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[littlemissfutility]

I was wondering--how long do you think you should wait until you decide that someone's really gone?

[In view: Beth, in a tank top, shorts, and a bunched-up scarf, sitting on a porch swing that moves idly to and fro. Good weather, the hints of picturesque countryside, even if the capsule-like building behind her is on the ugly side. Someplace out of view, a dog barks once or twice.]

Like, my boyfriend's been in and out for weeks at a time. And it's happened a lot--this is the third time now. Other people, though...they're gone, and that's it. Or they leave and come back, and the next time, that's it. It all seems so random. Looking for a pattern's gonna drive you crazy.

So when do you stop checking for their name on the network? How do you decide if this time's forever, or if it's just another phase? [A pause, her mouth tugging downward.] It's almost harder than really losing people--at least then, you know they're gone.

Comments

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[gazeboeffect]

I wish I knew. One of my friends disappeared yesterday.

[littlemissfutility]

I'm sorry. [It has to be harder when you're just a kid. She tries to give the boy a smile, sympathetic.] He might come back, though. A lot of people do.

video. private.

[flightforfreedom]

I can add whoever you need to BB-8's auto checklist.

[He sounds tired.]

likewise, here on out.

[littlemissfutility]

Thanks.

[A pause, and she sighs.]

He came back the last two times. So maybe.

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[fettering]

i don't think i have a good answer for this, since i've never really been guaranteed anything
[ not even life, really. at any time back home, lucifer could decide that he's ready to use joshua for what he was intended. ]
i don't look for them when they leave
they'll come back or they won't
if they do and they remember me, i'm very happy, of course!
but if they don't, or they don't come back at all, i'm just grateful for what time i did have

[littlemissfutility]

me too
being grateful that is
just knowing people matters
then no matter what happens to them somebody remembers that they were there
but it doesn't mean i don't wish they were back here

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[d33tached]

In the opinion of some, it is better to simply assume that one is gone forever than to foolishly await their return.

There truly is no way of knowing. At the very least, there is no such way that has been discovered as of yet.

[He feels you, Beth. He really does.]

[littlemissfutility]

maybe if we can get the porter or the nanites or whatever under control
seems like a crappy idea to assume somebody's gone for good if they're going to pop back up in a week or two

likewise, here on out.

[littlemissfutility]

yeah
sort of

video

[girlybruiser]

[ Oh, the girl from her first post to the network! But this time Beth's post is saddening to hear. Haru offers her a sympathetic frown. ]

I'm sorry... I wish I had an answer for that.

[ But she can relate as Morgana's name disappeared off the network and she hasn't heard from him in a while. ]

Are you feeling alright?

[littlemissfutility]

Not amazing. Maybe all right--I dunno.

[She gives Haru a wan smile that's trying to be more than that.]

Maybe there isn't an answer. We're all kind of making it up as we go along, aren't we?

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[thirdstrike]

I dunno. Maybe a month or two? What's his record so far?

[ The longest he's been gone for, Carl means-- but a month or two's about how long Mickey's been gone. He's Carl's first real experience with losing someone to the porter, so he can't speak much to patterns; only that it certainly feels more permanent with every week that passes. ]

Think it depends, though. However it long it takes for you to get that lonely.

[littlemissfutility]

A month.

[There's something wry in her answer, like Carl'd be making her smile if she wasn't in such a crappy mood.

She makes a little noise at his suggestion, thoughtful.]

Guys I've dated in the past...they couldn't come back. So I guess I'll have to find out. [A pause.] Unless he beats me to it.

video.

[youresovein]

You can stop waiting?

[ forgive him if he sounds bitter and a touch disbelieving. it's only that he is. ]

[littlemissfutility]

[Bitterness, meet weariness.]

I don't know. I haven't figured out how to yet.

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[khajidont]

They've got the highest likelihood of coming back after a month. It decreases after that, so that's... usually when I start packing away their things.

I'm sorry about your boyfriend, for the record. I hope he comes back.

[littlemissfutility]

It seems like that's what everyone thinks. A month or two.

Thanks. [A pause.] I hope so, too. I'm not looking for reasons to dump him when he's not even here, I'm just...tired of wondering.

[And then she catches herself, shoulders hunching slightly.]

Sorry--that's kind of a lot to put on somebody I don't even know. I'm Beth.

voice. priiivate.

[functusofficio]

My daughter was gone for a month, and then returned. Others have never returned. I don't know the answer.

