maskormenace | text ; forward dated to about 3 AM (aka it's shitposting time)

[Good old Jaime Reyes has been here for over a year and a half now, and what has he not done yet? That's right; an accidental post.

This one takes the form of a series of texts, each chunk of text being published as a new post as he blearily smashes at his phone's keyboard... complete with auto-correct and typos.]

Hey
Hey Wally wake up you wouldn't believe the dream I had
Okay so EVERYONE had a beard you had this giant ginger monstrosity
Ken had like this giant wizard beard and dick had those things what do you call them
giant sideburn thingies
minayos was freaky right blue and Kashmir wouldn't stop twirling hers and will's was beautiful
also milagro had one that touched the ground for some reason

if you know juicy nasty [yes, that's jyushimatsu] he was there too because I think he's haunting me

anyway EVERYONE was acting like it was totally normal and were like hey wheres your beard so I grew one but then all my teeth fell out which isnt fair because everyone else had their teeth AND beards

wally
wally
wally I answer literally every single one of your stupid texts
wake up or else I'm coming over there and dragging you out of bed

jk I'll ask dick to do it for me

[Expect mortified responses once his phone buzzes him awake, everyone... and if your character has CR with them, feel free to comment to find out what beautiful facial hair they would receive.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...Gross. :(]

i hope your future dreams
treat you and your teeth much better

i have to ask though
what kind of beard did joaquin have?

Aw it's not a big deal. Google teeth falling out dreams like everyone has them. Except you I guess

He had one of those big beards with flowers in it like some sort of weird ancient hipster

You too!

i think i'll pass
sorry amigo

whaaaaat
we had matching beards
with FLOWERS in them??

Yeah! It's totally a thing now

[IMG LINK: HERE.]

You were both very pretty

[It takes him a few minutes to respond because he literally can't stop laughing.]

oh wow
wow
this is AMAZING!

it almost makes me want
to grow a beard
(almost)

maybe i can convince
joaquin to grow one heheh

Man the flower beard thing just weirds me out. It looks itchy! But I can see you doing it. It'd go with your whole sensitive musician thing

Convince Joaquin to do it I wanna see

hahah you think so?
i cant really imagine myself
with a beard personally
flowers though!
that i can do

i will talk to him
about this but
somehow i get the feeling
he wont agree to it

You'll have to join me and Shinji for No Shave November. Then we'll put that beard thing to the test

You don't think so? Not even if we tell him it's popular right now?

no shave november
what is this

that is a good question
if its really popular right now
then maybe
maybe he would do it

You don't shave at all during November and use the money you'd spend on razors and shaving cream and stuff to cancer foundations instead. Maybe a little more cuz it's not like I spend that much anyway

I'm not sure if I'd say REALLY popular... but it is on the internet!

what a fantastic idea!

i don’t like seeing
beards or mustaches on my face but
for a good cause?
its an easy thing to do
for just one month.

joaquin doesn’t use the internet much but
maybe we if we show him
a lot of pictures…

No? Why not?

Ohhh man. Okay we're doing it. I'm making a list of pictures now I had like three cups of coffee anyway so I feel like I can do anything

it just feels weird for me
a little like wearing shoes
on the wrong feet
i dont exactly know why

hahah! go jaime go!
i don’t know what coffee youre
drinking but if it makes you
unstoppable then i also want some

Well there's a whole pot on so come down if you want some

But only if you don't want to get back to sleep

are you trying to
stay up all night jaime?

Figured that my phone wasn't gonna stop buzzing for the rest of the night and I only had three more hours of sleep anyway

All I gotta do is survive the early shift and I'm solid

wow
that is dedication

well
i dont have anywhere to be
in the morning
if you want company
i can certainly sit with you

Yeah come on down take a load off

Witness my humiliation first hand

Also I think I want to make some bacon

hah you make it sound like
a spectator sport when you
word it that way

i dont really eat bacon but
i can find something else to eat
no problem

Well sure it's your kitchen too there's gotta be plenty for you

Just take some of this coffee off my hands. It's better with condensed milk

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