Video; open to Action for Nonah #03 residents

[wizzardly]

[This is not Rincewind's first attempt at accessing the network. Shamefully, it's not even his fourth attempt, even after all the helpful advice (which he smiled brightly through and nodded at and didn't listen to at all). Obviously he's managed to get the unfamiliar technology to finally work for him though, as that's definitely his sullen face coming across the imPort channels. He's on the floor of his new room, his back against his bed and his arm slung over a large wooden chest. His broad-brimmed hat proclaims him to be a 'Wizzard'.

He is also, quite obviously, very drunk.]

Right. I think we can all agree that this is absolutely mad, right? And not even - not even all these things that are going 'round doing stuff without any sort of magic or tiny imps painting pictures inside them, that's not even what I'm talking about here, that part I could almost like, since it seems somewhat sensible, the principle of it. ...Although it still isn't, is it, because there's apparently all these powers and such, which totally throws that whole thing about being sensible right out the window. And being handed out like meat-pies or something too, with no thought as to who's getting them. M'sure that's not something that's going to blow up in anyone's face, is it? Probably literally, if I had my guess.

...Right, where was I going with this?

[there's a pause as Rincewind casts about for the tenuous line of focus that brought him here in the first place, and which he's sure to be appropriately horrified he followed when he sobers up tomorrow.

Apparently he finds it again, and slaps his hand (the one not currently holding a bottle of wine) on the wooden trunk for emphasis. The chest lifts its lid some, in grumpy protest.] - Heroes! Heroes, that's what I was getting at - this whole business about people being fished out of their own perfectly good - well, okay, mostly good. Somewhat. ...At least familiar worlds, and then being asked to - to - to do what? Be a hero? I've met heroes, you know, quite more than I'd have liked, and do you know what heroes are?

Dangerous, that's what. [firmly.] Dangerous, utterly reckless madmen, that's what heroes are. People who have as much trouble realizing why you shouldn't go barreling into dark caves full of horrible monsters to get the gold, or rescue the girl, as they do recognizing a good thing when they have it. Which is living. ...Which they risk. ...To be heroes.

But you know the most important thing about them? [he continues, fervently] The most important thing about heroes is that - ! Well, it's that - !

...It's that I'm not one.

[Rincewind quiets, and swipes the sleeve of his robe across his nose with a miserable, dry sniff. He frowns, sighs.] Not that it matters, I suppose. Not that it ever matters.

Comments

[wizzardly]

Cars, right. And that's really rather my point, the part about them not feeling anything. Means they've got no sense of self-preservation, doesn't it, so it's also got no sense for preserving anything riding in it.

[his logic is flawless, ok.

A pause. Rincewind smiles. It is not a happy sort of smile.] Er, what was that last part? About the tracking?

[mightthinkthat]

Generally, you're in control and provide the self-preservation yourself.

If you're out of the country for longer than you ought to be, you get marked with AWOL, even if they don't expect you to check in. Also, the Russians managed to hack into the tattoos and whisk some of us off to a submarine and held us hostage.

[wizzardly]

Hm. [still distrusting, but he'll drop it.

Particularly because this second point is so much more attention-grabbing (the parts that don't go right over his head, of course, like 'AWOL' and 'submarine').]

I see. And, ah... who exactly are the Russians? ...Do we also think they're going to be doing that again, that whole kidnapping and hacking into people's wrists and things?

[it should be noted that the word 'hacking', to Rincewind, generally involves the use of something sharp.]

[mightthinkthat]

People from a different country. They're at war with this one. Not precisely that, no, but I doubt we've seen the last of them. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

[ Eh, details. Not a lot of fun either way. ]

[wizzardly]

Oh goody. [this place is starting to feel more familiar already.] Anyway, who should I be thanking for the warning?

Now there's a saying I've never understood. It's a big universe, there's lots else to go do than fail at something miserably time and again.

[mightthinkthat]

I'm Francis Urquhart.

