maskormenace | video. space time

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video. space time

Hey, it's me! ODIN DARK. [ he puts his hand over his face, shielding the world from the madness that stirs within him. ] When you were a child, were you ever afraid of... the Dark? Gehehuhuhuahahaha.

So, if you can't tell from the billboards of my face hung up all around in basically every city, I'm gonna be on TV! I'm a contestant on that space thing! Which is great because I deserve it more than anyone and I'm really funny and cool and smart and good looking and I'm gonna be naked and lighting things on fire and getting into fist fights and throwing drinks into people's faces like all the time so that everybody gives me attention and votes to keep me around or whatever. Get pumped! But also: I have some games we can play to celebrate? Consider this the second episode of my vlog I guess.

Game one: which of these are you? [ he holds his camera up to rEVEAL A WEREWOLF NAME QUIZ. he gives you about 2 seconds to look at the print out before he's moving on. ]

Game two: not actually a game! Tell me about things you want to see people do on TV so that I can do it. Literally anything. I'm not kidding. I'm going to be in space and I'm telling you right now I will literally do anything you tell me to do if it'll get me the attention I so sorely crave. Actually I guess this is the game in that whoever gives me the most ludicrous assignment wins? Haha. This feeling in my veins - what I once thought to be umbral, soulrendering dread - I now recognize as just super fun excitement.

Game three: TELL ME A SECRET ABOUT ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS SO I CAN SHOUT IT REALLY LOUDLY ON NATIONAL TV. Such an advanced spell... I truly am an excellent sorcerer.

THAT'S IT.

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[ Odin just may be worse than Ramsay Snow to Theon now. IT IS KNOWN. ]

You promised me your silence if I said it.

Completely overridden by the fact that you care for me and want to spend time with me and you love me.

Ugh, you're so cute. I can't believe how into me you are! That's so sweet. Can I come over? What kind of food do you like? I'll make something.

Do not patronize me.

[ He bares his teeth, because that’s going to help a whole lot. Just send him back home, tbh. He’ll suffer Ramsay Bolton now. IT’S FINE, IT’S FINE, IT’S FINE. ]

You’re just incapable of silence of any sort, aren’t you?

[ Odin hides his mouth behind his hand. Theon is trying very hard and Odin doesn't want to make it obvious he's close to giggles. ]

I think I'm a loyal and empathetic and loving person, and I don't like that you keep punishing me for being myself in a way that makes me comfortable. I think if you gave me a chance, you'd find me to be an excellent companion. We don't have to use the word "friend", if you're afraid of it. Or "lovers", not just yet. But we should use something amicable.

[ ODIN, PLEASE. Theon rolls his eyes, but he does manage a smirk through his bared teeth. Good job, buddy. ]

I believe “fuck off” should be amicable enough, don’t you?

[ odin steeples his fingers and stares directly down the camera at Theon. ]

That hurt. That hurt my feelings. I think this relationship is only going to proceed if I hold your feelings hostage, as you're so capable of holding mine. And so--

Every time you're mean to me, I'm gonna add it to a tally. Every time I hit, say, five tallies? I'm going over there. I'm going to your house. I'm breaking in through the window. I'm climbing up that wall, breaking through that window, and going into your bedroom.

And then I'm going to give you a cuddle.

[ Theon laughs, mimicking the action, that pained smirk still on his face. He would very much not like that, thank you, but he has a threat of his own. ]

Would you like to end up with a grey goose feather in your chest?

[ Sure, he has powers just as well as any other imPort here, but he’s a marksman first. He feels most comfortable with a bow and arrow and it’s still his first line of defense. ]

There's nothing half so mortal, and I don’t need five chances to hit my mark--and to hurt more than just your feelings.

