003 | video

[yourpiecenow]

As time passes and my original theory of “this place is going to be non-stop crazy bullshit” gets proven right over and over again, I’ve noticed something really, really scary: About half of you losers have absolutely no fucking clue what to do with what you’ve been given.

Super unfortunately, a lot of the half that does is fucking psychotic. That’s a problem. If they don’t kill us all on purpose, you’ll kill us all by accident. I mean, I’ve seen some of you test out your powers. It’s really sad to watch.

It kind of reminds me of my situation back home. In theory, covens are supposed to gather up all the witches Hogwarts-style and teach them how to not be idiots and blow their cover by, I don’t know, cursing their neighbor’s cow or something. That’s basically what we need here. Some sort of… [unity. cohesiveness. community.] Something.

[-- and then she sort of realizes…] I mean, of course, I can’t do anything about it. But, I’m sure some of you screaming idiots can get your shit together for five minutes and figure something out. Hopefully.

Comments

[yourpiecenow]

First of all, I do care. About me, and my safety. Having Bobby Braindamage running around setting fire to himself is against my own personal interest of not dying again.

[hoboagogo]

Not a bad priority to have.
-You died before coming here too?

[yourpiecenow]

Yep. Died, came back, got the t-shirt. Just call me Jesus Christ Superstar.

[hoboagogo]

That your name?
I hadn't seen anyone else who'd kicked it back home. I figure it was the same for you? Get offed, then wake up here right after?

[yourpiecenow]

It's actually Madison, but I won't stop you from calling me Jesus. It kind of fits the theme we have running here.

-- Oh, no, I came back to life back home. Witch shit. Super complicated.

[hoboagogo]

I was gonna go with Superstar actually.
Gotcha. No worries, I don't care much 'bout the details.

[yourpiecenow]

Honestly, I won't say no to that, either.

You're the first. It gets really fucking annoying, explaining such basic shit to people.

[hoboagogo]

Superstar it is, then.
Basic to you, fairytail shit to other people.
i figure it doesnt do me any good trying to figure out how shit from another dimension really works. Probably different from how the porter here does things anyway.

[yourpiecenow]

It was hard enough figuring out shit before the dimension-hopping shit started. Giving up and just accepting that the world is weird makes it easier.

[hoboagogo]

I get you. I wanna find out enough that I'm not completely clueless
but that's about this place and how shit works here, not your weird witchcraft resurrection.
I get what you mean about giving up on weird shit. I get curious, but there's a point where you just gotta stop thinking too hard.

[yourpiecenow]

Dragons. Aliens. Robots. Whatever the fuck all the lawyers are supposed to be.

No wonder everyone here is crazy. If you weren't before you got here, this place sure as fuck doesn't help you stay that way.

[hoboagogo]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds the lawyers weird as hell
at least theres no space/time-fuckup towers spawning monsters here
thats something I'm glad to have left back home

[yourpiecenow]

[a long pause]

Towers. Spawning monsters. Towers that spawn monsters.

That's what you meant?

[hoboagogo]

well theres just one
and it only happens during a weird time distortion at night
but yeah it'd spawn monsters that's chow down on people's minds
make 'em all vegetative and just lay there til they die of thirst or exhaustion or get run over or whatever

[yourpiecenow]

... Some of you people come from really shitty universes, don't you.

[hoboagogo]

pretty much yeah.
im sure your worlds got some shitty parts too

[yourpiecenow]

Just the parts I'm in.

[hoboagogo]

i dunno other parts probably suck too
starving kids etc

[yourpiecenow]

Who cares about them?

[hoboagogo]

shit, you're touchy
didn't say anyone did. just that other parts probably suck too.
i'd be even more of an idiot to assume you gave a damn 'bout anyone at this point.

[yourpiecenow]

People tend to forget that for some reason? I really don't know why.

[hoboagogo]

probably ain't used to dealing with a human black hole
witch black hole
whatever

[yourpiecenow]

Well, they better get used to it. It's kind of how half of the people here are.

[hoboagogo]

dunno if most people embrace it so much

[yourpiecenow]

There's more than a few people who let their freak flag fly. There could be some secret psychos, but they'll reveal themselves eventually. They always do.