VOICE

[burlyboy]

Right, so. Thought experiment. Bear with me here.

Let's say you got a chance to go back and change whatever that dumb shit you did was - you know, the point where everything went wrong, or you wish you would've done something differently. Only if you change that, that means erasing everything that ever happened after too, good or bad. Everything you're proud of, and all the friends you made.

Would you do it?

[ Hm. This sounds super specific and super suspicious! HE'S JUST GONNA... COUCH IT A LITTLE. ]

I met a really weird witch, fellas.

[ #nailedit. Which is to say: hello, everyone, one Magnus Burnsides is back in town and, ostensibly, acting as though he never left! ]

Comments

[youresovein]

Mainly the fact that I'm not a very good person.

[burlyboy]

Dunno if it's that simple. It's not like you're good or bad and then you're just stuck there forever.

[youresovein]

Oh, no, it's more of a spectrum, I understand all that. The trouble is that being bad is more rewarding in nearly every way.

[burlyboy]

Not true. What about dogs?

[youresovein]

... What about them?

[burlyboy]

Dogs are good. Bein' around dogs is rewarding. But dogs don't reward you for being bad - they pay attention to all the good stuff, like taking care of 'em and not raising your voice or being a giant asshole Therefore being bad isn't more rewarding.

On account of dogs.

[ he's got great logic, lestat ]

[youresovein]

There's but one flaw in your reasoning, my friend.

[burlyboy]

Yeah? Shoot!

[youresovein]

I've yet to meet one man half as good as any dog.

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus hoots, clapping his hands. ]

You got me there, buddy! You got me there! But that's no flaw, that's support. Dogs make us be better and reward us for being better, not the other way around.

[youresovein]

Ah, but do you think your dog cares one bit if you're a terrible person once you're out of his sight? A beggar's cur wouldn't trade his master for the world's richest king, and a despot's hound, if kindly treated, will think him a living saint. They love you no matter what kind of monster you are.

[burlyboy]

But you're still not being a terrible person while you're in his sight. So that means you're decent at least a percentage of the time. That's better than being decent 0% of the time.

[youresovein]

A compelling argument. If our gods were dogs, we might avoid sin for their sake rather than our own.

Well, the really nasty ones, at least.

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus barks out a laugh. ]

I've never avoided sinning for a god, for myself or otherwise! It's never seemed worth it.