video.

[littlemissfutility]

I was wondering--how long do you think you should wait until you decide that someone's really gone?

[In view: Beth, in a tank top, shorts, and a bunched-up scarf, sitting on a porch swing that moves idly to and fro. Good weather, the hints of picturesque countryside, even if the capsule-like building behind her is on the ugly side. Someplace out of view, a dog barks once or twice.]

Like, my boyfriend's been in and out for weeks at a time. And it's happened a lot--this is the third time now. Other people, though...they're gone, and that's it. Or they leave and come back, and the next time, that's it. It all seems so random. Looking for a pattern's gonna drive you crazy.

So when do you stop checking for their name on the network? How do you decide if this time's forever, or if it's just another phase? [A pause, her mouth tugging downward.] It's almost harder than really losing people--at least then, you know they're gone.

Comments

likewise, here on out.

[littlemissfutility]

yeah
sort of

[littlemissfutility]

no bullshit
he's the only boyfriend i've ever had who isn't dead
i miss him and i wish he was still here
or that the porter would just DECIDE already instead of jerking both of us around
but it's not like it hasn't happened before



i just feel weird

[littlemissfutility]

one was a week
the other was a month
so he could still come back, it's only been a week so far
i'm just tired of wondering

did you go home???

[littlemissfutility]

a month is pretty good
it's not like i'm gonna drop everything and get a new boyfriend, but i don't wanna sit around hoping forever
people from home were here before i was and they probably aren't coming back either
if i wait for them i'll be waiting a long long time

that's so weird
it happened to jesse too
the second time

[littlemissfutility]

i'm gonna give him a month at least
but i wish the porter would make up its mind already
i miss him, i want him to stay

i mean that's dying too
it can get you at any time

[littlemissfutility]

that's because porting out is the new dying
anything could kill you at home too you just weren't thinking about it
idk maybe it doesn't feel that different to me because of the walkers

thanks
for him too
last time he went home it screwed with him
he should be here

[littlemissfutility]

we might
jesse was telling me about something before this, how he thinks if we stop looking at the porter and do something about the nanites
there has to be a way, we just gotta find it

yeah
let's study
i wanna try

[littlemissfutility]

idk
we only talked about it once
god he has so much stuff
idk what's gonna happen to it if he just disappears

that sounds great
maybe we can watch a movie after

[littlemissfutility]

everyone has something worth keeping
i read on the network about someone who kept letters for people just in case

cool

[littlemissfutility]

definitely
what do you want of mine?????

[littlemissfutility]

i'll look around
i don't wanna stick you with stuff you don't want though