Rincewind (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wizzardly) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2016-02-08 10:11 am
wizzardly) wrote in maskormenace2016-02-08 10:11 am
Entry tags:
- anakin skywalker | darth vader,
- † bill cipher | your lord and master,
- † commander shepard | blasto,
- † dorian gray | n/a,
- † francis urquhart | n/a,
- † frederick chilton | chief of staff!!,
- † ken kaneki | one eyed king,
- † kitty jones | n/a,
- † l'arachel | n/a,
- † lucifer | n/a,
- † mabel pines | n/a,
- † ray kowalski | n/a,
- † rincewind | n/a,
- † sabriel | abhorsen,
- † yuri lowell | n/a
Video; open to Action for Nonah #03 residents
[This is not Rincewind's first attempt at accessing the network. Shamefully, it's not even his fourth attempt, even after all the helpful advice (which he smiled brightly through and nodded at and didn't listen to at all). Obviously he's managed to get the unfamiliar technology to finally work for him though, as that's definitely his sullen face coming across the imPort channels. He's on the floor of his new room, his back against his bed and his arm slung over a large wooden chest. His broad-brimmed hat proclaims him to be a 'Wizzard'.
He is also, quite obviously, very drunk.]
Right. I think we can all agree that this is absolutely mad, right? And not even - not even all these things that are going 'round doing stuff without any sort of magic or tiny imps painting pictures inside them, that's not even what I'm talking about here, that part I could almost like, since it seems somewhat sensible, the principle of it. ...Although it still isn't, is it, because there's apparently all these powers and such, which totally throws that whole thing about being sensible right out the window. And being handed out like meat-pies or something too, with no thought as to who's getting them. M'sure that's not something that's going to blow up in anyone's face, is it? Probably literally, if I had my guess.
...Right, where was I going with this?
[there's a pause as Rincewind casts about for the tenuous line of focus that brought him here in the first place, and which he's sure to be appropriately horrified he followed when he sobers up tomorrow.
Apparently he finds it again, and slaps his hand (the one not currently holding a bottle of wine) on the wooden trunk for emphasis. The chest lifts its lid some, in grumpy protest.] - Heroes! Heroes, that's what I was getting at - this whole business about people being fished out of their own perfectly good - well, okay, mostly good. Somewhat. ...At least familiar worlds, and then being asked to - to - to do what? Be a hero? I've met heroes, you know, quite more than I'd have liked, and do you know what heroes are?
Dangerous, that's what. [firmly.] Dangerous, utterly reckless madmen, that's what heroes are. People who have as much trouble realizing why you shouldn't go barreling into dark caves full of horrible monsters to get the gold, or rescue the girl, as they do recognizing a good thing when they have it. Which is living. ...Which they risk. ...To be heroes.
But you know the most important thing about them? [he continues, fervently] The most important thing about heroes is that - ! Well, it's that - !
...It's that I'm not one.
[Rincewind quiets, and swipes the sleeve of his robe across his nose with a miserable, dry sniff. He frowns, sighs.] Not that it matters, I suppose. Not that it ever matters.
He is also, quite obviously, very drunk.]
Right. I think we can all agree that this is absolutely mad, right? And not even - not even all these things that are going 'round doing stuff without any sort of magic or tiny imps painting pictures inside them, that's not even what I'm talking about here, that part I could almost like, since it seems somewhat sensible, the principle of it. ...Although it still isn't, is it, because there's apparently all these powers and such, which totally throws that whole thing about being sensible right out the window. And being handed out like meat-pies or something too, with no thought as to who's getting them. M'sure that's not something that's going to blow up in anyone's face, is it? Probably literally, if I had my guess.
...Right, where was I going with this?
[there's a pause as Rincewind casts about for the tenuous line of focus that brought him here in the first place, and which he's sure to be appropriately horrified he followed when he sobers up tomorrow.
