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[thunderriere]

[ the video opens on the handsome face and stupidly broad shoulders of a rather cheery-looking man, which is a little at odds with the fact that he's in a holding cell in a Heropan police station. it looks like he's wearing some sort of leather-like tunic, like a lightweight armor; there's a bright blue pauldron covering one shoulder, the other bare, and there's clearly a cape attached on one side, but not the other. his hair and beard are both short, neatly trimmed, and his smile is a friendly, genuine sort — again, a little at odds with the scene behind him, where the sliding crossed-bar metal door separates the man from the wider view of the police station, several uniformed officials in the background going about their jobs. ]

[ also, he's got an eye patch. metal. ... literally, it's made of metal. there's a wicked-looking scar running beneath it, from his brow and across his cheek, so the covering is probably deserved. ]

Hello there, New Earth.

[ he waves at the camera. ]

It's quite a different planet than the last Earth I visited. A little less familiar, a little less besieged by aliens. Fewer wizards, maybe. Still mostly human, though, you've got that going for you.

[ although there's some din of other people in the ambient background noise, there's a suspicious-sounding cough caught suspiciously-close to the microphone; the man's single eye flicks away from the camera to instead stare at the suspiciously off-screen source. ]

What? Oh, come on, would you really have preferred an Earth full of Dark Elves?

[ he continues to stare at this suspicious someone off-screen; the camera shifts a little to the side, and starts to turn— ]

[ —there's a somewhat comedic-sounding yelp, and then... some sort of bird call? the camera jostles violently before being covered by something dark. ]

[ a heavy sigh follows. ]

Now you're just being absurd.

[ after a moment, the feed comes back to show a pretty brunette woman in a blue dress, looking like she tumbled in from a semi-casual renaissance faire. she stands stiffly, her arms crossed, sending an absolutely murderous glare towards the first speaker. her lips are pressed tightly together, and she seems to have no intention of actually saying anything. from elsewhere-further off-camera, a younger man's voice: dude! do Beyonce next! ]

You'll have to excuse my brother here. [ the one-eyed man indicates the brunette woman with an extended thumb; there are smears of blood on his fingers, a splash of red all across his palm. he smiles, but it's quite Tired. ] He's a bit of a coward when it comes to meeting new people. Always makes a bad first impression. I can't take him anywhere.

I told you I wouldn't include myself in this. [ the woman (apparently the man's "brother") finally speaks, but her words are hushed and angry, and directed at the one-eyed man. she reaches toward the camera—it swings away from her before she can grab it, and the picture is a blur of color. her voice continues from off-screen in an anxious hiss: ] I'm trying to keep a low profile. Stop talking before you completely ruin it.

If you wanted to keep a low profile, you shouldn't have gotten us arrested the day we got here.

[ the picture finally refocuses from a different angle; it's further away from our idiot leads, who are clearly distracted by their argument. ]

How was I supposed to know they'd overreact? You're the expert on this backwoods planet. [ he isn't given chance to interrupt; the woman barrels on, as if her few minutes of silence had only allowed her thoughts to build up pressure for a flood: ] We don't even have to be here, you know. I can just walk us out whenever we like. This cell isn't even enchanted. [ a beat. ] It's pitiful, really.

We're not becoming fugitives of human law because you don't want to pay bail after you stabbed a man in a diner.

[ the man rolls his single eye and shrugs his shoulders, but looks once more at the camera. he smiles, deflective. just a little spat between siblings! that's normal! ]

Sorry. Where are my manners? I am Thor, son of Odin of Asgard. Thank you for bringing me and my brother to your planet. Unfortunately, I've already had my share of being imprisoned this week, so if any of you would like to barter for my release, that'd be great, thanks.

[ he waves his hand toward the camera — yep, still covered in blood — and the feed ends there. ]

Comments

[articulations]

Sorry. You were here some time ago. We met and spoke of our kingdoms.

[ "Kingdoms". Kingdoms long gone. She raises a brow. ]

As opposed to what..?

[thunderriere]

[ his mouth pulls a little into a frown, hands spreading in a sort of, "you know?" gesture. ]

Well. He could be dead — he's done that before. My home and the lands of all my people were burned up in total annihilation, so that sucked. The bleeding is... fine? And the rest of my people are still on the ship, so they're fine.

