maskormods: (⒊)
Mask or Menace | MODERATORS ([personal profile] maskormods) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2018-03-20 08:22 am
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THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 20TH, 2018

THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 20TH, 2018
Got a case of deja vu?
Maybe it's not just in your head.
WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL
As seen on TMI:
According to a recently taken online poll, 65% of all poll takers believe it is LIKELY that Bruce Wayne is Woden. 15% say UNLIKELY. 5% said that Bruce Wayne was actually an immortal born in the 1700s. 10% say Bruce Wayne is Jonathan Crane's sugar daddy. 5% say that Bruce Wayne is Just Bruce Wayne Leave Him Alone.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from SILVER FOX to NEVER-ENDING SCREECH OF TIMELESS YELLOW.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
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restingstitchface: (Consternation)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-03-20 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
A man who offers financial, emotional and material support to another hardly deserves such worthless defamation.

[The rest of the news and the circumstances thereof? Too important to share thoughts about.]
riddleman: (A serene expression.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
So it's true.

[Kinda textbook.]
restingstitchface: (Conversation)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-03-20 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not like we unwrap each other's caramel lollipops, Edward.
riddleman: (An apprehension.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't need to know what happens between you and your daddy in the bedroom, Jonathan.
restingstitchface: (Santa Crows)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-03-20 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Your penchant for gossip suggests otherwise.
riddleman: (A gesture.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm interested in knowing things. There's a thin line between gossip and blackmail material.
restingstitchface: (Default)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-03-20 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Blackmail? Ah, you're a cop.

Figures. The two go hand in hand.
riddleman: (A smile.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
How come you didn't tell me sooner?

Such a fun detail to leave out.
itistolaugh: There's a really good fastball cut. (The third one was an ironic present.)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not as interesting as it sounds.
riddleman: (A gesture.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Nothing with him ever is, is it?
itistolaugh: (Isn't this just lovely and normal?)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
He's the stale crackers of people, but he's my crackers.
riddleman: (A thought.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw.

Fun fact: Graham crackers were invented because it was believed that bland enough food would deter people from masturbating.
itistolaugh: What are you going, Jeff? (We're naked and our balls are out.)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Is it fun, Eddie? Is it really?
riddleman: (An apprehension.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Same is true of cornflakes.

I don't know. Does he keep you from masturbating?
itistolaugh: (15)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow okay at least ask me that in a DM with an unsolicited dick pic a bunch of eggplant emojis like a gentleman.
riddleman: (A flair.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry, m'lady.

I'll get right on that.
itistolaugh: What are you going, Jeff? (We're naked and our balls are out.)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Ew. Ew. If you ever say m'lady like for real, without irony, I will personally stab you in the throat.
riddleman: (A grin.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 07:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Luckily I don't foresee that happening.
itistolaugh: (Should've fucked Sailor Moon!)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 07:24 pm (UTC)(link)
You're right, I'm way more into guns and blunt force weaponry than knives.
riddleman: (A gesture.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 07:25 pm (UTC)(link)
See, I like either. It all depends on how you use it.
itistolaugh: (The Kobayashi Maru of massages.)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 07:25 pm (UTC)(link)
It's so hard to tell your sincerity from your innuendo.
riddleman: (A secret smile.)

[personal profile] riddleman 2018-03-20 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
You wouldn't have it any other way.
itistolaugh: (Should've fucked Sailor Moon!)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2018-03-20 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Again, a mystery, Mistah E.
accelerate: ⚡ FLASH. (Default)

[personal profile] accelerate 2018-03-20 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ barry can't do a poker face to save his life. sorry, best doctor bro. ]

Can you give Bruce Wayne a recommendation to become my sugar daddy, too?
restingstitchface: (Restful)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-03-20 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
No.

[Barry is drowning here. He won't be throwing him a line.]
Edited (Better wording.) 2018-03-21 01:04 (UTC)
accelerate: ⚡ FLASH. (Default)

[personal profile] accelerate 2018-03-30 11:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ what is this betrayal. ]

Why! [ he doesn't mean to sound so upset by it, honest ... ] Give me one reason why you're anti-sharing and caring.
restingstitchface: (Bullshitting)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-03-30 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[He scarely registers any meanness on his part and replies with a blithe tone.]

My grandmother used to sling me into closets and bolt the door.

[A VALID ANSWER.]
accelerate: ⚡ FLASH. (Default)

[personal profile] accelerate 2018-03-30 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ crane, are you playing barry gullible allen? ]

Dude, first of all, that's heavy. And second, [ there's a pause before: ] if you want Bruce Wayne as your sugar daddy, he's all yours. His press coverage is always pretty dark. Dude needs to learn to lighten up. Add a red tie ... Even a red suit.
restingstitchface: (Duplicious)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-03-30 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[... Yes.]

Red? Is there a particular reason you're attempting to embarrass yourself, Barry? He obviously looks much more fashionable in black.
accelerate: ⚡ FLASH. (Default)

[personal profile] accelerate 2018-03-30 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ time to go back in time and save arch nemesis of batman. brb. ]

Yeah, but — [ here comes the bullshit train. ] He should consider accents of colour to his suits. A red die here, a red flower in his breast pocket there. Maybe even a red scarf or coat. Colour it up a bit. Stop looking so depressing, you know?
restingstitchface: (Unlucky)

[personal profile] restingstitchface 2018-04-01 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[If anything, that bullshit just perks his interest more. He perks up a little in stance and tone. Makes himself seem a little conspiratorial, even.]

You ever consider that he might have a reason to look depressed, Mr. Allen?

[His parents are deaaaaad.]
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