video | Monday, August 4th | this is either a public confession or when these guys all join AA

[lyingheart]

[ The camera turns on, and for a moment attempts are made to find a point of focus: first the screen shows the top of Annie’s head and part of Reiner’s arm, then just Reiner, Bertholdt’s elbow -- each adjustment forces the others out of the frame. Finally the camera is pulled out further and, as they all stand assembled, Annie climbs on top of a chair that gives her enough height to be past even with Reiner’s shoulder, ending the camera’s focusing woes. Shortie. It’s Annie who starts speaking. ]

ImPorts. In light of recent circumstances, we’ve spoken with representatives of the United States military in regards to this announcement... and now we’re speaking to any interested as a courtesy.

My name is Annie Leonhart.       My name is Reiner Braun.       My name is Bertholdt Hoover.

And we are Titan shifters.

[ Annie continues on her own after that announcement, measured and steady, for all her pauses. ]

Annie: On our world, Titans are immense monsters, human-like creatures that are mindless in their singular goal of devouring of humans. There're a few who seem more aware than others... and then there’s us. We have an... ability to shift between our human form and that of a Titan. It’s not something we can explain. It just is.

The actions we’ve taken back home, those missions... without the Walls, or the world that lies behind outside of them, they’re pointless. There’s no explanation or reasoning for what we’ve done there that we can share. There’s no apology we can offer. All we can say is that we're all directly and indirectly responsible for the loss of human lives there. It’s a fact that both civilian and military blood stains our hands. It isn't a course of action we've continued while here. We don't intend to start now.

[ Reiner clears his throat at that, taking a moment to exchange a silent look with Bertholdt before he decides to speak. He looks stoic and determined, every bit the picture of the responsible soldier he is about to reject entirely. Standing a bit behind him, Bertholdt drops his gaze for a moment. His focus returns to him and he stares, concentrated but anxious, at the camera. ]

Reiner: For years humanity was protected from the Titans by the massive Walls that surrounded the remainder who had still survived -- that peace lasted for about a century until the outer Wall was breached by two deviant-class Titans... that was me, and Bertholdt. He got us through, and then I broke down the inner Wall. Before then no other Titans had the ability to do something like that, so it was the two of us that allowed for ⅓ of humanity to perish after that day five years ago.

[ Annie interjects, voice clipped and blunt: ]

Annie: The refugees were marched out a year later on the king’s order. He's accountable for those lives, too.

[ Annie frowns, almost surprised at herself, and glances to the side. She turns her face toward Reiner before looking back toward the communicator as she speaks. It’s progressively harder for her to look straight ahead. Reiner silently puts his hand on her shoulder. ]

Annie: I’ve been called the Female Titan. I was responsible for the many of the deaths of Survey Corps members during the excursion into Wall Maria lead by Commander Erwin. I was later cornered and apprehended in the Stohess District... though I wouldn’t be able to tell you what collateral damage I was responsible for there. I’m a neutralized threat back home.

[ She makes herself look straight into the lens of the camera again, this time unwavering. ]

Annie: None of us are a threat here. Not to this world, nor to these people. I don’t expect you to take my word on that, or even understand or care about what I'm saying. It doesn’t make it any less true. We’ve been instructed by the military in this country that as long as we adhere to a strict code of proper conduct, acting as model citizens and exemplary... [ Not Heroes; she can’t stand that term on a good day, and today is not a good day: ] ... imPorts, we’ll be guaranteed sanctuary.

[ Bertholdt cuts in, a steady voice despite how uneasy he looks: ]

Bertholdt: And we are grateful for that. This place has given us some peace and time to think and live without the actions of our past coming back to attack us constantly.

[ He trails off; it's only half true. A short silence follows. Sanctuary here is its own kind of joke. Annie opens her mouth again, hesitating, before she sets her shoulders. She speaks, tone carefully neutral. ]

Annie: I... those who wish to discontinue associations, such things will be respected.

[ Reiner nods in agreement, crossing his arms over his chest. ]

Reiner: We all understand that some things can’t be forgiven. But this is the reality of the situation, the truth about who we are -- we don’t intend on deceiving anyone. Just like if we were to do something similar here we wouldn’t expect anyone to hold back from taking action against us.

