rekt: (pic#10947300)
JOHN  MURPHY ([personal profile] rekt) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2017-05-08 06:53 pm

text; idk hi

[ exhibit A of why teenagers shouldn't be allowed to stash booze and live without supervision. here's john murphy, professional underaged human garbage. ]

heropians, super freaks, import nation, whatever the hell we're supposed to be calling ourselves. importkru? im not even drunk enough for that.

i need an advice column. i have dilemmas.

1 - what do u do when ur teen orgy roommates keep a man sized devil bird as a pet and ur pretty sure its gonna try 2 eat ur eyeballs some night? its name is henrietta, which makes it sounds like it should b wearing a frilly dress + a sun hat idk but its hideous

2 - what abt when the guy ur getting free money from needs a revenge boot up his ass but u need more popsicles?

3 - was ne1 else a lot more badass in nightmare soviet america than currently?

4 - whats the perfect gift that says 'thx 4 the free housing but ur virgin experimenting is awkward 2 b around'?


ps, hahaha i love the problems i have here, god bless america
admemoriam: (you'll close it off board it up)

text.

[personal profile] admemoriam 2017-05-09 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
1. henrietta is a delight and you just need to buy her more burgers, also we haven't had any orgies

2. not touching this one

3. no bc i was busy getting tortured

4. excuse you not everyone here is a virgin
admemoriam: (if you stop staring straight through me)

[personal profile] admemoriam 2017-05-09 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
1. she's not a pet she's an independent woman

3. that tends to happen when someone saws off your arm

4. says the guy talking about someone else's sex life on the network


["Sex life". Or lack thereof.]

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 01:08 (UTC) - Expand
metalminded: (yeah ok whatever)

text

[personal profile] metalminded 2017-05-09 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
1. Buy henrietta a dress.
2. Get a real job.
3. No.
4. Money to cover breaking the lease and a notification of moving.

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-09 00:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-09 01:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-09 01:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-09 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-09 02:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-09 22:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-09 23:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-10 22:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-11 23:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-13 02:28 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-14 00:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-15 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-16 21:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] metalminded - 2017-05-19 03:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 01:48 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 02:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 12:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-10 00:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-11 03:21 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-11 03:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-11 03:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-11 03:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-11 03:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-12 02:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-12 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-12 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-15 01:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-15 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-28 19:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-06-07 00:49 (UTC) - Expand
divaricate: made for me; please don't take (➤ commission [18])

text

[personal profile] divaricate 2017-05-09 01:04 am (UTC)(link)

1: train it to answer only to you.
2: get your own job so that you can buy all the popsicles you want.
3: nah.
4: a basket of fruit.


[Some of her answers may be less serious than others.]

(no subject)

[personal profile] divaricate - 2017-05-09 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divaricate - 2017-05-09 01:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divaricate - 2017-05-09 02:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divaricate - 2017-05-10 23:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divaricate - 2017-05-10 23:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] divaricate - 2017-05-11 00:18 (UTC) - Expand
am_i_a_monster: (Default)

text

[personal profile] am_i_a_monster 2017-05-09 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
But you are drunk?

1 - give it something else to eat instead.

2 - find another source of money or put up with him.

3 - I don't know. I fought for what I thought was right so, yes? But I died, so no?

4 - give yourself a gift of ear plugs and don't look at them.

they are better than other problems.

text

[personal profile] am_i_a_monster - 2017-05-09 01:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] am_i_a_monster - 2017-05-09 02:20 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] am_i_a_monster - 2017-05-09 23:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] am_i_a_monster - 2017-05-09 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] am_i_a_monster - 2017-05-12 01:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] am_i_a_monster - 2017-05-12 01:53 (UTC) - Expand
carbonfrozen: (and i'm so far from my home)

[text]

[personal profile] carbonfrozen 2017-05-09 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
1. get on its good side and feed it whatever it wants that aren't your eyeballs

2. revenge boot, then get a job

3. no

4. cake

(no subject)

