STAGE 01 - [voice]

[lastnerv]

Coming back is always the hardest part.

[It’s a blunt statement to start a network post off with, and the teenager voicing it doesn’t sound comfortable with it. Or with doing this at all. In fact, he sounds like he’s completely exhausted, voice strained and words running slightly together.]

Sorry, I guess I should make that clearer for those who haven’t gone home and been ported back yet. If you didn’t know, you forget everything about this world when you leave it and if you return, all the memories you had come back all at once. It’s like… [He pauses, trying to figure out how to best phrase this.] Two different versions of you, suddenly overlapping. Feeling everything they felt. Remembering everything they did. It’s happened to me twice now, and it’s...difficult. To try and remember that they’re both you. At least it is for me, anyway. What's more important, what happened in your world or what happened in this one? Does it even make a difference?

[Another even awkwarder pause ensues.]

Um, right. Introduction. I should have started with that. My name is Shinji Ikari. I’m fourt-[wait that's not right anymore]sixteen years old. Until a few hours ago, I lived in Neo-Tokyo-3, Japan. Yes, most worlds don’t have a city like that. I know, believe me. Like I mentioned, I’ve been here before, and I lived in the City before that for about two years. I-

[He trails off into nothing. There’s silence for a few seconds. He could leave it at that, but...he wants keep moving forward, doesn’t he? If not, then what was the point of any of this? The quiet is broken by a small, nervous chuckle.]

I guess none of that really matters now, does it? I’m starting my life over from scratch.

When I was here last, I tried...to stay off the network. I wanted to keep my head down, and pretend to be normal. When I did that, I pushed people away. People who cared about me. I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to be that person again. So this is my promise to be better and making it here in the open, where everyone can hear, will make it harder for me to forget that. Hopefully.

[ All of that came out almost at once, and he hadn’t actually intended it to. Stopping just didn’t feel like an option either.]

Sorry for taking up so much of your time, everyone. It’s - it’s good to be here. [Or anywhere, really.]

Comments

voice;

[iamtetsuo]

[blah blah words blah he stopped listening about halfway through this long ramble. Shut the hell up kid. But ALSO holy SHIT that's a familiar sounding city name.]

Neo Tokyo? You said Neo Tokyo?!

Re: voice;

[lastnerv]

[Well, he wasn't expecting someone to actually respond to that part, which is why his reply sounds more confused than anything.]

Um...yes? Tokyo-3, where Hakone used to be. Not the one where Matsumoto used to be.

[why did they name them both after tokyo he's never actually thought about that before this moment]

Voice; > private

[iamtetsuo]

... that's not it.

[DON'T DISAPPOINT HIM LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE SHIT. He fumbles for a second, and then locks the conversation. Because screw you, outsiders.

... if there's more than ONE Neo Tokyo... and he didn't list a first one... could this idiot be from the future? Some people were. Okay, one last test before he's genuinely disappointed.]

How about Tokyo Bay?

voice.

[23wishes]

Do you need someone to talk to?

voice.

[lastnerv]

I'm-

[He stops before he lies and finishes that sentence with "fine".]

Yes. I don't really know what to say, though. It's been- [an absolute mental breakdown that I'm not entirely sure all actually happened?] It's been a very long day.

[23wishes]

Let me know, alright? You don't seem so good and I don't think you should be alone.

[So. Hmm. What to talk about if Shinji doesn't have anything to say?]

I'm Aerith. I just got here a month ago. I didn't know the porter could bring people back.

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ Kanaya doesn't look quite like she did the last time she was here. A little older, a little taller, maybe her hair's a little longer. It's hard to say, it's still pretty short.

The most important difference is she looks like she could be happy, even beyond faking it til she makes it. She gives him an understated smile. ]

At least some of those people who care about you are still here. [ Well, maybe only one. ]

Hello, Shinji.

video.

[lastnerv]

...Kanaya?

[There's the sound of Shinji fumbling with the comm before the video feed clicks on. To contrast, he looks almost identical to the last time Kanaya saw him, with the possible exception of the dark circles under his eyes. His mouth moves uselessly for a few seconds. There's so much he wants to say (starting with "I'm sorry") that it sticks in his throat and refuses to come out. Even he could manage the words, it's been years for her and months for him. How does this conversation even start?

He closes his eyes and finally gets a response out.]

