video;

[helpline]

[ The Doctor gives the camera a grin and a little nod. ]

Hello network! Just have a quick question here, time to take a roll call! Who's got magical creepy healing powers?

[ this is "being subtle." Sorry Clara. There's a big grin before, ]

Oh! Also, how do you own a shop? Apparently I got promoted. I've worked in a shop before but I don't think I've ever owned one.

Comments

video;

[helpline]

Perfect! [ said with a grin of his own. ] I might have a job for you, by the way, after I double-check with certain things.

video;

[unbreaker]

Noooot 'cause I was eavesdropping or anything [except that's totally why] but you're not expecting whoever you get to help you with whatever it is you need help with to like...stick their fingers inside somebody, are you? 'Cause uh...uhhh...

video;

[helpline]

Oh, of course not! I just don't know how...uh, touchy these sorts of powers need to be.

video;

[unbreaker]

Oh, oh man...good.

[HAVE AN AUDIBLE SIGH OF RELIEF]

I couldn't help you if you were lookin' for something like that. My power works pretty quick for small things like cuts, scrapes, gouges and the like, and it ain't that creepy then. But if you've got a severed limb or some kinda fucked fusion shit going on...it can get pretty bizarre.

video;

[helpline]

Oh, don't worry, it's not a severed limb. We'd go to the hospital if it was a severed limb, no offense there.

[ however... ] What d'you mean by 'fusion shit'?

video;

[unbreaker]

Hey, I'm just saying...it wouldn't be the first one I've dealt with.

And I guess the easiest way to explain what I mean by fusion is...well, my power isn't 'healing' so much as it's 'fixing' stuff. For example, say you got a cake and it's making people sick, right? I could use my power to reduce it to its original ingredients and find out if somebody laced it with poison.

Or uh...I had this friend. She got hit before with this arrow and because she heals fast, the arrow was fusing with her body. I was able to separate the two by returning her to her state before the arrow hit her.

video;

[helpline]

Well that sounds interesting! [ and also sounds like it might act weird with Clara because she's frozen in time so LET'S FIND SOMEBODY WITH LESS INTERESTING POWERS..... ]

Even if you aren't chosen for the position, mind using your power on this laptop I've got the next time you're over with Hazel? It'll save me time and effort and I'll reward you with...well, with something, that's a little to be determined.

video;

[unbreaker]

[If Josuke knew the specifics, he'd probably be the first to suggest using someone else's healing powers. He's always a little leery about using them on people whose circumstances are weird, ever since the one time he tried to heal Hazel's scars and that did not go well...]

You know she gave me a key, right? I can pop by whenever and fix it up for you. I gotta ask though...is it her fault it's broken?

video;

[helpline]

I didn't know that! Good on you for taking your relationship to the next level.

[ cause yeah, y'all kissing. ] And it's broken because I fished it out the dumpster.

1/2

[unbreaker]

I think she only did it 'cause I gave her a hard time about giving a key to that Kongpow guy first.

[Kangmo...he means Kangmo. He will never say the guy's name right. On purpose, probably.]

...anyway, the hell are you fishing electronics out of dumpsters fo—

2/2

[unbreaker]

YOU'RE A FUCKING GENIUS!

[helpline]

With what, fishing electronics out of dumpsters? Course I am, that's the best way to get free parts!

[unbreaker]

Do you have any idea how much you can sell repaired electronics for?!

[helpline]

A lot? I think it'd be a lot. I mostly use them to build doodads.

[unbreaker]

More money for me. But hey, you gave me the idea, so any time you need shit fixed up for your doodads, just let me know! I'm your guy.

[helpline]

I'll give you a text the next time I've dumpster dived something I'm too lazy to take apart or fix up myself—apparently I text now, by the way! It's a thing!

[unbreaker]

But do you emoji?

[helpline]

E-what now?

[unbreaker]

The little text faces and stuff! Here...

[The amount of phone juggling going on as Josuke switches to text is ridiculous, but at least the new setting won't cause motion sickness.]

things like this

(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶

[helpline]

[ what the hell, that is so cute he needs to learn solely so he can bother Clara with emojis. ]

Teach me emojis and I'll show you the best places to dumpster dive.

[unbreaker]

You've got yourself a deal, old man.

There's emojis for everything but it helps if you got different keyboards installed.

[And the lesson from thereon in will consist of endless face-making through text and probably some really awful descriptions of how in the hell some of those emojis actually resemble what they're supposed to.]

[helpline]

[ sweet fucking Jesus, the Doctor takes to emojis like a duck takes to water, he is going to have so much fun with this and definitely terrorize Clara + Hazel. ]

I think I've got the hang of this! [ and then, in text, ] See? (^▽^)

[unbreaker]

You've totally got it!

(^‿^)乃

[This is so stupidly endearing. Josuke is proud.]

[helpline]

Go Team Doctor & Josuke!

\ (•◡•) /

[unbreaker]

we're a team now, huh?

then i call dibs on team leader and u gotta learn how to salute

(￣^￣)ゞ