Apparently he finds it again, and slaps his hand (the one not currently holding a bottle of wine) on the wooden trunk for emphasis. The chest lifts its lid some, in grumpy protest.] - Heroes! Heroes, that's what I was getting at - this whole business about people being fished out of their own perfectly good - well, okay, mostly good. Somewhat. ...At least familiar worlds, and then being asked to - to - to do what? Be a hero? I've met heroes, you know, quite more than I'd have liked, and do you know what heroes are?
Dangerous, that's what. [firmly.] Dangerous, utterly reckless madmen, that's what heroes are. People who have as much trouble realizing why you shouldn't go barreling into dark caves full of horrible monsters to get the gold, or rescue the girl, as they do recognizing a good thing when they have it. Which is living. ...Which they risk. ...To be heroes.
But you know the most important thing about them? [he continues, fervently] The most important thing about heroes is that - ! Well, it's that - !
...It's that I'm not one.
[Rincewind quiets, and swipes the sleeve of his robe across his nose with a miserable, dry sniff. He frowns, sighs.] Not that it matters, I suppose. Not that it ever matters.
[action]
[She laughs lightly at the mere notion, and sips her tea. It actually turned out decent; she's starting to really get the hang of this technology thing!]
...An embodiment of death, you mean? [She considers this, brows furrowing. It's not unheard of for stories and poems to speak of death almost as a person, but...] I've seen a great many unholy abominations, including ones without skin, but none of them were actually called Death. Is it very different from a bonewalker?
[action]
The embodiment of Death. Not a. [firmly. This is an important distinction to make.] Bonewalkers - like zombies or something? The undead? This is nothing like that. This is the figure who comes to every single person who dies. Every. One.
[action]
[And she shakes her head.] No, no, not like zombies. A bonewalker is essentially a skeleton with a weapon. Zombies don't use weapons, and tend to still have some flesh, even if it's rotting. [...For someone who just said that death isn't an appropriate topic of discussion, she's awfully nonchalant about rotting flesh.] But why would I have seen something that appears when you die? I'm clearly very much alive. ...For that matter, how have you seen such a thing?
[action]
...And which somehow tasted better before they got on the topic of rotting flesh. Rincewind's face scrunches, and he sets his cup down for now.] All right, all right, you don't have to get into it like that. Really.
Because if you're a wizard or a witch you just have the ability to see him. Most people only get to when they, er, show up for their final meeting.
[he shifts a little, uncomfortably, at the following question.] ...Well, people have died around me. Erm. And apparently I've been suppose to, a few times.
[a pause.]
Several. Maybe. ...More than a hand full. But he keeps getting it wrong somehow. [much to the wizard's relief.]
[action]
[She takes another sip. It certainly tastes fine to her.]
Many people have died around me as well, and I've never seen any embodiment of death. Further proof that I'm not a witch, I suppose. But if you are still alive, then I must insist that you were not supposed to die. Otherwise you surely would have! [...She says with a cheerful smile.
And then pauses as something occurs to her.] ...You are still alive, are you not?
[action]
[although now he's having trouble not rolling his eyes.] You have this amazing ability to speak with authority on topics you really don't have any on, d'you know that?
[but he matches his pause with one of his own. There's actually a moment's hesitation, but then he shakes his head firmly] ...I am alive. Yeah, of course I am. Death would have collected me otherwise, so no, I am alive. - Do I not look alive?
[action]
[She waves a hand, still smiling brightly.] Oh, don't worry, you look quite alive, and I'm sure you look even more so when you're not inebriated. I only ask because it seems that people can be brought here by the Porter after they have died.
[Another sip of her tea.]
[action]
- I'm not that drunk.
[but he's not. denying it. that he is drunk. He scowls and sips at his tea as well - in defiance.]
I heard that. Also heard that you could die here and still come back, although I don't think I'll be testing that anytime soon.
JELLO BARRIER yes perfect I love it
I suppose I'll have to take your word for it.
