First Promotion(?) ; video

[mickeyd_emon]

[the screen is overtaken by a black hole, blurred pale around the edges. there's a deafening tap tap tap. is it a monster? some new demonic threat?! MORE VENGEFUL TOILETS RETURNING FROM THEIR SLUMBER????? the black recedes and...it's some doof's finger. one red eye peers at the screen way too closely]

Maaaaan, I don't get these smart phones at all. Where's a guy gotta go t' get a good ol' fashioned flip phone huh? well, whatever. [he clears his throat and projects his voice needlessly, briefly wearing a regal tone like an old cape]

Citizens of America! Thank--[he pulls back the camera, accidentally turning it so he stands diagonal in the feed] Thank you for your hospitality. I'm Sadao Maou, and I'm the new assistant manager at Blessed Bounties, the best produce store you'll see around these Pennsylvania parts! Drop by for a discount on oranges later today.

[he flashes a winning grin. not even an hour in the place and he's already doing PR]

I'm kinda from Japan, so please have patience as I get used to how things run around here. Otherwise, I'm at your service!

Now that that's outta the way . . . Urushihara! I know you're out there, lurkin' somewhere on the net. Come fix my phone for me, it kept sayin' I need an "update" an' now it's wiggin' out.

Comments

[ voice ]

[disorder_heaven]

Man, we've been here like two days and you're already bossin' me around...

[ video ]

[mickeyd_emon]

Can ya fix it or not? And whoa how do you switch it to an audio call? Uh . . .

[blinks vapidly down at the camera... brb pushing buttons]

[ voice ]

[disorder_heaven]

Dude. Your room is like. Next door. Get in here.

[ video --> action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

Oh yeah. It's weird you're not in the same room . . .

[he's standing up, his hand dropping to his side. enjoy a view of his ass before he hangs up. he'll just walk right into Urushihara's room and plop down next to him.

Maou thrusts his phone in his face]

Fix it. Please.

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

[ Of course, Maou's thrusting his phone in between Urushihara's face and.......

a computer monitor.

What else is new.

With a weary sigh, he yanks the phone from Maou's hand. ]

Yeah, hi to you too, jerkface.

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

I did say please . . .

[Maou leans toward Urushihara, curiously staring over his shoulder to watch what magic he performs on his phone.

Basically, those ads that pop up on browser tellking you you absolutely must update the most crucial app thing ever or you WILL DIE??!???!

Maou clicked "yes." And ended up downloading a virus. Brilliant Demon King, right here, come and get it]

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

[ yeah yeah whatever he did it's fixed. ]

Take this thing back, Satan. I only got two hands.

[ He folds his arms over his desk and stares intently at his computer screen. ]

So. This isn't Japan.

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

Nope.

[he fiddles with his phone, just to check it's working, then slips it into his pocket]

An' I'm pretty sure if America had hover cars, Japan'd be in on that. 'Least they better be. So. Different Earth, too.

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

Yeah, great. [ He sounds miserable. Or as miserable as someone with no emotion in his voice can sound. ] Ashiya doesn't seem to be here. Emi, either.

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

Or Chi, or Suzuno . . . I definitely woulda got a death threat or two by now.

[he grimaces. whether it's in memory of past death threats or the fact they're the only ones of their rag tag gang in the entire world will forever be a mystery]

It's like you an' Ashiya switched.

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

Sucks for you, I guess.

[ Urushihara looks back at Maou askance, trying to get a read on him. He's still not quite used to Maou; deep down, maybe he prefers Satan. Then again, this world seems so heavily based on heroes that it might be wise to keep a low profile here, too. ]

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

[Maou doesn't want to agree to that, because really, it does suck. He misses Ashiya. But having Urushihara isn't bad, and he doesn't want to make him think so.

Instead, Maou sighs and leans his chin in a palm, the elbow jabbing into a thigh of his crossed legs. Another jump into another unfamiliar world weighs his shoulders down. Satan will likely never be satisfied with his position in life, no matter how high he climbs. Maou still carries that ambition, but he wanted things to stay the way they were for a while, in that tiny Devil's Castle in Sasazuka. He doesn't want to lose that familial simplicity. This change is a challenge he'll face with gusto, but it's one he hates at the moment. The gusto will come later.

After a moment, he speaks like it's all just a casual complaint] It's not even square one. They just scooped up my position at MgRonald's an' replanted it into another world's grocery store. We just got more obstacles this time around.

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

[ Despite the Maou-Satan divide, Urushihara can't deny that he never felt truly "at home" anywhere in Ente Isla. That tiny apartment in a tiny part of Shibuya was greater than the true Heaven, and he knew he'd miss it.

Then again, Maou was here. At least he wasn't completely alone.

And Emilia wasn't here either. That was even better. ]

So, there goes your loyalty to your franchise, eh? Any customer service position will do?

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

Hey!

[He erupts, fist clenched in the air and everything. And just like that, the gusto fires are relit]

I'll always be loyal to MgRonald's, you take that back!

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

Ah, no.

What job did you get saddled with here, anyway? Drive-thru at Sentucky Fried Chicken?

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

NO WAY IN HELL!! It's a produce store called Blessed Bounties an' it's a very respectable place to work! An' when we get [home] back to our Earth, I'll reclaim my position at MgRonald's!

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

Yeah, as long as you don't get fired for not showing up to work for... However long you're here.

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

Miss Kisaki will understand . . . Right?

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

Maybe you shouldn't get too used to the idea of going to Japan. Someone might end up transferred to Greenland.

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

[a shudder runs up his spine all the way to the top of his head.

his voice cracks] Dude. Sh-she wouldn't . . .






She would.

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

Better get comfortable here.

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

NOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo....... [he grips his head and hunches over on himself, an armadillo in despair]

I don't wanna be flash-frozen . . . THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

It's actually kinda funny. You work at a grocery store now, right? Does that mean we get better food now?

...Oh, wait. Ashiya's not here. Neither is Suzuno. Who's gonna cook?!

[ action ]

[mickeyd_emon]

[Maou peeks up through his bangs]

There's other people in this house. Someone's gotta have the skill we can exploit.

[ action ]

[disorder_heaven]

We could always order out.

A lot.

Or buy premade crap from the grocery store.