maskormenace | STAGE 01

Coming back is always the hardest part.

[It’s a blunt statement to start a network post off with, and the teenager voicing it doesn’t sound comfortable with it. Or with doing this at all. In fact, he sounds like he’s completely exhausted, voice strained and words running slightly together.]

Sorry, I guess I should make that clearer for those who haven’t gone home and been ported back yet. If you didn’t know, you forget everything about this world when you leave it and if you return, all the memories you had come back all at once. It’s like… [He pauses, trying to figure out how to best phrase this.] Two different versions of you, suddenly overlapping. Feeling everything they felt. Remembering everything they did. It’s happened to me twice now, and it’s...difficult. To try and remember that they’re both you. At least it is for me, anyway. What's more important, what happened in your world or what happened in this one? Does it even make a difference?

[Another even awkwarder pause ensues.]

Um, right. Introduction. I should have started with that. My name is Shinji Ikari. I’m fourt-[wait that's not right anymore]sixteen years old. Until a few hours ago, I lived in Neo-Tokyo-3, Japan. Yes, most worlds don’t have a city like that. I know, believe me. Like I mentioned, I’ve been here before, and I lived in the City before that for about two years. I-

[He trails off into nothing. There’s silence for a few seconds. He could leave it at that, but...he wants keep moving forward, doesn’t he? If not, then what was the point of any of this? The quiet is broken by a small, nervous chuckle.]

I guess none of that really matters now, does it? I’m starting my life over from scratch.

When I was here last, I tried...to stay off the network. I wanted to keep my head down, and pretend to be normal. When I did that, I pushed people away. People who cared about me. I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to be that person again. So this is my promise to be better and making it here in the open, where everyone can hear, will make it harder for me to forget that. Hopefully.

[ All of that came out almost at once, and he hadn’t actually intended it to. Stopping just didn’t feel like an option either.]

Sorry for taking up so much of your time, everyone. It’s - it’s good to be here. [Or anywhere, really.]

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[blah blah words blah he stopped listening about halfway through this long ramble. Shut the hell up kid. But ALSO holy SHIT that's a familiar sounding city name.]

Neo Tokyo? You said Neo Tokyo?!

[Well, he wasn't expecting someone to actually respond to that part, which is why his reply sounds more confused than anything.]

Um...yes? Tokyo-3, where Hakone used to be. Not the one where Matsumoto used to be.

[why did they name them both after tokyo he's never actually thought about that before this moment]

Edited 2016-05-03 01:50 (UTC)

Do you need someone to talk to?

I'm-

[He stops before he lies and finishes that sentence with "fine".]

Yes. I don't really know what to say, though. It's been- [an absolute mental breakdown that I'm not entirely sure all actually happened?] It's been a very long day.

... that's not it.

[DON'T DISAPPOINT HIM LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE SHIT. He fumbles for a second, and then locks the conversation. Because screw you, outsiders.

... if there's more than ONE Neo Tokyo... and he didn't list a first one... could this idiot be from the future? Some people were. Okay, one last test before he's genuinely disappointed.]

How about Tokyo Bay?

Let me know, alright? You don't seem so good and I don't think you should be alone.

[So. Hmm. What to talk about if Shinji doesn't have anything to say?]

I'm Aerith. I just got here a month ago. I didn't know the porter could bring people back.

You mean Old Tokyo? Gone. There was a nuclear attack after Second Impact. Whatever isn't underwater now is radioactive. [Assuming his history classes hadn't lied about that, too.]

No, no, you're right. I definitely don't want to be alone.

[Possibly ever again. At least this gives him something else to focus on right now.]

It's nice to meet you, Aerith. And...yeah, though sometimes it's not always the same version of a person, or they don't always remember being here before. This is my third time through that I know of.

What second impact?! I'm not talking about the old city! I'm talking about Neo Tokyo! The real one!!!

[COME ON YOU DON'T GET TO NAMEDROP NEO FUCKING TOKYO AND THEN NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS!]

[Wow, this guy is getting loud real quick.]

Hey, just calm down, okay? Listen, I'm probably not even from your world so you don't need to worry about any of that. Sorry to disappoint you but there's plenty of ruined Tokyos out there in the multiverse. [He's done this song and dance before, Tetsuo!]

Now that you mention it, my friend Riku told me his friend Sora left once and when he came back later, he didn't remember anything. It's... really weird here.

Mm. That sort of situation happens a lot. I'd say you get used to it, but I don't think that's really possible. You just kind of learn to deal with it.

[Well. That sucks.]

Do you think anyone you knew before is still here? Who were your friends?

[And there's the other thing Shinji was trying very hard not to think about. He's glad that Misato's necklace was ported in with him. It gives him something to grasp tight and focus on for a few seconds before finally forcing out an answer.]

I checked the date when I ported in. The last time I was around, it was two years ago. Most people don't really stay that long, or at least they didn't in the City.

[He can't make himself say "no" or even "I hope they are", just a statement of fact.]

Edited 2016-05-03 02:46 (UTC)

But maybe some are...

[She sighs. Maybe she shouldn't have asked that.]

I don't have any friends from home here, either, but most people are really nice. I'm sure you'll make more friends.

[ Kanaya doesn't look quite like she did the last time she was here. A little older, a little taller, maybe her hair's a little longer. It's hard to say, it's still pretty short.

The most important difference is she looks like she could be happy, even beyond faking it til she makes it. She gives him an understated smile. ]

At least some of those people who care about you are still here. [ Well, maybe only one. ]

Hello, Shinji.

There's not 'plenty of ruined Tokyos' - I've checked. All anyone else knows is just 'Tokyo'! And then, the first bastard to mention Neo Tokyo isn't even talking about Neo Tokyo!

[Hey, he's an emotional minefield! It's not Aerith's fault ~~it's mostly his dad's~~]

I don't know about most, but there probably are a few. You seem to be one of them, so...thanks. For taking the time out to talk to me. [He considers that a lot of effort to expend for him honestly.]

[Oh this dude is just a delight.]

Then you haven't been talking to the right people, and it's not my fault our cities have part of the same name! Go be angry at the Porter or something.

[There's just Kaneda. And Kaneda doesn't count. He's ... well, just Kaneda. No one else around who can tell him what really happened.

Which is all he wants to know.]

You think I'm not?

...Kanaya?

[There's the sound of Shinji fumbling with the comm before the video feed clicks on. To contrast, he looks almost identical to the last time Kanaya saw him, with the possible exception of the dark circles under his eyes. His mouth moves uselessly for a few seconds. There's so much he wants to say (starting with "I'm sorry") that it sticks in his throat and refuses to come out. Even he could manage the words, it's been years for her and months for him. How does this conversation even start?

He closes his eyes and finally gets a response out.]

Are-are we still friends?

Clearly not enough, since you still have anger to take out on someone completely innocent.

[Though Shinji admits he could also stand to not be such an ass here. He sighs.]

I wasn't being totally sarcastic. I honestly am sorry I can't help you.

[try anger enough for everything. There's no limit.]

Aaagh! Dammit!

[There's genuine anguish layered underneath the frustration, but he either doesn't notice or doesn't care enough to cut off. After a moment, he breathes in and snarls back into the comm.]

FINE! Then answer this. If you're not from my Neo Tokyo, what's the deal with yours?!

[ She chuckles at him lightly. ]

I would say the fact that you remember my name is a good indication for the affirmative.

Hmm...

[She's not sure if she likes his tone. It's like he feels guilty just for talking to her. What a mess.]

If you need me, I'm in Nonah 6. I have a garden out front.

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