Ah, but if you don't fail, you'll never learn to succeed.

[wizzardly]

Rincewind. Charmed, and all that.

There's no guarantee that you ever will though, is there? S'like those wizards who spend most their lives trying to learn some spell to summon nude women into their rooms, and even when they do finally get it right it's forty years down the line and they're so poisoned with chemical fumes that they can't even enjoy it properly. Sometimes it's better just to know when you aren't cut out for something. Know who you are, sort of thing.

[mightthinkthat]

[ He gives the customary nod to the customary greeting.

Shrug. ] There's no guarantee I'll be able to finish this sentence, but generally one has an idea of the odds, so yes, we broadly agree. Try, but don't take forty years over it.

[wizzardly]

Oh. Well... then, yes, I guess we agree, more-or-less. [which is odd. People usually don't listen to him.]

...You said you were a politician before, didn't you? Have you got anywhere here with it yet?

[mightthinkthat]

I'm the ImPort Ambassador to Nonah, and I went over as part of a delegation to South Korea, to convince them to take our side over the Russians'. So yes, I'm doing all right so far.

[wizzardly]

Oh, Nonah. That's where I'm living for now. [he's even cautiously enjoying it, a little. Mostly the parts involving free lodging, modern heating, and running, suspiciously clear water whenever he wants it.]

And good job there, I suppose. I mean you all got the, er, hostages back, right? So - well done.

[mightthinkthat]

Well, I'll do my best for you.

Ah, would that I could take credit for that, no, the rescue was strictly an armed affair, the South Koreans have yet to make their decision on that front. Cautious lot and probably right to be.

[wizzardly]

Yeah, all right. [he's never met a government person who actually really cares about anything but staying in power (goodness knows senior wizards are much the same), but that's not exactly a slight against them. Just makes sense, doesn't? Just the way the world is.]

Can't blame them too much for that. These 'Russia' people sound pretty horrible. How far away are they, anyhow? Not going to run into one unexpectedly, am I?

[mightthinkthat]

[ Francis believes in multi-tasking. Besides, burning your bridges before you've walked across them is a bit daft at the best of times. ]

Possibly? I mean, they're unlikely to announce themselves without backup, but there are probably spies about. Russia itself is some distance. [ He doesn't want to send Rincewind into a nervous wreck so he thinks of something he can do. ] But anyone you talk to here isn't likely to be allied with the Russians, so if you do feel worried, go find one of us, if you can.

[wizzardly]

[Rincewind makes a noise that seems to want to be a word, but never quite makes it. He clears his throat and tries again.]

Are they the only ones to be concerned about? As a specific group, I mean. There's always thieves and brigands and generally dangerous sorts, but the ones with enough focus to organize are generally the really worrisome types.

[mightthinkthat]

There was a Cain Cabal a while back, messing with our powers. They're after eternal life and believe we have the key because we are restored after we're killed.

[wizzardly]

...

[Rincewind grabs his file from off the bed behind him. He'd skimmed through it earlier.]

Right, okay, was that mentioned in here, because I didn't see it. You said we're restored? What, like - you can't die here, if you're an imPort?

[mightthinkthat]

Oh, you can die, you're simply restored afterwards. I've never tried it, so I can't really tell you more than it happens.

[wizzardly]

Oh. Bugger. ...No, no I can see why you wouldn't want to give it a go.

[he still can't quite wrap his mind around it, which is funny, having been to both Death's door and Hell. But he was still technically alive the times he went and came back, and that's the kicker.]

[mightthinkthat]

[ He was killed before he got here. It was all... very odd. Even above all the other things he was expected to swallow. ]

Better to play it safe.

[wizzardly]

[his smile is instant, and genuine. He raises his bottle as if to cheers Francis. Finally - a like-minded soul.]

That has always been my motto.

[mightthinkthat]

[ He smiles in response. Francis isn't so much a coward, but practicality is something his family practically worshipped. ]

A good one.