3 ⚡ TEXT

[accelerate]

UN: FLASH

[ for the first time since his arrival, the flash graces the network at lunchtime. it's a good thing this isn't paper-based. there'd be crumbs everywhere ... as well as ketchup and a soft drink stain. the flash may be the fastest man alive, but he's still a klutz. ]

ROGUES WANTED

SEEKING: ROGUES SPECIALIZING IN COLD, HEAT, BAD JOKES, MUSIC* TO KEEP THE FLASH ON HIS TOES AND IN FIT CONDITION FOR COLD, HEATWAVE, TRICKSTER, AND PIPER TO RETURN.

MUST HAVE: GREAT SENSES OF HUMOR, ABILITY TO ACCEPT PEP TALKS, ABILITY TO GIVE PEP TALKS, AND ROGUES WHO ARE COMFORTABLE COMING OVER FOR CHRISTMAS AND BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS

THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A ROGUE? LET US KNOW NOW! AND BY US I MEAN JUST THE FLASH

NAME:

GENERATION:

TOP 5 SKILLS:

TOP 5 WEAKNESSES:

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE "ENEMY"** OF A "HERO"*** BEFORE?

FAVORITE BEYONCE SONG?

WHICH SPICE GIRL ARE YOU MORE LIKE?

HOBBIES?

ARE YOU USEFUL AT RELOCATING MEMORIES? ASKING FOR A FRIEND:

* THE FLASH HAS LOST ALL OF HIS ROGUES :'( I LOVE YOU GUYS
** ENEMY IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO PULL THE METAPHORICAL PIGTAILS OF THE FLASH, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS TRULY AN ENEMY OR A BAD PERSON
*** HERO IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO THE ROGUES THINK OF AS A HERO, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE

[ if you want to apply, fill in this easy-to-fill in form:
<span style="font-family:courier"><font color="red"><B>NAME</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>GENERATION:</B> <font color="red"><B>TOP 5 SKILLS</B>:</FONT> <font color="red"><B>1.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>2.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>3.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>4.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>5.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>TOP 5 WEAKNESSES</B>:</FONT> <font color="red"><B>1.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>2.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>3.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>4.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>5.</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE "ENEMY" OF A "HERO" BEFORE?</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>FAVORITE BEYONCE SONG?</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>WHICH SPICE GIRL ARE YOU MORE LIKE?</B></FONT> <font color="red"><B>HOBBIES</B>:</FONT> <font color="red"><B>ARE YOU USEFUL AT RELOCATING MEMORIES? ASKING FOR A FRIEND</B>:</FONT> </span>

please note that acceptance as a rogue doesn't guarantee you will be invited to his vip beyonce concert tour. this right is reserved for iris west-allen and his original rogues ... ]

Comments

text; private

[accelerate]

[ when barry is back to normal, he's going to promote hal to bestest out-of-this-world friend just for being a champ about barry's loserdom. ]

WHEN IT COMES TO IRIS IT'S IRIS BEFORE BROS BEFORE HOES
I'M SORRY I DISAPPOINTED YOU :(

PATTY ...
YES ...
I BROKE UP WITH HER
AND LINDA TOO
ALTHOUGH I THINK LINDA DUMPED ME
KIND OF UNSURE, I HAVE TO CHECK THE FANFIC HERE AND SEE WHAT THE GENERAL CONSENSUS IS

[ he's not joking. please dump him as a friend immediately. ]

I TOLD IRIS
BUT THEN I MAY HAVE UNTOLD HER
CONTINUITIES ARE A BIT TRICKY WHEN YOU'RE ME
BUT I'LL INVITE YOU TO THE WEDDING
YOU CAN BE THE RING BEARER

[ the irony. ]

text; private

[aviate]

[There was another girl he didn't know about? Are they even friends?]

Linda? Any other ex-gfs I should know about? How the hell did you have that much time to get laid? Nerds can't be that popular I don't care what Hollywood says.

[Barry's a square, there's no way he should be more popular with the ladies than him, an actual pilot even if he's never on Earth these days and he's been pining for someone else.]

That was a bad joke and you should feel bad so I'll do you a favor and pretend I didn't see that.

text; private

[accelerate]

BECKY COOPER WAS MY GIRLFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL
WE DON'T MENTION HER AROUND IRIS

[ his finger is currently pressed to his chin. he only remembers becky cooper from a very vague memory, and a fanfic that had her turn into a snake. ]

I'M THE FASTEST MAN ALIVE
NOT WHERE IT COUNTS THOUGH
SOMETIMES I GET MY CHORES DONE AND I HAVE LOTS OF FREE TIME TO SPEND WITH PEOPLE
NOT ALWAYS GETTING LAID
SOMETIMES EATING OUT

text; private

[aviate]

And apparently zero time to send me updates.

[He needs a bit more time to cool off about that.]

Is that what you mean by not where it counts?