failed experiment (anonymous text)

[4thdimensional]

What's happening, people?

I'm at my wit's frazzled end here, and I am hoping against hope that one of y'all can help.

When you've screwed up seriously with a friend, and you're being iced out, how do you break the silence? I'm losing my grip here, and the thought that we'll never again be tight hurts worse than hell.

[Not seen over text: Doc's scrunched-up face, both from the personal turmoil he's dug for himself and the furious rifling through modern reference books as he desperately tries to disguise his 'voice'.]

Comments

[driftsintobuffetline]

You fight them. Trust me. Worked for me.

If a guy named Caboose shows up to tell you to hug it out? Tell him to take a hike.
Hugging helps, though, if they're into that.

But mostly just go at it with words.

...normal words. Not this 1001 Words Your 90s Teen Uses shit.

anontext

[4thdimensional]

[Somewhere, his head's buried in his hands. He takes a bit longer than usual to respond as he reconsiders his approach to this 'trying to not sound like himself' business.]

That's Step 2. Step 1 is being heard, and it's the one I'm stuck at.

[unbreaker]

offer to let them say their piece first. you might be the one with shit to say for screwing up, but chances are they got a lot on their chest too and they got every right to let you know how you made them feel.

probably after getting it all out there they'll be more willing to listen to you.

good luck, man. it's tough being on the outs with someone...but in my experience, if you're as good of friends as you think you were, there's a good chance you can repair things and grow from this.

[4thdimensional]

You're likely right. I didn't listen or understand what they felt, and they need that clear shot. Thank you.

[monge]

rub their tummy

[4thdimensional]

...I don't think that will work, but thank you.

[But he will keep that in mind if he ever upsets Komasan this way.]

[doesntdomuch]

I agree that trying to hear their side of the story would be a good idea, as well as letting them know that you still care about them.

Going on an adventure together couldn't hurt but friendship rebuilding adventures aren't really a thing you can force.

[4thdimensional]

Right, but it's a good thought.

Have you done one of these friendship adventures?

text;

[infomodder]

Depends on your friend. There is no one right answer. People react differently and that has to be taken into consideration.

[except he's reading all the other responses because...reasons...]

text;

[4thdimensional]

Yes, true. But from many ideas, I should find one or two.

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[hooffaceturn]

[DID SOMEONE SAY FRIENDSHIP TROUBLES??]

You can't...really force someone into talking to you again.

I know it's probably not the answer you want to hear but, you might have to give it some time, and it might take a long time depending on what happened between the two of you.

text

[4thdimensional]

And if that time is never...

Well, I've made the biggest mistake of my life. No undoing it this time.

text;

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Because WILL GRAHAM replied to this, and Chilton is PROJECTING.]

Perhaps you should give the offended party their space.

text;

[4thdimensional]

I am, but. I need to do that indefinitely, right?

text.

[glowsferatu]

apologizing is a good start
assuming you havent already tried and the freezing out occurred in response
if thats the case youll simply have to wait until theyre ready to speak with you again

text.

[4thdimensional]

Well, yes, it blew up in my face. I can only hope for another chance.

text;

[tacticianing]

[Ah. This, he has some very painful experience with.]

Be sure you understand your error in order to apologize as genuinely as you can. It's hard to say beyond that.

text;

[4thdimensional]

The more I think on it, the clearer it becomes. I only hope that I'm right.

[textualhealing]

Holy gnarly diction, Batman. The early 90s called, they want their vocab back.

[4thdimensional]

[Oh good, at least he managed to get an era other than his native one. That helps.]

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

[momentaryspring]

You're just going to have to bite the bullet and apologize to them, unless it's too embarrassing.

In which case you may be able to make up for it somehow. Like saving their life from imminent disaster! Then they'll have to forgive you!

[4thdimensional]

But that would require engineering a disaster, and that's far too much a risk.

[Text]

[caduceusvalkyrie]

If you haven't already and you're the one in the wrong, then you should try and apologise. If they don't want to hear it right then, give it some time and they might come to you ready to hear what you have to say. Don't push it though, that could make things worse.

If you were extremely close friends before things went wrong, be patient. You might find that if you're forgiven, you'll still never be as...tight as you were before. That's something to be aware of.

[Text]

[4thdimensional]

That last part's my biggest fear, but all we can do with pain is live with it and learn from it.

[hisheartsdesire]

Depending on what's happened, apologising probably has a 50% chance of working.
And if you've tried that already, only for it to turn out badly, then it depends on the person.
You can wait it out if they're that sort, or you could confront them in person.
Face-to-face instead of via these devices, because that shows more dedication to patching things up.

[4thdimensional]

Finding them's simple enough. I'll be there when it's time.

[classification]

Apologize and give them space and time to return on their own. You cannot force a friendship to resume where it has left off when a grievous error has occurred. Make it known you are willing to listen when they are ready.

And actually do that.

[4thdimensional]

I will. It hurts, but I've dug my own grave there.

[douchebag]

Screwed up how? Did you kill your friend? Because trust me, that friend? He ain't gonna forgive you.

[4thdimensional]

...well, no. It could be worse? It's more of a trust issue.

[thelimitdoesnotexist]

depends on how much damage is done.

if you hurt them too much you must let go. if you truly think you can salvage what you have then prove it. prove you have moved beyond your mistakes.

[4thdimensional]

I don't know which yet, but he's absolutely worth fighting for.

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

you should say that to them! what you just said right here about the hell hurting. your friend's gotta know how much they mean to you!

[4thdimensional]

When they're ready to listen, I will. I'm waiting for that day.

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[knightunerring]

If you're having trouble expressing it in words, actions are clearer. Something that reminds both of you why you're friends.

[Fight them. With a sword.]

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[4thdimensional]

I have a few ideas in mind. It'll have to be a shock.

text.

[tardily]

Depends on the person and how the bad the silence is.

text.

[4thdimensional]

...in a general sense it might not be the worst? But we were so close before that it's quite the strain.

text;

[pillz]

take somethin they love ;(

[bad advice, 101.]

[4thdimensional]

Someone else did that first, or I'd consider it.