ARCHER ♤ an unknown hero. ♤ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordedpast) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2014-02-18 07:29 pm
swordedpast) wrote in maskormenace2014-02-18 07:29 pm
twenty-three swords skewer the wrong things.
[ video ]
[ Archer stands in one aisle of a small supermarket, staring grimly at a shelf not currently visible. Finally, he speaks. ]
An entire aisle of variations of something called "Hamburger Helper." I see. The situation here is really more dire than I imagined.
[ There's only a faint hint of sarcasm to his voice--maybe even less than usual. He's really affronted by this, as much as he might try to deny it. ]
I had hoped to hold off on sharing this guide I'd prepared, but it seems it can't be helped. Here. I'm giving you my wisdom as someone who's had to learn a thing or two about cooking over the years, so appreciate it.
[ Click. ]
[ switch to text ]
I've compiled a helpful guide that this place's cuisine seems to be in need of. Please take note.
Places "Jell-O" Belongs
♦ On a plate at the bedside of an ill person who cannot hold down solid food.
♦ In a quivering mass in front of the swords and spells of our heroes in a roleplaying game.
Places "Jell-O" Does Not Belong
♦ Anything referred to as a salad.
♦ Seafood dishes. Seafood dishes.
♦ An entire cake.
♦ Any mixture of vegetables, whether or not you consider it distinct from a salad.
♦ Near, around, beneath, or on top of eggs.
♦ Mixed into liver pate.
Attached: a nightmarish image. Access carefully.
Additional note: mayonnaise also does not belong in most places you wouldn't put jello.
[ Archer stands in one aisle of a small supermarket, staring grimly at a shelf not currently visible. Finally, he speaks. ]
An entire aisle of variations of something called "Hamburger Helper." I see. The situation here is really more dire than I imagined.
[ There's only a faint hint of sarcasm to his voice--maybe even less than usual. He's really affronted by this, as much as he might try to deny it. ]
I had hoped to hold off on sharing this guide I'd prepared, but it seems it can't be helped. Here. I'm giving you my wisdom as someone who's had to learn a thing or two about cooking over the years, so appreciate it.
[ Click. ]
[ switch to text ]
I've compiled a helpful guide that this place's cuisine seems to be in need of. Please take note.
Places "Jell-O" Belongs
♦ On a plate at the bedside of an ill person who cannot hold down solid food.
♦ In a quivering mass in front of the swords and spells of our heroes in a roleplaying game.
Places "Jell-O" Does Not Belong
♦ Anything referred to as a salad.
♦ Seafood dishes. Seafood dishes.
♦ An entire cake.
♦ Any mixture of vegetables, whether or not you consider it distinct from a salad.
♦ Near, around, beneath, or on top of eggs.
♦ Mixed into liver pate.
Attached: a nightmarish image. Access carefully.
Additional note: mayonnaise also does not belong in most places you wouldn't put jello.
audio;
[ It hurts how easy it is for her to slip up like this in front of him. Why does telling the man she love the truth feel like a dagger slipping into her heart? ]
That's how it is, Archer. Heroes stand alone so if I'm going to be a Hero as I'm registered to be, I, I, I have to learn from your stupid example!
audio;
[ Wait, what? CLICK. He's gone. ]
no subject