Video: BB-8 says hi

[flightforfreedom]

[ Hello network. When the video first comes on, all that's really visible is the ceiling, and the audio is a soft, gentle snore. A second later, however, a spherical white and orange droid rolls into view, looming over the camera. He beeps a hello in Binary, though the meaning translates well enough regardless, and then proceeds to type using a tiny extendable arm onto Poe's communicator. ]

Network query: How best to make idiot human happy?

Additional optional query: How many have idiot humans?

Additional request: How best to delete network messages and/or bribe communication devices to not show them.

Thank you.

Comments

[stylistic_disloyalty]

...wow. I want a Roomba that mutters about revolution. Don't know how useful it'd be at keeping my temper in check, but it sounds incredible.

Yes. Clearly we need to get you a British Language Pack.

[flightforfreedom]

His name is X-Celsior. When you arrive, I will introduce you.

In fairness - it has been a difficulty to adjust to Earth-only terms already, and food terms especially often have many synonyms.

You are welcome to teach me any British English you think I require.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Alright fair. I just assumed you already knew these things, given most evil bad guy regimes are staffed by people who sound like they came from down my block.

While I'm riding, let's get you started. First up, very important, 'bugger off'. Exclamation, general meaning 'kindly leave me alone'.

[flightforfreedom]

While you do share an inflection and pitch similar to those from the Galactic Core, it is not an accurate measurement of Imperial or First Order sympathies.

Rey has a very similar accent.

Bugger off sounds like a very useful phrase. Is it understood within the American dialect, or should it only be used with those of British origin?

[stylistic_disloyalty]

But, it does make you wonder, doesn't it? [Not really. It's kind of a trope with no real basis.]

I think most 'yanks' understand it. That's a term hardly anybody uses anymore to refer to Americans.

You know what's also fun? Any noun, put in the past-tense, means you got drunk off your ass. For example: trollied, car-parked, and gazeboed. Trust me, works perfectly every time.

[flightforfreedom]

I will have to gather more data to ascertain if that trend is legitimate or merely a result of human pattern recognition programming.

"Yanks" has now been added to my dictionary.

That is an interesting phenomenon.

Velcroed.

Lightbulbed.

Lollipopped.

Are these accurate?

[stylistic_disloyalty]

Well if I said 'Poe got utterly velcroed at the bar last night', you'd know what I was talking about, wouldn't you?

[flightforfreedom]

[ There's a slight pause.

Processing... ]

Yes.

You are correct.

I would know precisely what you meant.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

And there you go.

See you in a few, you delightful football.

[flightforfreedom]

I happily await your arrival, Luci.

[stylistic_disloyalty]

[AND WE'RE GONNA FLASH FORWARD THROUGH THAT DRYFT RIDE--]

[To the dulcet tones of Luci, noisily eating chips on the floor while leaning against the couch Poe's sleeping on. She's making no effort to be quiet, the eating meant to encourage Poe to wakefulness before Luci has to watch him sleep for hours on end. Plus she's done with the sandwich BB-8 gave her on arrival, so now it's time to be occupied with something else.]

[Namely, returning the 'idiot human's' favor.]