

[ "gave birth to himself," is what he would have said. Hey, it's Canon^TM!

Meanwhile, Spider-Man tugs off one of his gloves and shakes it out with the muted snap of unstable molecules mimicking spandex. (Not really necessary, but the suit just didn't feel right until he reprogrammed it.) He cocks his wrist, showing off the web-shooter in all its nickel-plated glory.

A few motions of his hands and a soft shushing sound later, he's got a nice cat's cradle going made out of synthetic spider-silk.]

Spinneret-y enough for you?

[ He could go a little snarkier, but... well, as much as this incarnation of the Doctor gets on his nerves all the time sometimes, he's still a brilliant scientific mind... and Peter does want to know what he thinks of his engineering pride and joy. ]

[caerulea]

Seriously? 1? That one sounded the most tame, I could actually see it happening.

[shutterbugged]

That's some ultra fine hair-splitting you've got going there, but fine, let's go with one superhero.
But if you meet Iron Man don't tell him you don't think he's super. Not unless you're dying to see a middle-aged man pout like a six-year-old.

[ Eddie do you have a crush on your local superhero ]

I know there are speedsters here, but I've gotta admit, I've been of the loop the last few months. You know, hence making my grand reentrance to the social sphere now that I'm all caught up on my laundry and Netflix queue.

[ Meanwhile, Peter is doing a mental tally:
- Eddie doesn't want to go home
- But Eddie thinks that things at home happened exactly as they should
- Eddie has powers here and wishes he didn't

He's not sure what's going on exactly, but he hasn't been a superhero half his life for nothing. This is giving him some bad juju. But they've just met; he can't just start prying into the guy's personal business on a hunch. ]

If it's because they're silly, don't worry about it. Lachesis has a weird sense of humor, is all.

[shutterbugged]

Well, they were actually Nazi bees.

[caerulea]

That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. All three of them.

And you're still alive?

[shutterbugged]

Nope. The afterlife has great cell coverage, go figure.

[caerulea]

I can actually communicate with spirits, so I'm still not 100% if you're joking or not.

[helpline]

And that's not even one of my two truths and a lie.

[ But HELLO THERE web-shooters, the Doctor's watching intently as Spider-Man does his little cats cradle. ] Fascinating....I like your trigger mechanism, that two fingered approach is a good idea, prevents you from punching things with webs, now is that web fluid that gets shot out via some sort of spray mechanism or, for lack of a better term, web silly string?

partially private

[causational]

You think so? I just figure a superhero has to be both super and a hero, okay? But then again, I guess where I come from there's a pretty sharp distinction between meta-humans, people with abilities, and normal people who are just geniuses with gadgets.

[A small hero-worship crush yes. At least when he's in the mask.]

...Netflix. Man, I missed Netflix. Things have been way too busy for that lately. But you'll have to meet him sometime. I bet you'd get along.

[It is some bad juju. It's not that he isn't dead, he just thinks he needs to stay that way.]

I wouldn't call them silly. Just a little annoying. It's emotion-based probability manipulation. So. Bad mood means bad luck, that kind of thing. It's kind of ironic considering things at home.

[A beat, and then he changes the feed to private.]

Okay, I keep alluding to things, which I admit is probably really annoying. My descendant from the future is a really bad person, who did terrible things and threatened a lot of people. Someone told me recently that it's a huge coincidence that he happened to travel back to the same city and group of people that I was in. He's the reason number 1 is true, and also why I don't want to go home.

[orions_shadow]

That's okay

if you were a man spider we would not be friends.

also wrong

you could probably argue the cosmic-ness of what it comes from though because the guy was named for a constellation and he was an incarnate once

so I think cosmic applies.

[mantlepieces]

kind of built into this place, its not really "real life"
u got over it?

[ He's not much for tact or politeness. ]

the part where u do all that work for free
even here they still pay u if you DONT do it but I guess ur already committed to the whole racket
so it must be #2 on that insane that's BS

[leonized]

There's definitely a United States and a Russia where I'm from.

[At least... there sort of is, but he's heard of them, so that had to count for something, right?]

I don't think bees can be communist, so that's the lie.

[beneathbluerafters]

Huh. My compliments and grudging respect to the lizard for his medical prowess.

Are you more man than spider, or more spider than man? how many arms do you have now?

[glowsferatu]

[ Right, Venom or Doc Ock, definitely. Whoever those jokers even are. Just tiptoeing around the elephant in the room instead, ain't no one wanna talk about that dude right now. ]

i cant even imagine what that must be like
and they just continue to do crimes under the same identity
all the while practicing some grudge against you
what sort of theme are stilts
who would do that

photos are one thing but its an entirely different level when they commemorate former portions of your anatomy
i can certainly promise ill never keep ashiahs cocoon after she metamorphoses
that would just be weird

[lunaraneae]

Are you sure you're not jealous? A lot of people would consider Johnny Storm a catch.

[A lot of people not Cindy, but she's not ready to give up the game quite yet.]

[exceptfebruary]

But an exception would also be useful data.

Why would you not tell me? I'm the best one to tell. I am the expert here.