un: anonymous

[flightforfreedom]

[ There are some times that Poe is thankful for his powers. This, being able to ask his communicator to scramble his ID so that he can post anonymously, is one of them. He doesn't do this often. But something has been bothering him more and more, lately. ]

has there ever been something, or a multiple somethings, that you did that at the time you knew was right, and just, but then later - maybe after coming here - now makes it a little harder to sleep at night?

a lot of us come from places where we had to do a lot of shit we wish we didn't

but we could still tell ourselves we were doing the right thing

and i still think i was doing the right thing

but here i meet ghosts and i can't help but wonder if there wasn't another way

how do you deal with it, when you can't justify everything to yourself anymore? and that's not a rhetorical question, i honestly want to know




do you think earth has made you a better or a worse person

Comments

[bookkeeper]

The fact that you're even asking these questions, it makes me wonder if you're stuck in a PTSD cycle.

I'm from earth, back home. This one is just a different version for me. I don't think it's the planet that makes us better or worse, it's the decisions we make or don't make. I've made a lot of bad one's. Not here. But it was bad back home.

I only have myself to blame.

[ Nate could blame Sam, if he wanted. His older brother dragged him into things. Sam knew how to play him into getting him into wanting to tag along, that and it was either go the rebel route or end up in another orphanage or worse. ]

[flightforfreedom]

yeah, well
probably

keep meaning to find a therapist
promised i would
just never seems to quite work out


i don't really mean the planet, i use it as shorthand to mean here
this earth
the one where we can meet literal ghosts


what about decisions that you had to make
where you live with the consequences either of action or inaction
and there's just as much death on either side

[bookkeeper]

Ah, broken promises. Been there. Has anyone told you that sounds like an excuse?

You got one up on me, pal. I haven't met any ghosts yet.

I'd tell you then you're pooched either way. That's set to be a lose/lose situation. Doesn't matter if you do or don't, you're still literally screwed.

[flightforfreedom]

they don't need to, i already know it
but no native is going to get it
the scale is just impossible, to them.

well i've met way too many
kind of glad for it, in a weird way, but it definitely makes this harder

yeah
at the time i didn't even think about it, though
not sure what that says about me

[bookkeeper]

So then you're looking for an import shrink.

I guess there's one small silver lining to all this: you don't remember when you go home.

Why even think about it in the first place?