THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2018

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2018 ImPorts are attracting a lot of media attention this month, with Ambassador Logan's Swear-In going over so well, and My Nonah Nightmare raking in thousands of views!

OH THE IRON-Y
As seen in newspapers, social media, and news sites:
Poe Dameron was the surprise winner of the extreme ironing world championships this year, when he ironed a shirt while flying a bicycle in the middle of the caldera of a volcano. There was a four hour argument among judges for whether or not he should be given points for the flying portion of his performance, as it was an unfair imPort advantage, but in the end the use of the volcano still secured him top spot. Dameron himself said about the win: "Next time I'm going to do it in space."

COMING AT YOU LIKE A DARK HORSE
As seen in print interview for ImPort Life magazine:

With My Nonah Nightmare in full swing, it's raking in the ratings as one of the highest watched programs of its time slot. Following the antics of a group of individuals living their lives for two weeks inside a supposedly haunted house, we've quickly come to learn that they'll put up their dukes over a king size bed!

We had the pleasure of having Odin Dark and Peter Maximoff for a short interview, both being reality TV veterans. While the Deputy Ambassador of Maurtia Falls Mr. Maximoff will be making no (known,) appearances during the show - we've got the scoop that his beau, Odin "The Glitterstallion" Dark will be flapping his cape and suiting up for a cameo as a spooky guest. Fans hope to see Miss Rootbeer Maximoff-Dark accompany him.

Our interview was cut short when Mr. Maximoff fell into hysterics upon watching fellow ImPort Riptide vandalize a statue on the show. Quote: "I - Oh my - He - What? I can't!" And like an infectious disease, this laughter spread quickly to Mr. Dark and the interview did not recover.

My Nonah Nightmare airs live online and daily "best-of" at 8PM, from October 17th to 31st.

PHOBOS AND LOATHING IN SPACE TRAVEL
As seen in worldwide news across numerous publications and mediums:

PRESS RELEASE FROM AEGIS FORCE: Project Alke, the joint imPort-NASA mission to Mars, has released the findings of its exploration after returning to Earth last month. Thanks to many imPorts and natives joining together in a common cause, this successful mission has exposed and defeated a major threat to the world. Despite the misinformation and fear that was spread about Alke's nature, truth and courage won out in a decisive battle in space.

Alke launched from the International Moon Base and flew to Mars over several days. ImPort crew suffered nanite sickness, but combated it using government-provided injections. The ship reached the orbit of Mars and encountered a secret armed base built deep into the surface of Mars' moon Phobos, whose existence had previously been suspected but doubted. Scanning and reconnaissance proved that the base was both very real and harbouring nuclear weapons. Radio contact and attempts at negotiation failed to provide a peaceful solution: Phobos personnel described imPorts as a 'plague and a disease' and confirmed that they were responsible for an attempt to destroy the Porter by attacking Heropa. After Alke transmitted this evidence to Earth, the government approved the boarding of Phobos Base to neutralize the threat.

The base was heavily defended by numerous combat robots, as well as eight agents of the Otherworld Technologies Organization (OTO). Alke crewmembers breached the defenses and uncovered evidence of shocking unethical experiments being conducted on humans and animals within the base, for the apparent purpose of creating artificial metahuman abilities. One surviving OTO test subject was found in extreme pain and distress, and has since been returned to Earth for medical treatment.

After recognizing they could not win the fight, the OTO activated a self-destruct aboard Phobos Base. Regrettably, imPorts could not cancel this process. The base was evacuated before its nuclear reactor and warheads detonated. This explosion partially destroyed the moon of Phobos, and has caused enormous damage to the surface of Mars below through falling debris.

The Alke returned to Earth safely, although the stresses of the high-speed journey inflicted serious and permanent engine damage. The ship is currently grounded at Cape Canaveral for the foreseeable future. No casualties were suffered by imPorts or NASA beyond two cases of imPorts who suffered radiation exposure within Phobos Base and have since recovered with the aid of government nanites. Surviving OTO personnel have been transferred to government custody to be criminally prosecuted for their involvement in nuclear terrorism, illegal experiments, and demolishing a moon. All evidence and data gathered by Alke has also been shared with the authorities.

Questioning these prisoners and decrypting computer files has already revealed important information. Phobos was run by an extreme cell of the OTO, and its crew was communicating with the apocalyptic supernatural entity known as Atropos who also seeks to destroy imPorts and likely the Earth itself. Other elements of the OTO are believed to currently be engaged in political influence operations within US allies abroad.

This voyage to Mars should be recognized as a historic event, and the courage of those who made Alke fly will be remembered as their work is carried on through ongoing partnership between imPorts and natives. Aegis is proud to have been part of this mission and remains devoted to Earth's protection. Investigations will continue against the criminal organization calling itself the OTO. Anyone seeking to contact Aegis Force with information or questions about these events is encouraged to reach out to the team's hotline.

