Block 001 [Text]

[beastfang]

[Normally this is something Genda would never do, but from what he's figured out from just skimming the network the pool of information is a lot more widespread then just one city. That will take too long in regards to one objective.]


The standard syllabus that I've been capable of finding seems overly generic, and hardly tailored for those who did not grow up in this culture. Is this schooling mandatory or are there specialized accelerated programs specifically for those not from here?

[A few moments later, as if added as an after thought.]

Who scored the second point in the Teikoku vs. Raimon elimination match, and what was the final score?

Comments

action; this has completely devolved into paranoid worry spirals

[tacticianing]

[Years of conditioning are the only thing that keeps Kidou from wincing outright. It only registers as one more crease in his brow as his eyebrows draw down just a little more. It could be mistaken for thoughtfulness pretty easily, and he'd prefer if it was. Genda's bluntness was often appreciated, but here it cuts a bit too deep. It's not a question Kidou can answer honestly, and therefore it spells the end of this conversation regardless of whether or not Kidou wants to leave. Is it a subtle hint to go? Kidou can't even be sure; he can't read Genda at all.

Kidou does need something else from Genda. He needs Genda to be his Genda, his stalwart friend who never wavered or faltered, and someone Kidou never thought he'd have to worry about. The one Kidou could predict until it was as if they thought and acted as one, and could rely on without questioning where they stood. There's no way to express that. 'Be the person I know' comes across, even to Kidou, as 'be who I thought I knew, even if that's not quite who's sitting before me'. It's an unacceptable sentiment.

Did Shin Teikoku do that to him, or was he always like this underneath and Kidou never noticed? Was this disconnect between them really something more permanent, or was it just something that hadn't healed yet? All of this was something Kidou didn't question before. His friends had to be the same people he'd always cared about, even if their true selves are buried under something else. Even right now, he still believes that, but there's a shadow of poisonous doubt cast over his conviction.

By returning to Teikoku, updating Sakuma on the situation, adding Death Zone to Raimon's arsenal against Aliea and running alongside his old team again, he had easily confirmed that his belief in his friends wasn't unfounded. But what's true for Kidou might not be what's true for Genda right now, and all this new internal questioning is more painful than taking on any shoot.

Kidou closes his eyes for a moment. Regardless, this Genda is who he has and therefore this Genda is who he'll accept, no matter what that means.]

Not really.

[What is he waiting for? A dismissal? Kidou gently takes hold of his notebook, standing back up again. He's given Genda rights to copy it, but he doesn't like letting it out of his possession for indeterminate amounts of time. He'll have it ready when or if Genda wants it, anytime. For now, there's nothing else left to do.

It hurts to even think about walking away, but it's not up to him. If he stays any longer he's going to start running the risk of saying or doing something ill-advised. And this is Genda's space - he's here only by invitation. Kidou has already overstepped his boundaries by forcing himself on his friend like this in the first place; he can't stay when he can give no reason why he should.

Instead of letting this slowly fade out into ambiguity, he formally closes the conversation with a quiet 'excuse me' and turns to go.]

How did they even manage this in less then two hours???

[beastfang]

[The answer only makes the resignation cement itself. He knew there was a chance that his question was taken at face value, and the actual meaning lost. He had forgotten that his verbalizing was either harshly blunt or awkwardly phrased that most of what he meant was jumbled up.

Has he fallen so out of sync with Kidou that nothing would match up again?


Was this something he had overlooked during the representative challenge because he was too busy trying to show Kidou he could improve and catch up to him one day? Did something between them finally break completely when he had chosen to follow Saginuma in this? Or was this inevitable since Shin Teikoku, and it is only now when there is nothing to distract from it that it has become apparent?

The excuse me and the tell tale sound of Kidou about facing is enough that he's also rising to follow before hesitating after a step. If the other wishes to leave he can't force him to stay, especially as there is no reason for the other to remain.

There's nothing more he can say or do right now. Yet...


Even if he could never fully fix what he broke, he would at least try, if not see if there was a chance for something else to be created instead. He just needed to find a chance to do so, and until then just be whatever the other wanted him to be.]

Until next time...