video.

[littlemissfutility]

I was wondering--how long do you think you should wait until you decide that someone's really gone?

[In view: Beth, in a tank top, shorts, and a bunched-up scarf, sitting on a porch swing that moves idly to and fro. Good weather, the hints of picturesque countryside, even if the capsule-like building behind her is on the ugly side. Someplace out of view, a dog barks once or twice.]

Like, my boyfriend's been in and out for weeks at a time. And it's happened a lot--this is the third time now. Other people, though...they're gone, and that's it. Or they leave and come back, and the next time, that's it. It all seems so random. Looking for a pattern's gonna drive you crazy.

So when do you stop checking for their name on the network? How do you decide if this time's forever, or if it's just another phase? [A pause, her mouth tugging downward.] It's almost harder than really losing people--at least then, you know they're gone.

Comments

[littlemissfutility]

Yeah.

[A couple years ago. So he's, like...seventeen now? Older, maybe. The key word being older--he's been here a while. Which is, in a way, a hopeful thing for her, even if it's kind of a sad story.]

Have you gone home, since you got here?

[khajidont]

Yeah. But it's not something I'd get your hopes up about? It's only been three times in four years, and one of those times was for, like, a day.

[littlemissfutility]

No, no, it's okay. I wanna stay here.

[A rueful look takes her over. In recent weeks, she's experimented a little with admitting she can't go home, but she hasn't been able to bring herself to get into the why--once someone knows you're dead, you don't get to stop being The Dead Girl.]

Is there anyone who's been here longer than you? Everyone else I've met's been here a year or two, tops.

[khajidont]

Oh. [ Jaime offers her a small smile. It's easy enough to translate that one - either she's dead or the situation back home was bad enough that she feels no need to return or this world is miles better than the one she's used to. Either way, Jaime often finds himself wishing that the people who want to stay could stay forever. It's not fair that they always seem to be the ones headed home. ] Then there's hope.

There's only a couple people who've been here longer than me but I've been here for a long time. It's been a little over four years now - the only people who've been here longer are the imPorts who were brought in here in the first place.

[littlemissfutility]

[He doesn't make a big deal about it, which is perfect; getting into it here seems like a great way to make everything weird and awkward for both of them. It's easier to give him the start of a smile and set aside the why of her feelings on the matter.]

Wow. [That seems great--amazing, really, that anyone's been here so long. (I could get to twenty-two if I--) It depends on how he feels about it, though. Tentatively, she asks:] Do you want to stay here? If you wanna talk about it.

[khajidont]

I'm cool with talking about it - any of it, honestly. There's so few of us around to provide, like, a first-hand opinion on all of this.

[ He pauses, deliberating. ]

I wanna go back home. But I don't want to go back home if it means forgetting everything I've done here - or without figuring out how to make sure everyone can get what they want and aren't just, like, teleported back home en masse.

[ He wants to go home - but what he wants doesn't supersede others' chances at having a new life. ]