Are-are we still friends?

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ She chuckles at him lightly. ]

I would say the fact that you remember my name is a good indication for the affirmative.

video;

[earnedmystripes]

I think they're both important. After all, like you said, they're both part of what made you you, right?

video;

[lastnerv]

The "me" that exists here, yeah, but I might just be a temporary state. There's no control over how long I could be here. Does that make me more or less real than the one in my world?

[He's hoping it's "more" right now.]

video;

[earnedmystripes]

Why's it gotta be one or the other, though? I mean...you couldn't be the person you are now without the person back home having existed, right? But that person...even if they forget, they still have the potential to be who you are now, yeah?? So even if you're gonna forget, there's always gonna be that...bridge to connect you, I guess. Like, a certain kinda..."Shinji-ness" to all possible Shinji Ikaris.

[That sounded way cooler and made much more sense in Kotetsu's head. Oh well. /youtried.jpg]

Right?

video

[resipiscent]

I think that... it's really hard to get by without anyone else. So... it's best that you're doing this, I think. Even though it's tough now.

[lastnerv]

[Oh hey, weird hair colors. That reminds him of home.]

Yeah. Things have been tough for a while, but I've gotten use to that. Too used to it, I guess. I wasn't really sure of what the way forward was, but I hope this is the right choice.

[Because otherwise he's totally out of ideas.]

[resipiscent]

I think so. All you can do is -- move in whatever direction you can see. Everything else will follow.

[Maybe he doesn't know what he's talking about. But that's what it feels like from his perspective.]

voice;

[valuemeal]

[ There's too many things in this guy's introduction that don't really make sense to Hyunsoo, but at least he's learned you just need to file some stuff away as "other worlds being weird" and leave it at that.

What's more important is-- ]

They port people back home and then back here sometimes?! Seriously? What's the point in that?

voice;

[lastnerv]

Who knows why that machine does anything? I've never been able to figure out a reason for who stays gone and who comes back. Maybe it's some kind of glitch.

[valuemeal]

It has to be, why else would it happen so randomly..

[ Otherwise it'd just be a waste of effort, right? If it'd send people back for some reason, but then thought differently and brought them back.. ]

Or it's just messing with us.

[cuff]

Does it have to get that existential or can't both worlds just be, yknow, important for their own reasons.

[lastnerv]

Maybe, but I think it's natural to place emphasis on one over another. If every experience was equally important, then nothing would really be important at all, would it?

[cuff]

Yeah, sure- i'll give you that one. Eating lunch is just never gonna mean the same as, I don't know, having a kid. I just meant that both places, home and here- they both still matter.

[Video]

[tactile_telekinesis]

[Oh wow, did this guy nail it on the head or what? Kon has just gone through the same thing. He had been here before and he remembers that, nothing feels new but his memories from home are so fresh. They only happened recently.]

I get what you mean. [There he shrugs.] I dunno how to look at this. I mean, I had a life here before, there's people I remember, events I remember. But I was home not long ago, real home. I got friends there, but I made some friends here too.

I don't want to think of everything as separate but it's really, really confusing.

[Video]

[lastnerv]

If you think that's bad, just wait for the next time, or the time after that. [Yeah, he has nothing reassuring to say for you here.] How long were you back home for compared to how long you were here?

Video.

[skyhiiigh]

Oh. I hadn't heard about this before! Thank you and thank you again for sharing that with us.

Shinji, it is nice and nice again to meet you. I am Keith, Keith Goodman. Although I cannot say I have experienced it for myself, perhaps it would be better to consider what is most beneficial for you. If you can, cherish those memories of what was important when you came here before, in order to help you readjust. And if you don't have any, make new ones with new friends!

[He hasn't heard of a Neo-Tokyo-3 before...but at least he's hoping Shinji will settle in okay after his experiences! He was sixteen, he said? That was quite young, quite young indeed.]

Are you a student? I hear the academies are quite conducive to making friends with like-minded people.

Video.

[lastnerv]

[There's like ten seconds of blank staring on Shinji's end as he tries to process whether or not this guy is for real. Finally, he reaches the conclusion that...yeah, maybe he is.]

Um. Thank you? I am a student but I don't know about any academies. I guess I'll just...go to whatever school I'm supposed to. [Education is fairly low on his priority list. Then again, so is most everything else.]