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[The video opens up on a familiar attic, with everyone's favourite nerd waving at the camera. For some reason there's what looks like a dummy with its arms raised and a sheet over it. Spooky?]

Hey, everyone! Dipper Pines again. It's October now, which means a bunch of things. Like... pumpkins! Big piles of leaves! Fake skeletons everywhere! I mean, along with the real ones. That... everyone has. Never mind.

Anyways, I'm here to talk to you about ghost protection. Things can get kind of spooky during October but if you're prepared, you won't have anything to worry about. You can focus on costumes and candy corn and... mid-terms. Maybe? Do any imPorts go to college?

First thing! This is a classic supernatural deterrent that you should already have on hand: salt. Basically you just kind of put in a circle around whatever you want to protect from demons or whatever. I don't think it works for really strong ones, but it'll keep most things out. Plus you can just buy the kind you use for salting your driveway.

If you already have a ghost inside your house, the best thing you can try is to trap it in a silver mirror. That part's pretty you just kind of-- [At this point, Dipper makes a sucking sound.] To get rid of it, there's a ritual and stuff. I'll put uh, a link at the bottom. Don't break the mirror or let the ghost talk its way out. For real. You might get turned into a tree.

Okay and seriously, don't do a seance. Ghosts are really annoying and talking to them doesn't do much, plus you're probably just going to end up with more. Silver mirrors are expensive!

That's pretty much it! Let me know if you have any questions, and avoid cursed doors. They either lead to another plane of existence or it's just instant death. You'll know them when you see them.

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The supernatural and ghosts are real in this world?

[says the alien]

Well--yeah? You get lots of different things. I mean, even counting non-imPort stuff.

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sasaeru - 2016-10-09 23:01 (UTC) - Expand

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sasaeru - 2016-10-21 06:47 (UTC) - Expand

Your world is always so full of activity...

Do you think I should buy extra salt?

Dude, you definitely don't have to worry. Even Koro can fight off a ghost on his own. And you've got your special spear thing.

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amadaman - 2016-10-18 07:54 (UTC) - Expand

[dipper pines is public enemy number one]

I've a question.

Sure? Hopefully I have an answer.

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idesof - 2016-10-16 02:10 (UTC) - Expand

[ His tone isn't patronizing, not really, but there is an incredible amount of amusement there that's quite obvious. ]

Salt hardly does anything around demons. What you need is a good pentagram and powerful magic to keep them out.

I meant like, little ghosts. To keep out a real deal demon we had to get unicorn hair and stuff, but hopefully there's nothing that big showing up.

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immortally - 2016-10-16 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

[OW. HIS HEART.]

Y-You...you think ghosts are annoying, zura?!

Annoying, sometimes dangerous... I guess there are cute ones out there? Maybe.

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[ Alec's voice is dry and slightly disapproving. ]

Salt won't protect you from ghosts and demons.

Small ones! If someone summons something or you have a centuries old curse on you then, yeah, salt isn't going to do much. But category 1 ghosts are a piece of cake.

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traditionally - 2016-10-16 12:14 (UTC) - Expand

Ghosts aren't creepy at all. You shouldn't trap them like that...

One turned me into a tree once.

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ursawhiner - 2016-10-16 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

Well mirrors never worked where I'm from. Really, the best thing you should do is find a way to help it pass on.

The mirror's so you can trap it long enough to pass it on. Some ghosts are really, really vengeful.

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brushoff - 2016-10-16 05:43 (UTC) - Expand

Doesn't seem to be a problem to me. Maybe you should just enjoy Halloween.

Hey, doesn't hurt to be prepared. This stuff is all pretty basic.

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unfortunatechemistry - 2016-10-16 21:14 (UTC) - Expand

How old are you?

Uh... fourteen? This isn't really a super complete guide to ghostbusting or anything. More like a PSA.

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Show of hands, who didn't have any ideas about seances or messing around with ghosts until the kid brought it up?

