video

[glitterateur]

[There’s a lot of noise in the background of this video post. Like, way more noise than usual when Mabel’s face shows up on the network. One could say almost… exactly double the noise?]

Hi! Hey. Important question. I know everybody’s busy with stuff but this is a matter of life and death probably? Through forces beyond our control we have an animal that-- well look!

[The camera pans. Two twelve year old boys (who look suspiciously like tiny versions of the Stans) are riding a magnificent creature around a living room. Dipper watches anxiously, but seems resigned to the situation. He has the look of someone who has walked through the flames of hell and can now withstand anything. The camera stays on the chaos long enough for one of the Stan kids to fall off the… thing. The lower part of the thing. The part you can conceivably ride on.]

It’s a centaurtaur! And we’re not sure how it breathes? Or eats. We have some, um, theories but we can’t test it because we can't reach. So if anyone’s ever had any experience with an animal like this or you’re pretty tall and willing to help us do some research please let us know! Thanks.

Comments

[rideme]

Thought up... that thing.

[He does not believe you child.]

[ursawhiner]

We were fighting an interdimensional math wizard who was trying to eat my brain! I don't know what she was thinking!

[rideme]

...




Yeah, okay, but why is it here?

[ursawhiner]

One of Ford's powers is a magic die. And one of the rolls summons the centaurtaur.

[rideme]

You should have lead off with that bullshit...

Do any of the rolls... I dunno... de-summon it?

[ursawhiner]

We didn't really want to try. What if it summons another centaurtaur?

[That's too many butts.]

[rideme]

Can't you just ask him?

[ursawhiner]

Uh. [Dipper angles the camera so the two 12 year olds trying to climb the centaurtaur are in view again.]

Noooooooot at the moment.

[rideme]

...



You've got to be kidding me.

[ursawhiner]

I know. It's the worst time for it to happen.

[rideme]

For fuck's sake...

[ursawhiner]

It's been kind of crazy around here already. Then the whole centaurtaur thing...

[Dipper really, really wants a nap. And real food. Food not from Chad.]

[rideme]

Yeah, well, join the "it's fucking weird" club.

There's tattoos and everything to go with it.

[ursawhiner]

Tattoos?! [That was exceptionally squeaky even for Dipper.]

Uh, I mean... Things are always weird for us. Just not this level of weird?

[rideme]

... I guess you could get a shirt instead.

So there's levels of weird now, huh?

[ursawhiner]

Not officially. But some days are definitely more level 5 than level 2.

[rideme]

Oh. Yeah, I get you.

2 is like - war chief throwing goats at the castle wall. 5 is like "go wandering in a place dreams and demons come from and fight some spider shit".

[ursawhiner]

I think anything with demons is automatically a 10. Or do you mean you just went to like, another dimension where demons could have been, but they didn't actually show up?

[rideme]

Ohhhh no. There were demons.

There were more demons than there are scars on my a... entire self.

[ursawhiner]

Then you were definitely at a 10. Maybe more? I've never-- [Had to deal with multiple demons. But that's not true any more.]

Anyways! Things are just really weird right now.

[rideme]

More. Definitely more.

[Because he hates demons. So much.]

Yeah. Fair enough.

[ursawhiner]

Is this kind of what it feels like when we're all over at your place? Just the general chaos part.

[rideme]

... well, sort of. But the less messy kind of chaos.