003 | video

[yourpiecenow]

As time passes and my original theory of “this place is going to be non-stop crazy bullshit” gets proven right over and over again, I’ve noticed something really, really scary: About half of you losers have absolutely no fucking clue what to do with what you’ve been given.

Super unfortunately, a lot of the half that does is fucking psychotic. That’s a problem. If they don’t kill us all on purpose, you’ll kill us all by accident. I mean, I’ve seen some of you test out your powers. It’s really sad to watch.

It kind of reminds me of my situation back home. In theory, covens are supposed to gather up all the witches Hogwarts-style and teach them how to not be idiots and blow their cover by, I don’t know, cursing their neighbor’s cow or something. That’s basically what we need here. Some sort of… [unity. cohesiveness. community.] Something.

[-- and then she sort of realizes…] I mean, of course, I can’t do anything about it. But, I’m sure some of you screaming idiots can get your shit together for five minutes and figure something out. Hopefully.

Comments

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[hoboagogo]

Dunno 'bout the rest, but I didn't have powers for no reason before.
So it's pretty easy to just ignore that I have them.

Having some kinda instruction available might not be a bad thing. Tricky part is it seems like most everyones powers are completely different.

video forever

[yourpiecenow]

You can't just do that forever. You'll be forced to use them eventually. [that doesn't sound threatening at all...]

It's all about control. Learn that, and the "shooting lasers from your eyes" part is easy. Of course, it won't be easy because literally everyone here is an idiot, so...

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[vengefulshades]

Aww, such a good idea, and you're not even volunteering to help out?

[yourpiecenow]

I don't have the temperament to teach.

[understatement of the century]

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[bulwank]

There is- truth in what you said. [Somewhere.]

[In there.]

[yourpiecenow]

No shit. I tend to do that a lot.

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[kirisutegomen]

And until then, how do you expect people to become better if they don't test them out?

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[yourpiecenow]

I don't know? In an empty field?

Far away from human life?

Far away from me?

video.

[heralding]

There's been one immediate threat, Madison.

Don't assume that's the same for everyone.

[yourpiecenow]

Do you remember that one time there was that guy who basically asked if it was okay to murder people here?

There's been one threat so far. You know there'll be more. There's always more.

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[humanistic]

Nice speech.

D'you have any nominations for who should be getting their shit together for this superhero coven plan of yours, or is that too involved for the idea girl?

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[selfequipped]

Hank Pym is looking into it.

[She's just stepping in here, because that seems like a good thing to point out.]

In fact, I'm fairly certain the idea is in progress.

[yourpiecenow]

Thanks.

I don't know, is fucking Dumbledore available? I'm in my 20s; I don't know how to do any of this shit.

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[aggressiveapathy]

What are you doing?

[yourpiecenow]

Besides feeling increasingly like the guy in the disaster movie that tries to tell everyone shit is going to happen but gets ignored, and then everyone dies? Nothing much. Playing some Candy Crush. Ate a bagel. Considered writing a will. The usual.

Permavid

[governorkang]

It does seem a bit counter-intuitive, doesn't it?

[yourpiecenow]

Thank. You. For not immediately going into bitch-mode.

You're the first!

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[larker]

I think they might call that "natural selection," sweetheart. Are you hoping that by getting them all together they'll learn something, or that they'll all kill each other in one go?

[yourpiecenow]

I'm not overly picky.

[ video ]

[hostage]

Yo, I'd pay cash money to go to Superhero Hogwarts.

[yourpiecenow]

Of course you would.

[SIGH] I don't even know why I try. Nobody's going to listen to anything.

[video]

[yatagarasu]

I do know what to do with my powers!

[After that initial outburst, Kay calms down and sighs, adjusting the huge key in her hair.]

...But that's exactly what I was looking for when I first got here. Superschool! A school made for heroes! Not just regular old ordinary school!

[yourpiecenow]

Did you already have your powers at home. Because if you did, you're in the half that doesn't count.

And if I can save just one person from having to go to a public high school in the South, I'll be done with good deeds for a fucking year.

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[attractedtodarkness]

That's the first good idea I've heard from you.

[someone's being helpfully sarcastic as usual]

[yourpiecenow]

Gee, thanks.

Beating up Communists is a great idea. Don't be so unpatriotic.

[transuniversal]

Actually on the "crazy bullshit" scale this seems fairly mild. The index of rampant destruction is very low compared to what is usual for superhero antics.

[Helpful in a way that isn't in the least bit helpful on purpose.]

[yourpiecenow]

That's actually my whole point. It's only going to get worse from here, and nobody here is even close to prepared for it. It's going to be fucking insane.

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[databoner]

[Look who's out of jail!!]

A school, then. Perhaps some kind of... Institute for Higher Learning.

[Come on. Someone get this reference. This is literally a comic book world, someone has to know what he's referencing.]

[yourpiecenow]

Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever you want to call it.

[absolutely completely wrong person to be asking this of]

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[fantasykiller]

I understand what you mean. Even with your absolutely terrible delivery.

[Charisma must be her dump stat.]

The Power Curriculum Program back in Academy City bestowed supernatural powers just like this place. The major difference is that you would have to constantly study quantum mechanics and whatever scientific laws governed your power if you wanted to even use it.

[yourpiecenow]

... Yeah, we probably shouldn't put that as a requirement or anything.