maskormenace | Video; open to Action for Nonah #03 residents

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Video; open to Action for Nonah #03 residents

[This is not Rincewind's first attempt at accessing the network. Shamefully, it's not even his fourth attempt, even after all the helpful advice (which he smiled brightly through and nodded at and didn't listen to at all). Obviously he's managed to get the unfamiliar technology to finally work for him though, as that's definitely his sullen face coming across the imPort channels. He's on the floor of his new room, his back against his bed and his arm slung over a large wooden chest. His broad-brimmed hat proclaims him to be a 'Wizzard'.

He is also, quite obviously, very drunk.]

Right. I think we can all agree that this is absolutely mad, right? And not even - not even all these things that are going 'round doing stuff without any sort of magic or tiny imps painting pictures inside them, that's not even what I'm talking about here, that part I could almost like, since it seems somewhat sensible, the principle of it. ...Although it still isn't, is it, because there's apparently all these powers and such, which totally throws that whole thing about being sensible right out the window. And being handed out like meat-pies or something too, with no thought as to who's getting them. M'sure that's not something that's going to blow up in anyone's face, is it? Probably literally, if I had my guess.

...Right, where was I going with this?

[there's a pause as Rincewind casts about for the tenuous line of focus that brought him here in the first place, and which he's sure to be appropriately horrified he followed when he sobers up tomorrow.

Apparently he finds it again, and slaps his hand (the one not currently holding a bottle of wine) on the wooden trunk for emphasis. The chest lifts its lid some, in grumpy protest.] - Heroes! Heroes, that's what I was getting at - this whole business about people being fished out of their own perfectly good - well, okay, mostly good. Somewhat. ...At least familiar worlds, and then being asked to - to - to do what? Be a hero? I've met heroes, you know, quite more than I'd have liked, and do you know what heroes are?

Dangerous, that's what. [firmly.] Dangerous, utterly reckless madmen, that's what heroes are. People who have as much trouble realizing why you shouldn't go barreling into dark caves full of horrible monsters to get the gold, or rescue the girl, as they do recognizing a good thing when they have it. Which is living. ...Which they risk. ...To be heroes.

But you know the most important thing about them? [he continues, fervently] The most important thing about heroes is that - ! Well, it's that - !

...It's that I'm not one.

[Rincewind quiets, and swipes the sleeve of his robe across his nose with a miserable, dry sniff. He frowns, sighs.] Not that it matters, I suppose. Not that it ever matters.

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I don't think there's much there not to get, being the end of the world. S'pretty straightforward. Seen it one shape and you've seen it in a few others, sort of thing.

...I suppose you'd like to see the same happen here too? [because that would be just his luck.]

Not presently--although if you speak to other people they'll convince you that I do. They're very prejudiced toward me.

Well, you know, talk of apocalypses and magic powerful enough to bind Death does tend to make a person nervous. - Not me, of course - [of course] - but that could be the issue. If you were, er, looking for one. You might not be. Which is also fine! I'm certainly not going to assume things.

Well, at least someone sees it as impressive. Frankly, it's been far too long.

[Rincewind gives him a look like he's gone mad.]

How could someone not? The amount of time and creativity it would take - I mean just getting around the various regulations regarding the conservation of reality, or harnessing the amount of thaumic energy a spell like that would need... [his mind reels, and he quiets, just imagining this. How could that not impress someone? More importantly, how could it not scare the pants off them?]

Edited 2016-02-08 21:16 (UTC)

I'm afraid that most of the people here really aren't that aware of magic at all, except as illusions done by aging performers on cruise ships. Real magic is utterly alien to them.

It seems incredible to me. I mean I guess they don't really need it, they have all this... this tech-gnome-agy and such, but it seems very odd. [disconcerting.]

...Isn't magic what these new powers and things essentially boil down to, though?

Pssh, it's nothing in comparison to our magic. Can they travel through time? No. Raise the dead? Walk through another person's dreaming? No. They're not that good.

[he finds it a little relieving to hear that most people here still can't do those things.

He finds it less relieving to hear that Lucifer can.]

...When you say "our", you are referring to these angel sorts again, right?

Mostly. Only archangels like myself can raise the dead, and time travel is restricted to those with the power for it.

[ He's amused. He can all but hear the trepidation. ]

Are there any others here? [you know, while he's concerned about it and they're on the subject.]

And time travel's such a mess anyway, I don't know why people think it's worth doing. You're always bound to mess something up, get involved where you shouldn't. Accidentally kick-start life as you know it with an egg and cress sandwich you drop in a tide pool. [he mutters this bitterly, then quickly tacks on:] Or something. Whatever.

Not presently, but my brother Gabriel, was for a while. You might know him as Loki.

[ You never know. ]

I'm sorry, did you say "sandwich"?

