maskormenace | [Anonymous

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[After a series of texts early that day, Yuri spent the rest of his morning trying valiantly to figure out how to hide his name from the network. There was a very serious matter he needed to ask about, and he didn't want to think of the consequences he'd face if anyone knew he was the one asking.]

What the hell are you supposed to do on a date? A first date if that matters. Something like that has to be special, doesn't it? So...what do people expect? Do you have to dress up? How do you know who pays for everything?

I really don't know anything about this junk so I'll take any advice people have got.

[Viktor would never let him hear the end of this if he knew.]

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[Holy shit it's finally happened. He's spent too long around Viktor and the man's ridiculous outlook on love and friendships, and now it's infected his entire life. It's the only explanation, or at least the only one Yuri can come up with while it feels like the rest of the world is falling away and his heart is trying to pound out of his chest. Yusuke loves him?]

I... [What? What was he supposed to say now? There's no way he can match the force of that confession. He's not even sure it would be honest if he did manage to.] I—I don't know if I— I mean, I like you! A lot, but I'm... [He gestures helplessly, the look on his face wavering towards a helpless smile that's more panic than it is hope. He was so hopelessly unprepared for this.]

I don't...know what that means. —How I feel. I'm trying to figure it out now! [Now that he's recognized it for the crush that it is all of five minutes ago. He, unfortunately, does not have the benefit of having had weeks or even days to examine his feelings and grow to understand them, but, honestly, it would not have helped much even if he had.] But I have to figure it out with Otabek too, and I don't know if...I didn't know you—! I didn't even know he—! Not until today! So I'm—sorry?

[ If he didn't want to know, he shouldn't have asked!

The stunned, stuttering half-response might have discouraged him, but it's too endearing to bring him anything but a smile. Yuri expresses himself in other ways, he knows this by now, and that he hasn't bolted for the door or even pulled away is justification enough for the feeling of unbearable weight being lifted from his shoulders. It's out, it can't be taken back or rearranged, and it could have been sweeter or smoother but it is what it is, honest and direct. ]

That's alright, Yuri. I won't ask you to return my feelings in full. I have burdened you with enough as it is.

[ He looks up at him, almost shyly, not at all sure what to say or what to do next. It's not like Yusuke planned for this. Without realizing it, he grips Yuri's hand tighter, weaving their fingers together as he tucks his hair out of his face. He wants to see Yuri perfectly clearly. ]

Just...tell me if there's a chance. That would be enough.

[This question should be easier. He almost misses hearing it, so distracted with Yusuke's hand in his, but for once the answer is obvious to him. They both like each other, so yes, there's a chance. Simple! Except it really isn't when he has to consider Otabek as well. He's not so lost when it comes to relationships that he'd make the mistake of forgetting to take the other skater's feelings into consideration. It would be cruel to make a decision now.

He closes his eyes for a moment, focusing on his own breathing and the soothing warmth of Yusuke's hand. It's fine—more or less. Yusuke hasn't been upset with any of his awkward stammering yet. That thought gives him the confidence to meet Yusuke's gaze when he opens his eyes again, nervous and unsure as he is.]

I need to talk to Otabek first.

[ It's a frustrating response. Not because of Yuri, he can hardly blame him for attracting someone else's attention, but because he doesn't know what to expect. He's never been cornered into a confession like this, he's never even had one to give, and so, of course, being in a position where he feels like he'll have to compete is...awkward. At best.

His mouth feels like a desert, and he swallows hard before speaking again. The urge to look away and scare off is pulling at him, but Yusuke resists, especially now that he can feel Yuri's eyes on him. He needs him to know that he's serious about this, he wouldn't have said anyway. ]

...of course. That would only be fair. Don't cancel your plans because of me. Just don't forget I'm here, either.

[He frowns, the first expression he's made this entire time that isn't some form of confusion or surprise.]

You idiot. There's no way I'm going to forget about you! [As if to emphasize his point, he gives Yusuke's hand a sharp squeeze and jabs him roughly in the chest with the pointed finger of his free hand.] We're friends! No matter what happens with all this other...stuff!

[There's a pause, and he adds with a little more hesitation.] Right?

[ Yusuke looks down at the finger jabbed into his chest, and back up, a shaky chuckle slipping out from between his lips. ]

Of course. Considering everything that's happened, I would say you're stuck with me no matter what.

[There's no masking the relieved sound he makes or the way his shoulders sag as tension floods out of them. He'd been terrified enough of screwing things up with Otabek, and there hadn't been such a dramatic revelation involved there.]

Good.

Good.

[ Yusuke makes a similar sound, letting out a breath of air it feels like he's been holding onto for ages. ]

I'm glad you came. It feels good to have it off my chest. But... [ but what now? ] What will you tell him?

I... [He trails off at first, staring vacantly off into the distance.]

I have no idea.

[ He isn't laughing at you, Yuri. Just the utter absurdity of it all. ]

Well, that isn't good.

[He lets out a whining groan, hanging his head and covering his face in both hands.]

Don't laugh! I know it's not good. It's—ugh!! [He scrubs his hands up over his face and pushes his hair back, staring incredulously at nothing in particular.] I've fallen into a fucking soap opera!

...I almost told you a week ago when I climbed through your window. Maybe I should have.

[ He can say a lot of stupid things to try and relieve tension. Here's another. ]

At least the other person who has feelings for you has good intentions. I assume. He'd better. There's an obsessive, manipulative alcoholic out there angry with me for not returning his affection. So...it could be worse. I don't know if that helps.

[He'd meant to say something about Otabek; some reflex response that Otabek was great and would never consider doing anything to intentionally hurt him. What comes out instead is anything but that. There's a sudden icy edge to his tone, and, although he hasn't turned back to Yusuke yet, his eyes are narrowed with a furious focus.]

There's a what angry with you? What the fuck— Who the fuck is he? He doesn't get a say in whether or not you like him! Or if you like anyone at all! He can fuck off!

[ He waves his hand, as if to dismiss it. The situation has been diffused by now...hopefully. ]

I've tried telling him so, in gentler words. I don't think he's a danger to anyone but himself.

[That doesn't satisfy him at all. Nothing about this guy sounds like he's a danger only to himself, whoever he is.]

But he keeps bothering you?

He's easily avoided, he spends his time drinking himself into a stupor and dreaming up overwrought speeches to blame me for his issues. I am getting better at ignoring them.

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