2nd hunt | ANONYMOUS text

[momchester]

nobody cares about your shitty galaxy

get a job

[Who has two thumbs and a BAC over 9000? This gal.]

Comments

[drivesadesk]

It is, yeah. I'm honestly surprised it was so easy to get so many people interested in my junk.

[momchester]

come on jonathan it's not every day someone says they have two dicks

[drivesadesk]

Of course not. Who talks about their dicks every day?

[momchester]

how much time have you been on earth, again?

And now the user name is explained

[drivesadesk]

A while. But when I talked to human guys I usually just bragged about my latest work out routine or diet or whatever. Or showed off a cool new thing I got. Did you know I used to have a desk I could drive?

love it

[momchester]

did you ever talk to guys outside of work?






you drove a desk?

[drivesadesk]

I did! When I went to work out. Dicks might have been mentioned there. And then I talked to Officer Glimmer, but he mostly talked about all of his ex-wives and his gambling debts.




Yeah, it was great! I don't have it anymore, though.

[momchester]

maybe you don't go to enough dive bars or hang out with redneck hunters enough idk

[what mary no stop you'll reveal yourself]

that sounds awesome

[drivesadesk]

I'm guessing you hang out with redneck hunters a lot, then?

i rly want him to figure out who she is

[momchester]

it's a professional sacrifice but hell i do it

He's close

[drivesadesk]

...so. you work with hunters on a professional level. Are they a particular kind of hunter? Like...deer hunter? Duck hunter? Demon hunter? That kind of thing?

mary's like ..... shit if i dont say anything then he'll know

[momchester]

[most of their conversation (except her first reply), she's been answering very quickly. This reply comes a full 20 minutes later.]

duck hunter

[bull and shiiiiit.]

[drivesadesk]

I know you, don't I?

private

[momchester]

yes

[the most sheepish. she feels like 100% Grade A Shit talking to him non-anonymously.]

private

[drivesadesk]

Wait, you're married! Should you really be asking to see my dicks?

private

[momchester]

i wasn't asking in private!! i was asking on behalf of humanity, and scientists everywhere

also, john thought the lizard porn was really funny

Re: private

[drivesadesk]

Scientists everywhere want to see my dicks?

...actually, that sounds legit.

private

[momchester]

and curious people only used to human dicks

you started this on national television, man

private

[drivesadesk]

Yeah, but that means I'll have to draw out any big reveals as long as possible to keep people watching.

private: now the sad drunk portion of the evening

[momchester]

i cant believe you still wanna talk to me

private

[drivesadesk]

Yeah, I get threatened a lot. Back home, Jeff strangled me, then a few months later we staged a mutiny together.

private

[momchester]

so you’re a reptilian space pirate???

private

[drivesadesk]

More like...a reptilian space outlaw.

An evil cube named Eric was running the ship and wanted us to help with the reptilian invasion, but Jeff wanted to find out what happened to the other greys, Kurt just wanted to leave Earth because he's scared of cars, Don was in love with a human, and I wanted to resist the reptilian invasion, so we staged a mutiny.

private

[momchester]

1. a cube ran your ship

2. the cube was named eric

3. kurt was scared of cars





your life is insane

private

[drivesadesk]

Yeah, I guess it is, isn't it?