Mmmmmm no, sorry, doesn't ring a bell. ...There is a Hoki, the Jokester, if that helps?

[he waves his hand vaguely] Supposing you were to go back in time and meet the Creator, I mean, and supposing that even though he's mostly a prick you ask him for a sandwich and he gives you one and you happen to drop a bit of it in a tide pool and it starts evolution. S'what I meant.

Trickster, Jokester, same thing. My brother is excellent at that sort of things.

But it sounds like a not unacceptable creation story, no better or worse than the truth. Although I'd have to wonder, if it really was the Creator, then wouldn't He know already that you're going to drop the sandwich, after all, having met you He'd have to have already discerned that you were from the future that sandwich evolved into.

Doesn't seem like much of an accident to me, I shouldn't blame yourself for it. It's just the kind of practical joke my Father would play on someone. Worked on me.

Edited 2016-02-09 00:25 (UTC)

Goodness only knows. That's where omniscience gets tricky. - And time travel, for that matter, considering I'd have to have dropped the sandwich in the first place to exist later to drop it, right? Gives me a headache.

[or maybe that's the wine.

...It's probably the wine.]

He wasn't the Creator of the whole Universe though, just the Disc, so maybe he really didn't know. I don't know how much they let contractors in on. But you're probably right, sounds like the sort of monstrous joke a god would play on me for -

- Wait, you did say father just then, didn't you?

[ It's definitely the time travel. ]

Yes, I did say Father. As in He who created the world first made my elder brother Michael, and then me.

We were tricked into a little chicken and egg routine of our own--or I was. Because if He was all seeing, as He claims to be, He'd have most certainly known that I was going to be the "bad son", and would have never have made me in the first place. Like I said, it's typical of Him.

[which makes Lucifer, according to the mythology Rincewind is familiar with, no angel at all; it makes him a god.

Oddly enough, this feels far more sensible to him now, given what he's learned. Time travel, binding Death, messing about in people's dreams and trying to end the world - those are the sorts of things that make a man a nutter, no matter if they're a sorcerer even. But as far as gods go, trying to bring about the apocalypse is almost expected, especially for the wilder ones. They never quite achieve it (or at least they haven't yet on the Disc, and the dates on world-ending prophecies have a convenient habit of pushing forward a few years on the calendars every time one gets close), but they wouldn't be much of a god if they didn't give it a good go now and again.]

Certainly sounds like a set-up to me. I hear that's typical of fathers. ...I imagine it's somewhat worse when they're the sort who can hurl thunderbolts and such, though.

Edited 2016-02-09 02:40 (UTC)

[ Hey, close enough. ]

He wasn't a very proactive Father. Or much of a proactive Creator, actually. We were made to do his Divine work for him--all the hell fire and thunderbolts was us. And when one of us broke the rules, he just set us on each other.

It was a very competitive environment to grow up in.

...So you were - ? [Rincewind's tongue catches, hesitates.

It seems like it might be unspeakably rude, to call a god a slave.

He glances aside, sympathetic despite himself - swirls the little bit of wine left in his bottle.] Sorry. That is was like that, I mean. Probably that doesn't mean much, coming from someone like me, but... I do know about getting the short end of things.

Edited 2016-02-10 01:01 (UTC)

[ So rude. It's really very fortunate that he doesn't. The sympathy, though, after the former terror, surprises him. ]

It's nothing I feel deserves much pity--it was just the way things were; the way they've always been. What are you going to do about it, after all? Family isn't interchangeable, you're lumped with the ones you get, no matter their flaws.

No, I guess not. I guess I was only - well, I dunno, I guess not being able to change things has just never seemed to me a reason not to still say something's shit when it is. Seems like more of a reason, really. But you're right, family is-

[not a subject he can speak with any authority on, actually.]

...Well, anyway, you've made the best of things, clearly. Set goals. Cheers to that. [and there goes the last of the wine. This bottle, anyway.]

You clearly missed the line for optimism, when they were handing it out. But there's nothing wrong with that--at least in their own way pessimists are always happy; the world can never disappoint them.

[ He tips his head, intrigued. ]

If I'd ever had a reason to be optimistic in my life, maybe things would be different. But I know my life and how it works, I've spent some time with it. Know thyself; I think that's very important.

Edited (HAHA WHOOPS forgot he's on voice) 2016-02-11 01:53 (UTC)

I was quite the pessimist myself, I know the feeling. It's very good advice.

Of course, optimism has been good for me too.

I've always thought so.

...And to be fair, you've got a little more to be optimistic about. Being a - being an archangel. [fairly.] The best I've got is a bloody-minded murderous box and the rather dubious privilege of The Lady's attention. ...I think. Maybe. It's best never to assume with her, She doesn't like that.

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