Rincewind (
wizzardly) wrote in
maskormenace2016-08-03 10:14 pm
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Entry tags:
- fuu hououji | zephyr,
- jonathan crane | scarecrow,
- † april ludgate | janet snakehole,
- † billy kaplan | wiccan,
- † darlene | n/a,
- † dorian gray | n/a,
- † frederick chilton | chief of staff!!,
- † james patrick march | the master,
- † jeff winger | wingman,
- † ken kaneki | one eyed king,
- † klarion bleak | n/a,
- † leonard snart | captain cold,
- † lucifer | n/a,
- † mabel pines | n/a,
- † mark vorkosigan | peter michael kane,
- † mr. gold | rumpelstiltskin,
- † richard gansey | raven king,
- † rincewind | n/a,
- † sally mckenna | hypodermic sally,
- † sasha blouse | n/a,
- † sunset shimmer | n/a
video; open to action for Hotel Castile residents
This - !
[is an angry wizard, actually, in a lovely little hotel room. A wizard who is only on his second glass of wine. But he seems to be referencing the movie he's waving angrily at his communicator.
It's "The Wizard of Oz".]
- This is terrible! An absolute mockery, is what it is! I've had so many people bringing this up, and I think to watch it for myself, and I find - I find - right, so, the wizard is a fake. Let's address that first of all, shall we? They all go on this big quest to get to the wizard, and he's fake, but how did the people not realize that in the first place, that's what I want to know.
He doesn't even have a pointy hat.
[Rincewind waves a hand.]
It's all a bad message, is what it is! Making wizards look bad! And look, the whole thing about witches being green - I mean honestly, witches are scary enough on their own without all that. That's obviously added. And the flying monkeys -
[he shudders. Never mind, not addressing those. Those were terrifying.]
But I've certainly never heard anything about them melting with a bit of water. Even trained hydrophobes don't do that. Bloody ridiculous.
The whole thing is ridiculous, is what I'm really getting at. We're supposed to believe a scarecrow which can talk and walk about is brainless? Or what about it trying to get everyone to buy that the strange man with ribbons in his hair is "a lion"? And ignoring that whole bit about how this Dorothy person could have just clicked her heels the whole time, enchanted shoes aren't what they're cracked up to be in the first place, the University can tell you. Half of her would have probably been teleported back to Kansas faster than the other half, and that would have certainly been a bloody mess. Very gruesome.
Anyway, it was hideous and I don't understand why so many of you reference it in the first place.
[two thumbs down, says newly self-appointed movie critic Rincewind; only one and a half poorly-sequined stars.]
[is an angry wizard, actually, in a lovely little hotel room. A wizard who is only on his second glass of wine. But he seems to be referencing the movie he's waving angrily at his communicator.
It's "The Wizard of Oz".]
- This is terrible! An absolute mockery, is what it is! I've had so many people bringing this up, and I think to watch it for myself, and I find - I find - right, so, the wizard is a fake. Let's address that first of all, shall we? They all go on this big quest to get to the wizard, and he's fake, but how did the people not realize that in the first place, that's what I want to know.
He doesn't even have a pointy hat.
[Rincewind waves a hand.]
It's all a bad message, is what it is! Making wizards look bad! And look, the whole thing about witches being green - I mean honestly, witches are scary enough on their own without all that. That's obviously added. And the flying monkeys -
[he shudders. Never mind, not addressing those. Those were terrifying.]
But I've certainly never heard anything about them melting with a bit of water. Even trained hydrophobes don't do that. Bloody ridiculous.
The whole thing is ridiculous, is what I'm really getting at. We're supposed to believe a scarecrow which can talk and walk about is brainless? Or what about it trying to get everyone to buy that the strange man with ribbons in his hair is "a lion"? And ignoring that whole bit about how this Dorothy person could have just clicked her heels the whole time, enchanted shoes aren't what they're cracked up to be in the first place, the University can tell you. Half of her would have probably been teleported back to Kansas faster than the other half, and that would have certainly been a bloody mess. Very gruesome.
Anyway, it was hideous and I don't understand why so many of you reference it in the first place.
[two thumbs down, says newly self-appointed movie critic Rincewind; only one and a half poorly-sequined stars.]
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[ but as for Rincewind's question.... ]
Really, the initial point of my case was I just didn't want to grow old. I made my wish for immortality after I saw a portrait of myself and realized that while I would grow old and decrepit, the portrait would never age a single day.
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[sooooooo that "portrait" in the title of the book isn't metaphorical. Wow, he really does need to get around to his Summer Reading List.]
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Again, you really need to read my book.
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[ well actually it's hidden in Will's attic because WILL GRAHAM IS A BUTTMUNCH and you don't steal friends portraits!!! but dodo doesn't know that. ]
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You know, you'd think with a weakness quite that large you'd be less keen to antagonize people.
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I suppose I've heard wrong.
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[ that entirely 100% correct idea. there's a pause and a siiiiigh ]
Honestly Rincewind, you're acting strange. You sure you're alright?
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I'm more concerned with you, Dorian. Are you feeling all right? Because from what I understand, you've been hacking your lungs out.
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You must be mistaken: I don't get sick.
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Handy, that.
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If you're insinuating something about me, then go ahead and say it.
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You cut out and sent your organs to Dr. Chilton.
[what the fuck is wrong with you, Dorian?]
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I didn't do any of that! I'll admit that those are my organs but cutting me up and sending them? That was all Will's doing.
[ after Dorian did the same thing to Will for a while but DETAILS, DETAILS. ]
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You just tripped and fell into the knife, did you? For months? Just the innocent organ donor with no interest in what happened to the organs he donated?
I mean, come on. At least do me the courtesy of coming up with a better excuse, Dorian, it's damned insulting.
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Besides, apparently those sorts of gift baskets were a daily occurrence back in their Baltimore!
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Nothing about their sort being used to it makes that all right!
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Chilton deserved to be knocked off his high horse, after all.
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That was a terrible thing to do to him. I like him, you know. He's been nothing but good to me. I know people find him difficult to get on with sometimes, but they think the same of you too. I'd be just as upset if someone had done this to you.
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Of course it was cruel. That's the entire point of it.
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I don't understand it. You've got all this time - lifetimes upon lifetimes - and you waste it on this. On being petty and cruel. Because someone annoyed you.
Bloody worthless, is what it is. I hope you're satisfied. I really do.
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I hope Will's getting the same level of vitriol as I am. After all, he was equally petty and cruel—though it's a bit worse because I never gave a damn about Chilton. He and Will were friends.
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...I've been staying at a hotel since I found out.
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