maskormenace | ♫001

[ Video switches on to show a man with a ginger ponytail in a hideous green v-neck frowning deeply and looking incredibly disappointed and/or frustrated, sitting on a park bench as dusk settles in.]

Okay, I've been here for less than a day, so would someone mind explaining to me how it is that the United States government can allocate all these funds to keep us imPorts in nicely furnished, comfortable homes in several cities, and expect native businesses and companies to provide us with paid employment, yet its own citizens are still facing what seem like absurd rates of homelessness? Like I said, I only just arrived, but it didn't take me long to find people who have lost their jobs and homes to make way for the growing imPort population.

[ Someone spent his whole first day in Heropa in a park, befriending homeless people. Continuing on, he sighs heavily, as though this is personally wronging and inconveniencing him, not people he doesn't even know. ]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we're to blame for this. After all, it's not as though it's our fault some unstable technology yanked us from our worlds and lives. Of course this world's government would have to provide for us until we can return home. But every single one of us has the responsibility to give back.

So, what are you doing to help? I'll be taking donations to start up a charity for natives displaced by our presence, if you can't come up with anything on your own.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ask anyone. Ask them about the Governator.

No, because I don't want to sound like a moron.

Please, Hartley, live a little.

Sometimes I really do wonder why I hang out with you.

Is that any way to talk to your oldest friend? And when he's buying you dinner, too.

I'm not going to sweet talk you, if that's what you're after. You know damn well you're annoying.

There's a world of in-between there, Pipes.

Is there?

[ He grins around a sip of his beer. ]

Between sweet-talking someone and wondering why you hang out with them at all? For your sake, I'd hope so.

I meant with you.

Be nice or I'll take back that salad.

[ No he won't, he hates salad. ]

Ha.

[ He takes a bite of his salad, almost daring James to take it. ]

...It's good to see you. I mean, I literally just did, by my perspective, but you know what I mean.

See, now you're just saying that because I called you out. And because you don't want to share your salad.

I'm being serious! [ He laughs, though. ]

Mick was happier to see me.

[ Maybe if he makes it into a competition. ]

How much happier?

You can't really quantify something like that. But it was definitely at least 30%.

Funny, it sounds like you just absolutely quantified it.

[ THAT IS THE JOKE ]

Also I got a hug.

[ He rolls his eyes, but chuckles. ]

Do you want me to hug you?

None of this is any fun if I have to ask.

Well, I'd say these crab cakes more than earned you one, if you want it.

[ He's teasing, but part of him is considering actually hugging him. ]

[ See, now Piper's gone and made it weird. Or maybe he's the one who made it weird. Whatever. James rolls his eyes, casually unaffected, and finishes off his drink. ]

They can't possibly be that good.

[ He finishes the last of the crab cakes. ]

Too late to find out now. Anyway, Mick's always been more the hugging type than me anyway.

Your loss. I know where to get my supply now, at least.

(no subject)

socialactivillain - 2016-06-15 21:45 (UTC) - Expand