He should probably leave it to someone who would know what they were doing. Like me. He could get hurt, especially making them angry like that!

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Dipper-kun.

Ghosts are mythical beings in this world. I don't think we have to worry too much about them.

[Forget that he's an alien and he's met a youkai. This is different.]

[WHATEVER YOU RED-HAIRED BOYFRIEND STEALER.]

You literally have soccer superpowers! How is that more believable than ghosts!

Edited 2016-10-09 23:18 (UTC)

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starlinings - 2016-10-16 07:59 (UTC) - Expand

Prove it.

Can't you just go like... eat some candy corn. Maybe those gummy burgers.

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... Have you actually trapped a ghost with a mirror?

[ Nico is ... incredulous. ]

Yeah! A lumberghost. It was a whole thing.

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Don't listen to him, folks. The best possible thing you can do for a ghost is hold a seance.

Seriously, Hazel??? That's just going to attract more ghosts!

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deadtective - 2016-10-16 03:32 (UTC) - Expand

Shit, kid.

You make this sound like it's some kind of war or something.

Not a war! More like... getting your shots.

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(wendy makes a long sort of hissing noise as he takes in the breath, the kind you make when something stings. yeahhhhh, she remembers that.) Yeahhhhh, sorry about my great-great-great whatever... turning you into a tree, dude.

Do you like need me to help convince people ghosts are real? Because seriously, none of these people have any right denying the existence of ghosts with the crazy biz they get up to.

I was going to ask if you guys were related but that felt like, plaid racist.

It's fine. People are mostly confused about the salt.

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hardcorduroy - 2016-10-16 05:41 (UTC) - Expand

Are you sure there are actual ghosts out there and not your friends just trying to fight you?

['Cause that's what happened to her before and they were pretty creepy...]

Edited (forgot a word) 2016-10-10 06:32 (UTC)

...That would mean my friends are huge jerks. But I'm pretty sure that's not what happened.

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tridentity - 2016-10-16 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

[The Pines kids sure are something.]

I'm pretty sure the best thing to do when it comes to ghosts is to just avoid them in the first place.

I've never heard any stories of people being turned into trees by ghosts, though.

Oh yeah, avoidance is definitely your best bet.

The tree thing might just be a lumberghost specialty. He was pretty on theme.

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asoothingvoice - 2016-10-16 14:54 (UTC) - Expand

[Noah just narrows his eyes, looking halfway between unimpressed and mildly hurt.]

This is, like, really offensive.

[At this point, Dipper's clued in.]

Are you also a ghost? Because I promise I won't throw salt at you.

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admemoriam - 2016-10-17 06:06 (UTC) - Expand

Ok...I gotta know. How did we get from breaking a mirror to turning into a tree?

Lumberjack ghosts. Century old curse. It's a long story.

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whopperking - 2016-10-23 04:01 (UTC) - Expand

Just do a warding circle around your house! It will keep all sorts of things out, not just ghosts. You can even adjust the wards to ensure that any intruders will regret trying to enter.

Are there any simple enough that just about anyone could do, though?

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beneathbluerafters - 2016-10-18 02:36 (UTC) - Expand

[Now Jo looks curious. She's only heard of one ghost that worked by trapping it in a mirror, and she's still not convinced Bloody Mary wasn't a monster, not just a ghost.]

That's how it works in your world? You just trap them?

It was going to be a trap and then exorcism, but things got uh.... complicated.

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knifecollecting - 2016-10-16 21:38 (UTC) - Expand

This sounds fake. Every word of it. I don't think any ghost I've ever known would do anything but fix their hair when confronted with a mirror.

And what, pray tell, would you recommend against vampires?

I don't think this ghost cared that much about his hair since he had an axe in his head.

Never actually thought about vampires. I'd just leave them to Mabel, I guess.

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glowsferatu - 2016-10-16 09:24 (UTC) - Expand

It might be cool to have a ghost around...Why get rid of it?

I mean, if the ghost is okay then you can totally keep it? Still kind of creepy!

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