GOTTA KEEP 'EM SEPARATED
As seen in Local news media (newspapers, television, etc):

MASSACRE IN MAURTIA FALLS. Twelve members of the Tatars were found dead of multiple gunshot wounds early Saturday morning in Maurtia Fall's old industrial district. The Tatars are a small Russian-American gang started in 2003, and have had regular conflicts with other gangs over territory and drug related disputes. No suspects have been named yet, though most suspect this massacre to be an attack made by a rival gang.

METAL KNIGHTMARES
As seen in Local news media, imPort fansites, bwitter and other social media:

There's been reports of a strange woman wandering the highway outside of Maurtia Falls late Friday night. She's of medium height and covered head to toe in chrome plated armor, and seemed agitated when approached by locals before disappearing with superhuman speed. Is this the face of Maurtia Falls' newest imPort hero?

FRIGHT FEST
As seen in local news media, social media: It's time for Chrysalis' Unlimited's first annual Spooktober Fundraiser! The company, previously known for their work in prosthetics and neurological research, hopes to raise funds for natives impacted by imPort violence and to bridge a gap between the native and imPort populations. This charity fundraiser will be held Saturday night, October 27th, and politicians, local celebrities and imPorts are invited. There will be drinks and dinner, a charity auction, and a costume contest!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from PARTY ROCK CANDY BLUE to VAST AND INFINITE VELVET.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Comments

[recommendations]

What on Earth is "extreme ironing?"

[flightforfreedom]

[ attachment.jpg ]

1/?

[recommendations]

[recommendations]

[recommendations]

done

[recommendations]

But... the wind would wrinkle the shirt!

text

[hellraiser02]

Must be ol' Joan of Arc haunting the highways again, huh?

text; u/n Calyx

[andtherevolution]

you wish

[And there's a link to some uploaded footage]

i bet you anything that she's involved with them. i was there that night, and i can tell you it wasn't a pretty sight.

[hellraiser02]

[Oracle, huh? He recognizes that username...]

Fantastic

I think I would have preferred the chick that threw me across the road again tbh

[knaval]

[riptide posts a selfie of himself with the statue, which now has even more crude graffiti on it.]

[queenofseers]

Truly you're using fame for good instead of evil.

[ This is meant to be read in the most deadpan tone imaginable. ]

[knaval]

[another selfie. this time he's sort-of coloured in the statue's head to look like cass's facial markings. there's also a pair of googly eyes? a big pair of googly eyes on it now.]

[revolutionrocks]

Stone friend!

[knaval]

u kno her?

[quickfingers]

[HE'S SO FUCKING PROUD???????]

dick butt.
dick butt it.

DI CK BUTT IT

[knaval]

[he draws... buttdick. poorly.

you're not the boss of him.]

Video; U/N: Oracle; Code: Surveillance

[codeoracle]

[The footage comes from up on high, and it records a group of a dozen men shuffling around the lobby of an old building. The muffled conversations are interrupted by gunfire from outside, and the men hit the ground as the glass from the front window shatters. Before they can pull out their own weapons, an androgynous figure appears where the window once was, their chest and arms covered in metal plating. A helmet covers their head save for their mouth, and there's a gleaming red visor where their eyes should be. They lift their arm, revealing a gun mounted on the top, and there's a muffled gasp from the camerawoman before another round of gunfire, cutting off the lights. The recording stops]

[There's more footage. It's too dark to see much of anything, but an audio recording of two men arguing can be heard]

This isn't what I signed up for, you freak of-

Calm down, Hicks. You're used to cleaning up messes, aren't you?

A mess?! This isn't a goddamn broken plate! How the hell am I supposed to make this disappear?!

You're a creative man. Besides, it's not like they don't have enemies... and we both have friends we can count on.

And if I say no?

A little late to grow a conscience, isn't it? I don't think your boss would appreciate it.

[Silence]

Make the call, Hicks.

[There's the shuffling of cloth before Hicks speaks again]

...Newman? Get the others. We've got a long night.

Text

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[What the hell is happening in Maurtia Falls? Jacob hasn't seen it this violent in a while.]

Is this from the Tatar killings?

How did you get this footage?

text; u/n Calyx

[andtherevolution]

would you believe luck?

i was looking around for the missing kids. instead i found this.

[codeoracle]

Luck. I have feeds everywhere, finding this wasn't planned.

audio;

[notgood]

So it wasn't rival gang. A single ImPort...?

text; u/n Calyx

[andtherevolution]

if it's imports then there's more than just one. did you see that girl people were talking about on bwitter?

text;

[codeoracle]

i wouldn't say it's just one. too coordinated, there's more we need to learn.

text;

[cigarbribery]

Was that an imPort? Do you have any idea who those two arguing were?

[codeoracle]

Compiling data. Names are familiar, but not well known. Not to me.