BACKDATED to the 18th; TEXT, comm ID "Spider-Man"

[shutterbugged]

Funny thing is, I spent most of last year counting down to my 5th imPort anniversary, and in the end I missed it by a good month and a half. Guess that's what comes of having a significant life event close to the holidays.

[ Spider-Man red versus Goblin green… totally counts as festive, right? Of course it does. ]

You gotta love the human -- sorry, the sapient -- capacity for adaptation. Forgetting the day of my own kidnapping.

But for the sake of you patient souls who suffered through my existential moping last year -- how many of you are still here, anyway? roll call! -- let's skip it this time and go with an icebreaker for the newbies.

Two truths and a lie. For those of you who come from universes without awkward getting-to-know-you party games, (a) congratulations, (b) it's just what it sounds like. I'll start:

1. I once picked a fight with a swarm of communist bees.
2. I used to have six arms but a giant lizard helped me remove them.
3. My car once tried to murder me.

Take your guesses.

Comments

text; id: silk

[lunaraneae]

You know, Johnny Storm told me some stories about the Spider-Mobile.

text; immediately

[shutterbugged]

Those were definitely lies.

[lunaraneae]

Are you saying I can't trust a fine and upstanding member of the Fantastic Four?

[shutterbugged]

I could use an incredulous laughter emoji right about now

[lunaraneae]

Hey, he was a perfect gentleman on our date.

1/?

[shutterbugged]

your wh

2/?

[shutterbugged]

You;ve gotta be

3/4

[shutterbugged]

augh

4/4

[shutterbugged]

Johnny Storm? Johnny?? Storm??? That Johnny?

Silk, what could possibly have possessed you.

[lunaraneae]

It was a good date! We beat up some muggers.

[shutterbugged]

Sounds like a cheap date to me.

[ Peter that sounds like at least 45% of the dates you had with Black Cat and the other 65% were heists. ]

[lunaraneae]

Hey, he took me out to dinner first. Really fancy dinner. We just preferred fighting bad guys.

[shutterbugged]

All right, all right.
To be fair that sounds kind of like a date I had once, and it was a pretty good one, so I *guess* I can't throw stones.

[ Beat. ]

NOT A DATE WITH JOHNNY
It was Carol Danvers!
I still seriously question your taste

[lunaraneae]

Are you sure you're not jealous? A lot of people would consider Johnny Storm a catch.

[A lot of people not Cindy, but she's not ready to give up the game quite yet.]

[shutterbugged]

I would sooner kiss Stilt-Man.

[ Peter does love Johnny, although wild horses couldn't get him to say it out loud. Death and resurrection might, but that's a while in his future. But it's less "brotherhood for the ages" and more "we grew up together and he grew on me, like a fungus." ]

[lunaraneae]

Would that make you Mrs. Spider-Stilt? Stilt-Spider?

[shutterbugged]

Legally I'd be Mr. Stilt-Spider, but keep going by Spider-Man for professional reasons. It's the 21st century, gotta think of my career.

[lunaraneae]

Branding is important. Do you have an Instagram yet? I hear that's all the rage.