[ There’s another brief silence following Reiner’s words, where they all look toward the camera. It’s a chilling thought, but no one contradicts what Reiner’s said. The people here are much more frightening than they are. ]

Annie: For those things you may want to say or ask... We’re listening. We’ll respond to what we can for the next hour or so. After that... we have our communicators. You’ll know how to find us.

[ Annie starts to move forward, but as she does, the chair she’s on tips with her. With a startled look on her face, and a windmilling of her arms, she disappears off camera to crash to the ground with a muffled thump. It takes a second for Bertholdt to realize that Annie's falling and it's only after she did fall that he reacts, bending down and checking to see if Annie's okay. ]

Bertholdt: ... Annie? Annie... Are you okay?

[ Muffled sounds of frustration meet the question, and a hand covers the lens, ending the feed a moment after. ]

Comments

[soldiarity]

[ Reiner looks relieved to hear that, even smiling very faintly as he brushes his hand through his hair. He nods once. ]

That's what I need, I think -- direction. The rest I can figure out for myself. [ A bold enough and probably untrue statement, but therapy doesn't work that way anyway; you either half-ass it or you don't. Reiner turns his eyes toward Jesse, his expression curious and a good deal more youthful than it normally looks. ] Can I ask you a weird question?

[ As if this whole thing hasn't been weird. ]

[hostage]

[Jesse doesn't think much of people figuring these things out for themselves, but that's all between the kid and his therapist. He'll get sorted.]

Yeah, sure. What is it?

[soldiarity]

Well--

[ Reiner tilts his chin upward, pushing his hands further into his pockets. He seems to second-guess himself for a moment, maybe debating whether to ask the question or not, before he decides he may as well. ]

Is there any kind of person you think doesn't deserve a peaceful life?

[hostage]

[Oh boy, he has strong feelings about this one. Obviously, he counts himself among those types of people. He just said so, after all. But it's a different matter entirely when it comes to judging others.]

Where I come from, there's people who use kids to do their dirty work. They get 'em early on and force 'em to kill people. And these kids, you know, they don't know any better. They think that's all life's got to give 'em and they're just trying to do what they're told. To them, that's just how it works. That's how they survive on the streets. The blood on their hands, it ain't really their fault 'cause nobody ever showed 'em a different way.

It's the people who put 'em up to it... Those are the guys who deserve to pay for it. 'cause they know exactly what they're doing when they take those innocent kids and get inside their heads and twist 'em up and make 'em killers. The ones who run the system, that's who deserves all the suffering life can give 'em.

[soldiarity]

[ He can tell what Jesse's doing with the separation of "kids" from their manipulators, but his expression softens anyway; regardless, it's something that's unexpected to hear, even strange when he comes from someplace that barely allows anyone a childhood and instead imposes adulthood upon many at thirteen. Ten and eleven, for the three of them.

Reiner says nothing for a moment, rubbing his hand over his face. ]

That... it sounds right. [ And whatever parts he can't convince himself of don't seem worth arguing. ] Even if the kids knew what they were doing?

[hostage]

How could they know? How could they really know? They're just starting out in the world. They ain't had time to form a whole picture for themselves. They're taking whatever you tell 'em and that's the truth to them.

See, nobody knows what they don't know. Like... Let's say you see a bird for the first time, and it's a pigeon, and somebody tells you, "That's what birds look like." Now you think you know what birds look like. But you don't. You only know one kinda bird, and it's a pigeon. You don't know there's an eagle out there somewhere.

It's the kinda thing you only learn over time. That goes for everything there is to know.

[soldiarity]

[ He nods mutely, looking forward and keeping his eyes to the ground in front of where he's walking. It's not just that Reiner's not sure what to say, or emotional, but he wants to remember what Jesse's telling him now so he can relay it to Annie and Bertholdt later. Maybe they'll appreciate hearing it, too, even if they won't know what to do with it.

He finally asks, mildly tangential but still related: ]

Do you look at this world as a way to do things differently? Maybe live some kind of life better than whatever's waiting for you back in yours? Or if not better... at least impossible, otherwise.

[hostage]

Sure as hell makes some things a lot easier, right? Being in a whole different world. But, I mean, no matter where you are, you're gonna face some choices. You can't run from what you did, but you always get to decide whether to do it again.