[ he kinda... shrugs... ]

Sitting in a room with some awe-struck humans... it's fine? Not the worst cage I've ever been in.

[articulations]

Yes, I remember you talking about it. Your people were migrating to your version of Earth. I see nothing's changed then.

[ He still has his people, which she's glad for. ]

So you've been in other cages? Do these cages come with stories?

[thunderriere]

[ a pause. wait... ]

You remember me telling you about a thing that happened, like, today?

[articulations]

[ She holds up a hand. If she's confusing him, she'll only get herself confused. ]

Wait, the loss of your home, did that only just happen? Today?

[thunderriere]

[ he nods. ]

My brother placed Surtur's crown within the Eternal Flame, summoning Ragnarok, and Surtur drove his sword into the heart of our planet and shattered it into ash, and dust, and rock, as my people escaped on a stolen spacecraft, all in order to kill our evil sister, who we didn't even know about until, like, a week ago. I took a shower. Found out my brother didn't die when the planet exploded. That was about... six? Seven hours ago?

How long ago did you hear of this?

[articulations]

[ Ah heck. ]

...five months ago.

[ Well. This version of him definitely explained things more than the previous. ]

Time here is...odd. It isn't as you would expect.

[thunderriere]

Freaky.

[ it's joke. thor drums his fingers against one of his knees, the pace increasing as it goes. he looks away from the camera for a moment, seeming to stare into nothing. ]

I think I'm getting used to things I wouldn't expect.

[ independent of his gestures, the camera itself moves closer; position-wise, it seems to settle somewhere over his drumming hand, and for a moment, the movement of the camera seems to bounce to that rhythm. it slows. ]

My apologies, Lady. You know of me and my people, but I don't recall a thing about you.

[ he smiles, weary. ]

Once we are out of this cage, and I'm assured of my brother's temperament, I'd like to fix that.

[articulations]

Leia. You can call me Leia. But yes, I'd like that. It shouldn't take you and your brother long, however, to find bail. You'll both be freed sooner than you think.

[ A short pause as she considers this brother of his. ]

Is he dangerous?

[thunderriere]

Yes. [ is that pride? that sounds like pride. ] He stands at the right hand of my throne. I would wish him nowhere else.

[articulations]

And does he always disguise himself as a woman?

[thunderriere]

No, he's just being a brat.

[articulations]

So a dangerous brat has accompanied you to this Earth. Sounds fantastic.

[thunderriere]

You must not have any siblings.

[articulations]

Growing up I had none. Only in the last few years was I told that I have a twin brother. He's also here, by the way.

[thunderriere]

Oh, suddenly-revealed siblings. I had one of those. Just found about her this week, in fact. Turns out she was an insane megalomaniac that had been locked away for thousands of years to prevent her from destroying all life in the known cosmos. She cut out my eye this morning.

I hope your relationship with your brother is... better than that.

[ shrug. MOVING ON. ]

As for my brother, we have fought side-by-side for more than a thousand years. Although I know his flaws better than anyone, he is my brother, and I love him more dearly than any other. When I say he is dangerous, it is an assessment of his abilities — just as I am dangerous, by the strength of mine.

We come to Earth as friends. We mean it and its people no harm.

thhhhreadjack

[notawitch]

[Ew. Did you forget he's literally sitting right next to you, dude.]

Do tone it down. I may vomit.

[thunderriere]

Oh, you will not, you big faker.

[notawitch]

How would you know? Would you like to take the chance?

[he Will puke on u]

[thunderriere]

Would you? With what the food was like on Sakaar? There will be no getting that smell out, brother, no matter how quickly you banish it.

[notawitch]

[Okay, point. Loki feigns a shudder.]

Then I will have to do something else suitably revolting to get you to stop, I suppose.

[thunderriere]

Do your worst, brother, you'll only embarrass yourself.

[notawitch]

Do you care nothing for my pride? I've worked hard to cultivate this air of solemn dignity.

[See, he can be funny.]

[thunderriere]

Really? Then why is it so hard for you to keep it?

[articulations]

Are you two done?

[ Wow. These two banter worse than she and Luke. ]