[ It’s always deadly threats with this guy, yes. ]

[ Odin - considers this. His dad was killed with an arrow, and for the first time, he looks genuinely kind of fucked up over what Theon's threatening him with. He tries to open his mouth to say something a couple of times, but nothing comes out, until EVENTUALLY: ]

Is that what it'd take? If I let you shoot me, would you be my friend?

[ Theon is, at this point in his life, all talk. He's shed too much innocent blood to so readily do it again. He's just annoyed. He's had so few friends in his life, and he's been ignored for half of it. He isn't sure he even knows how to be a friend to anyone but Robb. It's just easier to push people away. ]

If you let me shoot you, you'll be dead.

[ all talk though it may be, this is still hitting somewhere sensitive for Odin. he bristles, getting visibly upset again. He doesn't want to talk about people dying from arrow wounds, but he's already in this deep, so... ]

Friends die for each other all the time. You've never had a friend all up and die on you?
Pfft. It's just how things go, man! So.

Kill me, if you have to. I'll respawn and you'll have no choice but to like me.

[ He pales, though it may be difficult to see through the screen. Robb died because of him, not for him. ]

I’m not going to kill you. Don’t be an idiot.

[ He snaps irritably. ]

But I’ll not like you either.

[ Odin is thiiiiiis close to yelling about how the guilt of his death is going to weigh on Theon's life until he finds a way to make it up to him, but thankfully it doesn't get to that point. they've been stupid at each other enough for one conversation. ]

... It sounds to me like I can't trust your word, given that you were totally gonna shoot me but now you're totally not. [ he pauses. ]

That means, theoretically, that all the times you bullied me or said you didn't like me - those words, too, were disingenuous? Your hate for me - all a lie? You've been practicing the ancient, mystical art of the fabled tsundere? Where did you learn such an advanced branch of psychological combat?

[ Truth be told, he—he actually kind of does fit the term tsundere pretty well. Emotionally guarded and prone to lashing out, but genuinely a tender person behind all the self-loathing and hatred. But Odin himself has nothing to do with that. Theon just rolls his eyes, not truly understanding. ]

My hatred for you is hardly a lie. But if I killed you, I would be in more trouble than I care for at the moment.

[ Odin frowns. So this is a tsundere-sorcerer at work, practicing his tsundere-magics. Interesting... his best female friend back home is just like Theon, and now that he's made that connection, he can't let it go. Actually, let's just-- let's just test this connection out a little? Let's see how like Selena this guy really is. ]

Do you feel insecure about yourself because of your family at all?

No.

[ That’s a massive lie. His family situation is what has aided in forming all of his biggest insecurities, but he’s obviously not going to tell Odin that. He might try even harder to be friends, and Theon doesn't want that. ]

And even if I did, why would I tell you as much?

I... can't answer that question, I guess. But there's this girl back home who I love very much, you just kind of remind me of her? She's all haughty and defensive and stuff because she wants to, like, separate herself from her mom's shadow. I just thought... I might have found a way to connect to you. I guess I didn't? Hmm. Hmrmrmghrmgghghgh.

[ He's not going to just accept that Theon doesn't like him as a person, even though, like. Obviously. He puts a hand to his chin and thinks long and hard about what psychological bullshit might be running through Theon's head right now. ]

There's gotta be some reason why you don't want me to be your friend. Maybe you're scared of commitment? Or abandonment! Oh man, I've got a fear of abandonment in spades. It's one of my whole big things! That's something we could bond over. Or, um, hmm. What else... maybe you're scared of super hot people? I don't blame you for that, either. That's another thing we have in common.

[ Oh, he’s got a fear of abandonment also. Being shipped off from your blood family to another as a captive isn’t the best way to build character. He was treated well by the Starks, but he was never treated warmly. Abandonment issues from the Greyjoys, and identity issues from the Starks. He’s a real piece of work. ]

I’m not scared of anything.

[ Just what’s going to happen to him when he goes home, but that’s a different situation. He glares. ]

You and I have nothing in common, and I dislike you merely because I dislike you.

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video. space time

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