[soldiarity]

At least that part's easy. We can't do what we did again... not the same way. And the reasons we had for doing it didn't follow us here.

[ He bows his head lower, slouching a little and still watching his feet. ]

Just having a choice at all feels better. Even if I don't know what to do next. [ After another moment, he looks down at Jesse because it's occurred to me he's about five inches taller. ] If you were here with the most important person in your life, what do you think you'd do?

[hostage]

[Easy:]

Whatever he wanted me to do.

[He doesn't know how helpful that is, but that's the honest answer.]

[soldiarity]

[ It is helpful; Reiner smiles, hearing that. ]

Yeah, me too. I think that would be my ideal situation -- giving that person the life they couldn't have somewhere else.

[hostage]

[He never even thought about it before now, but yeah - god, he could actually cure Mr. White's cancer. How amazing would that be?]

Is that person here? For you.

[soldiarity]

My friend Bertholdt. [ So, a yes. ] We've known each other all our lives -- we always had the plan to make it back home together, but if we're both stuck here we're not apart, at least.

[ He pauses. ]

But I had to wait for a while. Your friend might still show up for you.

[hostage]

Yeah...

[He wouldn't normally wish for Mr. White to be separated from his family, but if it meant saving the guy's life? For once, Jesse's really hoping for it.]

I think it's lucky you guys're here together. Anyplace can be home if you're with somebody you care about.

[soldiarity]

[ Reiner rubs at the back of his head sheepishly. ]

It's lucky for a lot of reasons that all three of us ended up here. Where we come from, Annie got separated from us a while back -- so it's nice seeing her, too. I don't know how it worked out like that, even my other fr-- [ No, that isn't right. ] Other people I know here aren't together with their friends.

[hostage]

What all happened back there, anyway? I dunno a whole lot about it except what you guys mentioned.

- I mean, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want. But... The other guys from your world, they're after you three now, right?

[soldiarity]

[ He hesitates, but nods his head once -- it's a little difficult, but there's no point in avoiding the subject after everything else they confessed. It's the lesser parts of the story, really. ]

Where we're from, humanity has lived behind enormous Walls for over a century to keep themselves out of reach of the titans -- most of them are only fifteen meters tall at the largest. That's how tall I get, but Bertholdt is fifty meters; it was thanks to his colossal size we were able to break the Walls in the first place. After that... [ He pauses. ] When we were twelve we enlisted as soldiers in order to continue infiltrating humanity, by fighting against titans alongside them. Everyone else here that knows us were our superiors or our comrades.

[hostage]

[How could anyone in good conscience recruit a twelve-year-old as a soldier? Jesse doesn't really care what kind of world it is. Every adult in that world had better be dead before they go using kids.

He gives a slight shake of his head.]

That's messed up. So all that time, you were in with your enemies?

[soldiarity]

[ He nods again. ]

They were our friends. I mean-- [ He wrinkles his nose and exhales a sharp huff of air. ] I shouldn't really think like that. But we enjoyed that time, pretending to be soldiers.

[hostage]

I get it. Yeah.

[It's like the time he spent working for Gus. Yeah, he was carrying around a vial of poison meant to take the guy out. But they also ate dinner together. They survived Mexico together. There were moments he dreamed about what would happen if he really gave himself over to the guy, if that would be a better life.]

It's confusing, you know? Sometimes you don't even really hate the people you're supposed to go after. You're just trying to do the right thing.

[soldiarity]

That's right. They don't see it that way now, but not everything about what we were doing was a lie. For me... well, I told you a little about it -- sometimes I really believed I was a soldier instead of a traitor. Bertholdt hasn't told me how long that's been happening.

[ His gaze drifts guiltily downward, for multiple reasons this time. Though he's serious about what he says, when it comes to choosing between being a soldier and Bertholdt, there's no competition. ]

[hostage]

At least now, you know, those lines don't gotta exist anymore. Nobody's gotta be on one side or the other. And you can just be... you.

[soldiarity]

Yeah. [ Which is refreshing. ] We don't expect to be forgiven, but we don't have any reason to be at war anymore, either.

It's kind of nice, though. We're even able to make other friends.