How are you?

likewise, here on out.

[littlemissfutility]

I'm glad she came back.

[Because that's the important thing to say, while she tries to decide how to answer the question. If recent history is anything to go by, Padme's going to call her on it if she doesn't answer.

After a moment, Beth finds herself telling the truth. Because it's Padme, and Padme will know--more importantly, because she trusts Padme, who always has good advice.]

I miss him. It was only, like, four months, and one of those months he was Ported out...but I thought maybe here, I'd get to do stupid anniversary stuff with somebody. I mean, we're safe. [They can't even die--not really, anyway. She gives a sad little laugh.] But every time he disappears, it's for longer.

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[am_i_a_monster]

I got someone back after a month. He wasn't a boyfriend though. More like a best friend, or a brother. And there's someone else, that's been gone over a year now and I still check for his name. He definitely wasn't a boyfriend either though. It's really messed up that this place keeps taking that from you. I'm sorry.

[She pauses for a moment.]

I think you just have to find a way to live with it that works for you. If checking his name makes you feel even a little better, do it. If it's easier to mourn and move him into your memory, than do that.

[littlemissfutility]

I'm sorry, too. That sucks.

It makes me feel better until it's not there. [She tries to give Abigail a smile, but it comes out crooked and tired.] Then it's just...back to this.

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[mathemagier]

Three months was the general rule of thumb last I was aware. After that, probabilities seem to drop significantly.

[littlemissfutility]

have you had people come back after three months????

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[itssacrifice]

You stop checking when you decide it's time to give up.

[Andrew's been lucky so far in that he hasn't lost any close friends. Yet. But he's seen his friends and other struggle with their losses enough to know that there's no good answer to her question.]

I know it's kind of a non-answer, but I don't think it's right for anyone to give you a limit on things like hope and grief. You have to decide that yourself.

[littlemissfutility]

Yeah. You're right.

[And it sucks, says the way she answers, half-sighing.]

I keep thinking it should be easier. I mean, he came back before, he could come back now. But maybe this time's the time it sticks.

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[ghoulking]

There is no way of knowing. The first couple of months, there is still a change they might come back, but after that, the chances decrease drastically.

But ultimately, it's still your own decision to know when to give up or not.

[littlemissfutility]

It's only been a week so far. So there's still time.

[But she doesn't sound especially hopeful.

It's easier not to touch on the question of when to give up, but she's genuinely curious about something. Kaneki's lived here so long--it seems worth it to ask.]

How long do you wait?

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[morethan084]

[Oh. Oh. Daisy debates not even saying anything when she realizes who Beth's boyfriend is, and honestly? She's not sure how to feel. He never mentioned Beth to her, and it definitely never stopped him from seeing her. Then again, he's done this in the past.]

I guess you never really do stop checking. Maybe he'll come back again, especially with that kind of track record. Sounds like the powers that be want him here.

[Yeah. Cause that's how any of this works.]

[littlemissfutility]

I hope so.

[It's kind of her, even if Beth's feeling down about the odds at the moment.]

For you, too. I know you were friends.

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[h2no]

sorry about your boyfriend
mine was ported out half a year ago and honestly i still have hope
i think given the circumstances it's impossible not to keep hoping

i'd imagine him coming in and out repeatedly doesn't help
how are you doing?

[littlemissfutility]

i'm okay

[It's the rote answer--sorry, dude. She'd really like for it to be true, at least.]

we were only dating for a few months
how long were you and your boyfriend together????

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[eloquentness]

I'd give it a couple of months. [ Just from personal experience, and also because of her own casual browsing of the Network. Iris is nothing if not thorough. ] It looks like others have said the same thing.

I know, it's hard to hold on, especially because it's so random, but... I hope your boyfriend'll come back.

[littlemissfutility]

Thanks. [It's kind of her to say.]

Do three months here feel like three months at home to you? Or does it seem like they go faster or slower? [A pause, when it occurs to her that the question might sound kind of weird.] I kind of forgot what months felt like before I got here. They seem longer than I remember, I guess.

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[flowerette]

A few people have already said it, but a former friend of mine always had the rule of three months.

[ A solemn pause. ]

For him, it's been about a month and a half. I'm still waiting to declare him officially gone...

[littlemissfutility]

I'm sorry--I hope he comes back.

[It's a little easier to start with someone else's sorrow.]

It's like giving him a season. I guess it makes sense.