[And she nods.] Yes, it has something to do with the-- [she frowns and taps her finger against her mug, trying to remember the word,] --oh, you know, the things they put in our blood. Nannies, or whatever they're called. I have no intention of testing that either, of course, but it's wonderful to know that we have such a safety net to fall back on if needed!
but what *flavor* would it be, this is most important
[Rincewind still finds himself immensely bothered every time it's dark enough for him to catch a glimpse of the glowing numbers on his wrist.]
Doesn't that bother you? ...Does anything bother you, for that matter, besides my drinking?
Lime, of course! The best flavour.
[Why be terrified when she can be insulted instead?]
So long as they behave themselves, however, and these nannies prove beneficial, I have decided to graciously overlook this breach in etiquette. I'm certain they meant well. It would be unheard of for a decent host to knowingly do any harm to a guest, after all! And what do you imagine they would possibly want to do?
Excellent choice
[Rincewind isn't often mischeivous, but when he is, he's a right bastard about it.]
Nanites. [he was going to let it slide, but the word she's using keeps making him think they have large, unpleasant women armed with brooms looking after each of them.] Oh, I could imagine a hundred terribly things they would want to do. You've a lot more faith in unwilling hosts than I do, it seems.
[somehow he's not terribly surprised to learn this.]
no subject
[She's got an ambitious glint in her eyes. She's writing that letter.
A shame it won't get anywhere because she doesn't know how addresses work or what stamps are.]And yes, that's what I said. [A dismissive wave of her hand.] It seems I've a lot more faith in many things than you do. But have no fear! Why, if they did try to do something awful to us, they'd have me to contend with!
no subject
[wow being a bit of a bastard has really improved his mood, thanks, L'Arachel.]
Oh I'd say you've faith enough for the both of us, yes. ...And you never did get into what they'd have to contend with, exactly.
no subject
[She ponders this briefly, then shakes her head.] No, no, this needs to be a personal, one-on-one correspondence. It's quite unseemly to stir up strife and complain about how someone runs their nation behind their back. [Never mind that they were sort of doing exactly that less than a minute ago.] If others have grievances of their own, they may write their own letters.
[She can't do everything around here, sheesh.]
Oh, but I did get into it! I told you, I have battled the Demon King and emerged victorious, therefore it stands to reason that there is nothing this realm can throw at me that I cannot overcome. I myself am a force to be reckoned with! My blessed Light magic is nothing to scoff at, and neither is my righteous wrath! [She says, quite cheerfully.]
no subject
"Light" magic. [he squints hard at her.] What the hell is that? Like fireworks? And it's a bit hard to imagine you being wrathful at most anything.
no subject
Yes, it is hard to imagine, isn't it? But believe it or not, I--who am typically the picture of gentleness--can unleash a wrath so righteous that darkness itself quakes in terror! As far as the forces of evil are concerned, I show no mercy!
But no, no, it's nothing at all like fireworks. It is light. Pure, holy light. [She beams.] If you'd like to see it, I shall be happy to show you!
no subject
[simply. He takes another sip of tea.]
Oh, surely. You'd give anyone a fright. [particularly if they were very afraid of stern talking-tos and finger-wagging.
But for all that he's teasing her now, he's... admittedly a little nervous about all this talk of Light magic. Nervous and strangely jealous and that's an unpleasant combination to have churning in one's stomach before bed. He shakes his head, looking away.] Another night, maybe. I'll take your word for it, for now.
no subject
Or perhaps she simply misheard him. Brushing the matter aside, she reaches for the teapot and refills her cup.]
Oh, no, not anyone! Only evildoers. [She responds earnestly, not even considering the possibility that he might be teasing. Why would anyone ever want to tease her?] Those who follow the path of justice have nothing to fear from me.
[And she looks a little disappointed that he doesn't want a demonstration of her magic at the moment, but nods nevertheless.] Another night, then. But don't forget! And I also wish to learn all about the types of magic in your world!