[personal profile] carbonfrozen - 2017-05-09 01:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] carbonfrozen - 2017-05-09 02:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] carbonfrozen - 2017-05-09 02:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] carbonfrozen - 2017-05-10 10:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] carbonfrozen - 2017-05-19 07:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] carbonfrozen - 2017-05-25 09:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] carbonfrozen - 2017-05-09 01:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] admemoriam - 2017-05-09 01:59 (UTC) - Expand
taraincognita: (Default)

[personal profile] taraincognita 2017-05-09 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
1. run away 2 the desert, there are almost no orgies there

2. steal popsicles, put boot up ass

3. no

4. oh my god literally just move out dude

(no subject)

[personal profile] taraincognita - 2017-05-09 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] taraincognita - 2017-05-10 03:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] taraincognita - 2017-05-19 00:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] taraincognita - 2017-05-27 00:00 (UTC) - Expand
morethan084: (small smile)

[personal profile] morethan084 2017-05-09 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
How drunk are you?

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-05-09 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-05-09 22:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-05-09 22:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-05-09 23:12 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-05-09 23:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-05-18 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-06-01 07:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] morethan084 - 2017-06-10 01:21 (UTC) - Expand
dejerate: (What do you want)

text;

[personal profile] dejerate 2017-05-09 11:04 am (UTC)(link)
Never had pets and I dealt with roommates by moving with others from home so I dunno how much help I am there but.

I hear you. Problems like these really make this place seem like a vacation from things back home, huh?


[...He'll ignore the 'virgin experimenting' part. Of course.]

text;

[personal profile] dejerate - 2017-05-10 10:35 (UTC) - Expand

text;

[personal profile] dejerate - 2017-05-19 11:50 (UTC) - Expand

text;

[personal profile] dejerate - 2017-05-25 02:00 (UTC) - Expand
nastygram: (C:\trollometer)

text; username dh4z3

[personal profile] nastygram 2017-05-09 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)
1 - animal control duh

2 - sell his ass out, rake in that sweet sweet sellout cash money, live like a free king on a throne of popsicles

3 - no :( u?

4 - a cake that says "thnx 4 the free housing but ur virgin experimenting is awkward 2 b around" in icing
insert here a pic of that congrats on the sex cake but all shooped w/ --^

ps, do not come up with a snappy name for we the people
imPorts is lame enough

(no subject)

[personal profile] nastygram - 2017-05-10 04:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] nastygram - 2017-05-23 21:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] nastygram - 2017-05-25 04:28 (UTC) - Expand
specialise: (pic#10234224)

TEXT.

[personal profile] specialise 2017-05-10 10:58 am (UTC)(link)
[ jsyk, raven can't help herself. she hates murphy, but he's the only asshole she knows well here, and hence she bothers to reply. ]

wtf is wrong with you?

TEXT.

[personal profile] specialise - 2017-05-11 02:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] specialise - 2017-05-11 02:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] specialise - 2017-05-11 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] specialise - 2017-05-11 03:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] specialise - 2017-05-11 03:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] specialise - 2017-05-14 06:11 (UTC) - Expand
mantlepieces: (026)

TEXT.

[personal profile] mantlepieces 2017-05-11 09:00 am (UTC)(link)
1. whoever said animal control has the right idea, its the only humane option.

2. I dont understand the question these things have nothing to do with each other

3. badass how

4. write that on a note + tie note to rock + throw rock through window
or do nothing
why do u need to get anyone a gift in the first place

these are barely even problems, ur way overthinking it

TEXT.

[personal profile] mantlepieces - 2017-05-14 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

TEXT.

[personal profile] mantlepieces - 2017-05-14 01:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mantlepieces - 2017-05-25 23:38 (UTC) - Expand
pillz: (peek)

[personal profile] pillz 2017-05-13 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
what is ur dfinition of 'badass'
des that mean somethin different in space
ure aight murphluffle
dont b so fuckin self-loathing

(no subject)

[personal profile] pillz - 2017-05-13 19:03 (UTC) - Expand

ok

[personal profile] pillz - 2017-05-13 20:32 (UTC) - Expand