5th Trick - Text

[vengefulshades]

["The Manipulator" is the name on this communication.]

Pancakes. Thick, fluffy, floury, smeared with melting butter and drizzled with real maple syrup. Served with fluffy scrambled eggs and two strips of black-label bacon, cooked crispy.

Fried chicken. Crispy skin, juicy meat, subtly salty. Served with a side of mashed potatoes, homemade cream gravy, and wilted collard greens cooked with garlic.

Beer. A dark stout, complex and almost chocolate in flavor, smooth and sophisticated to sip. Accompanied by a bowl of pretzels and the smell of smoke on the guy sitting next to you at the bar.

An apple. Yellow-red-pink skin, crisp and juicy, just the perfect texture without being too hard or too mealy. Simple and refreshing.

Pork rinds. Airy and crisp, salty, spicy hot with the flavor of meat. Eaten straight out of the bag while watching sports.

Roasted sweet potato. Wrapped in wet newspaper and then in aluminum foil, then buried in a pile of burning leaves to bake. Sweet and starchy, soft and hot, the perfect snack on a cold winter's day.

[Okay... that's a nice, random list there. There isn't much indication why "The Manipulator" is posting this one.]

Come on, Imports. Give me a few more. Give me something from your world that no one else has tried before.

I'm in-between things to do, you see. All this space shuttle excitement has been useful in distracting the authorities from looking for me. So I might as well try to enjoy myself with all the extra spare time.

Plus, I figured the cops could use another word from me. It's been so long since they've even imagined I've been active. Just as clueless as the people I've possessed since then.

Ooh... I bet you didn't even notice I was there, did you?

You'd think you people would learn.


[All replies from "The Manipulator" will come through audio or text only.]

Comments

[text]

[yatagarasu]

I'll give you something to do.

Get someone to seal you in a box and mail you to Africa. Or better yet, to the local jail.

[vengefulshades]

Oh, that would be an interesting side-trip.

Of course, I could get back in about twenty seconds, so it probably wouldn't have the same effect you're hoping for.

[dragony]

Well, you're still as much of a pest as ever.

[vengefulshades]

This from the same chick who was insistent I meet her face-to-face?

video;

[larker]

[Good job Gabriel doesn't need to actually eat or he'd be starving on the floor by now.]

Ugh, you had me at pancakes.

audio

[vengefulshades]

[Yeah, Yomiel can't eat either. It's literally driven him crazy.]

Damn right. Ugh. Hot off the griddle, still steamy, with jam... blueberry jam.

audio;

[godly]

[hey remember this kid?]

Is that what this is, now? Gloating about how untouchable you are?

[vengefulshades]

Gee, I just thought I'd offer up a few of my favorite foods. If you want to take it as gloating, be my guest.

text

[mercyisweakness]

[ All of those things sound so boring to Crematia, whose food preferences are more align with wolves and wildcats. ]

Cow. Bloody. Flesh still twitching. Blood taste sweeter than springwater. Brain is the best part, nothing else taste quite like it.

[ Nothing can beat eating a live cow. ]

[vengefulshades]

Wow, fierce. Can't say I've ever tried it like that.

text

[deathline]

[There may be something to this text thing; it's like talking, but without dealing with people's faces and voices, hell yes.

In that case, a very succinct message is sent:]

Ice cream.

[What, he didn't mention it and doesn't mean everyone's had it (poor saps)]

[vengefulshades]

Oh yeah. Ice cream.

What flavor?

[sniptuck]

How are we supposed to know if no one has tried it before?

[vengefulshades]

You probably won't, unless it's made from some kind of animal or plant that doesn't exist here.

But that doesn't matter. Try me anyway.

[selfimage]

Broxton had the best cup of coffee; Florida has the worst cup of coffee. You see the problem.

Do you often get poetic about food? You do have a lot of time to waste.

[vengefulshades]

Ahh... coffee. I miss coffee, too. We used to be well-acquainted.

You would not believe how much time I have to waste.

[ text ]

[falsesmile]

Someone's having delusions of grandeur.

[vengefulshades]

Hardly. It's an observation, that's all.

[transuniversal]

What about any of those foods was unique?

[vengefulshades]

Who said they had to be unique?

Sometimes even the most commonplace foods are the ones you like the most.

text

[housenurse]

you sound hungry!!!!

[Didn't even bother to read the rest of it.]

[vengefulshades]

I'm not, really. But I do like food.

[Did like food, anyway.]

text;

[handwringing]

[Distracted? Are the law-keepers really so useless here that they would let such a dangerous criminal go unmonitored?]

Did you have something to do with it?

[vengefulshades]

No. What reason would I have to put some astronauts in jeopardy?

Besides. I'm laying low right now.

text.

[immigrantpunk]

lamb kurzanesh and galnesh

[PRETTY SURE HE WINS THIS CHALLENGE

although maybe he should read entire posts before deciding to talk to people who are clearly criminals. DETAILS.]

[vengefulshades]

[Hey, no worries, he's at least not a cackling psycho kind of villain.]

Haven't had those. What are they?

[hackitude]

Mango ice cream with mint-choc ice magic sauce.

[vengefulshades]

Mango, with mint-chocolate sauce? Isn't that strange?

text

[runningstart]

i hate u

damn it im so hungry

[vengefulshades]

Not as hungry as I am, buddy.

text;

[hoboagogo]

don't forget
i think you're the only one here whos eaten whole raw eggs

i dunno bout unique but there's some shit from back home i ain't been able to find here
like matcha kitkats
[wow shinji that's weirdly specific]


i dunno if i ever asked
what's the point in laying low if you're untouchable

[vengefulshades]

True. Though I couldn't really taste them.

Matcha kitkats?

[Shinji is correct, those things are frickin' delicious.]

I may be untouchable, but it'd be stupid to be that cocky. If someone shows up who can attack or trap me without my knowing about it, I'd end up looking stupid.

[acclimatized]

[ oh, so this is 'the manipulator'? time to engage and do some info gathering. ]

Bangers and mash.

[vengefulshades]

That's sausage and mashed potatoes, right?

[enigmaestro]

People seem so defensive about their food, don't they?

[vengefulshades]

Right? I'd just assumed it was a nice, normal question.

video;

[databoner]

[Inumuta replies with a video... at a plate of food in front of him. It's exactly as The Manipulator described, and Inumuta seems amused by this fact.]

As much as I don't like you, your descriptive word choices are somewhat useful for practicing my abilities.

[vengefulshades]

[You massive dick. >( ]

Well, glad I could be of service.

text

[sassguard]

Ryncol. Tastes like mech fuel, hits you like a shotgun blast to the stomach, and just might set off radiological alarms after you drink it.

Unless you're Krogan, anyway.