maskormenace | BACKDATED to the 18th; TEXT, comm ID "Spider-Man"

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BACKDATED to the 18th; TEXT, comm ID "Spider-Man"

Funny thing is, I spent most of last year counting down to my 5th imPort anniversary, and in the end I missed it by a good month and a half. Guess that's what comes of having a significant life event close to the holidays.

[ Spider-Man red versus Goblin green… totally counts as festive, right? Of course it does. ]

You gotta love the human -- sorry, the sapient -- capacity for adaptation. Forgetting the day of my own kidnapping.

But for the sake of you patient souls who suffered through my existential moping last year -- how many of you are still here, anyway? roll call! -- let's skip it this time and go with an icebreaker for the newbies.

Two truths and a lie. For those of you who come from universes without awkward getting-to-know-you party games, (a) congratulations, (b) it's just what it sounds like. I'll start:

1. I once picked a fight with a swarm of communist bees.
2. I used to have six arms but a giant lizard helped me remove them.
3. My car once tried to murder me.

Take your guesses.

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Just going off personal experience on what counts as ridiculous, I'm going to go with 3 as the lie.

You've been here for five years?

it has to be the third one
even aside from the pure ridiculousness of the concept
why would you even need a car

A fair number of years now, especially for an imPort.

Which date exactly were you ported in?

Mysterious stranger, you have life experiences after my own heart. But bzzzzt! Try again.

To answer your question, yes.
well, no
I've been an imPort for five years, in this universe for two. Sure feels like a lot longer.
You don't want to know what happened to the other one.

[Private for two reasons: 1. Just in case Normie slips and more importantly 2. Normie is an Osborn and that would raise questions.]

Honestly... they all sound like the truth to me.

Because I wouldn't put it past the spider-mobile to have attempted to kill you at some point

Two words for you, my friend: corporate sponsorship.
Yeah yeah, not my smartest moment. But web-fluid don't come cheap.

Try again.

My life experiences have gotten pretty ridiculous lately, I'll admit. And my name's Eddie Thawne. Pleased to meet you.

Wow. Then I'll go with 2. I have to believe 1 is true so I'm not the only one with a traumatic bee story.

Wait, you were an imPort before you came to this place? How many alternate universes are out there?

[A pause, then.]

Good to know you can stay here as long as that.

Edited 2016-01-24 02:17 (UTC)

[ Normie you know people can tell they're having a private exchange, right ]

The lie is based on the truth, I just edited it. But no, that one's the truth. S'why I ditched the darn thing.

Edited 2016-01-24 02:12 (UTC)

so the corporation you were sponsoring gave you a car that tried to eat you
it wasnt oscorp was it

now did the giant lizard in question bite your additional appendages off or was it a more standard amputation
actually was dr connors from your world i dont remember

Julian, are you for real

Yes.

That wasn't an answer.

No, wait, I ditched it and then it came back and tried to kill me. I mean, it was the Tinkerer, but it's understandable, really.

The sad thing is, all of those sound so plausible! [ says the person from Doctor Who..... ]

By Communist bees, do you mean a group of bees that identify as Communist themselves, or a group of bees that's controlled by someone who's a Communist making them Communist by proxy? And can I do two truths and a lie after I guess?

[Yes, but then people would assume he's making threats and twirling his non-existent mustache or something.]

Spider-Man this is why I'm having trouble figuring out the lie. This is your life.

So you're either lying about the Swarm or about the Lizard helping you...
Or that you had four arms and not six

Two

[Because man he does not remember anything about the Swarm beyond the fact that there used to be some guy made bees (or a bunch of sentient bees that made a guy) called the Swarm.]

It's sweet that you want to send me a card for next time, but really, you don't need to bother.

The bees are a formerly human sentience which identifies himself as a singular entity who is also a Communist. I try not to judge. I mean, about his self-identification, the politically motivated attempted murder is another story.

Knock yourself out.

You're wearing an alien symbiote right now, don't throw stones.

Bzzzt! Totally had the six arms, sorry kid.

Edited (whoops misread) 2016-01-24 02:24 (UTC)

First Batman isn't a bat, now Spider-Man isn't a spider, you all are rubbish at identities! [ but that's neither here nor there. The Doctor frowns and thinks before... ]

The lizard. Mostly because all the sentient giant lizards I know are parts of their own species and would prefer to be called by their proper nomenclature instead of giant lizard. I don't doubt you used to have six arms, though. Accidents happen.

Yes but we never fought a bee person.

I was actually thinking it wasn't Connors that helped you, it was someone else.

6 arms plus 2 legs equals 8 limbs. That part was never in doubt. 8 limbs for a SPIDER-Man.

You are still wrong, but I do have a traumatic bee story -- okay, it's not that traumatic, Swarm is kind of a wannabe as far as these things go.

Or should I say wannabee
Anyway he's a Nazi, not a Communist

Theoretically, infinity. ImPorts do seem to show up from clusters of related universes, though, I don't think anyone's figured out why just yet.
It's kinda complicated. We're the second wave of imPorts who've been here, first of all, starting from January 2014. But a lot of us first second-Wavers came from another universe we were also 'Ported into... plus a few random stays in other universes but long story short, I've been around.

[ Man, listing it all out like that makes Peter feel tired. ]

Not keen on going home?

[ Politer than asking whether Eddie's one of the dead ones, which is the usual reason for newbies wanting to stick around. ]

If it makes you feel any better, I missed my own anniversary a few months back. Dates are rather tricky things to hang onto, aren't they?

As for the game...all the vehicles I've seen here have been exceedingly polite about things, so I suppose I'll throw my lot in with three.

You know, Johnny Storm told me some stories about the Spider-Mobile.

Corporate bloodsuckers they might or might not have been, but it was actually the Tinkerer who salvaged and reprogrammed my car.
Yeah, I don't know what kind of personality goes into crime all, "I'm gonna call myself... THE TINKERKER!" But he's genuinely a pain in my bewebbed butt sometimes, power to him.

There was no amputation involved, with or without Curt Connors' impressive set of incisors. We brewed up an antidote.

[ How does one antidote away four extra limbs? Best not to ask. ]

Edited 2016-01-24 02:52 (UTC)

Those were definitely lies.

Swarm? Wow. Mine was just a crazy roboticist with a bunch of tiny robot bees. It almost killed my friend, though.

You had a car that tried to kill you?

There is no way I'm going to be able to wrap my head around the details of all that, but I think I get the gist of it. Lots of universes, some people were pulled to one, then here, others are coming straight here. Including me.

No. I have zero intention of going home. You?

[Not that he'd go home even if he weren't dead - he's just...not able to be in that timeline again. He won't risk his loved ones like that.

And a half-minute later.]

Wait, am I supposed to give you some now?

Edited 2016-01-24 03:03 (UTC)

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